(based on materials from the course “Psychosuppression.
The Art of Winning Tough Negotiations"

Many of our actions are carried out according to a solid scenario, and as a result of repeated repetitions they become automatic: shaking hands, lighting a cigarette, getting up from a chair, etc.

When an action has become automatic, a person is aware only of its beginning and end (for getting up from a chair: you are aware of yourself either sitting or standing; you do not have to control the tension of the body muscles that provide the action itself).

There are similar patterns in thinking: when you present a stimulus to a person, you expect to receive a certain reaction in advance (for example, when giving a woman a compliment, you expect her to say: “Thank you”).

Moreover, at the moment of breaking a patterned action (that is, an action that a person perceives as continuous), the subject falls into confusion, very close to a hypnotic trance state, and takes any command literally. This is used both for treatment and for repelling.

The main thing when breaking the pattern is to do something different from what is expected of you. When your child is accosted by a gopnik on the street, he has a certain “scenario” in advance - a mental template of future behavior for himself and for the potential “victim”.

At the same time, the gopnik calculated in advance how to behave if the “victim” refused to let him smoke (“What a pity, bitch?!”). There is also a template in case you need to smoke (“What, you bastard, are you giving me a raw one?!”). Even for the most unexpected, it would seem, case - and that is a template (“Who did you send?”). Therefore, it is necessary to break all communication patterns.

The driving force behind abusers is always the fear of their victim. Teaching a child psychological defense can be built on this. An opponent equal in strength of spirit (namely spirit) can become either a friend or an enemy, but he will not be bullied.

How to answer questions like: “Hey, come here!” If they shout “Come here!”, you have to stop and wait. You shouldn’t answer “Come here yourself!” Have your child stand and wait for someone to approach him. They come up and say, “Why are you deaf?” or this type (frostbite, swelling). Answers: “Can I help you with something?”

We're not suckers. Or the situation started differently. They come up and extend their hand to say hello. You shouldn’t shake hands, because a normal guy won’t shake hands with the first person he meets (in prison, the laws of which are sacred to Gopniks, they generally don’t shake hands).

Instead, ask: “Who are you?” - there is always a right to this. Gopnik says: “I’m local here” or something else. Answer: “I don’t know you.” This is followed by “Why the hell should I say hello?” Answer: “I don’t know you, maybe you’re not a kid at all. Who knows you” (the main thing here should be a hint). But you need to hint in such a way that the gopnik does not have the opportunity to accuse your child of anything. Instead, the gopnik must understand that his interlocutor knows the rules of the game.

The main task here is to remain within the framework of HIS rules, to break off the gopnik using his own methods - there is no need to appeal to universal morality and quote the Constitution. The trump card of the gopniks is that they impose their rules on the victims and force them to play by them on their field. So you should play the proposed game with a serious look.

Hitting the market. If they obviously didn’t come to beat your son, then what follows is part two - “a hit at the market.” In any case, if he is not yet lying on the asphalt, and people are talking to him, then everything is in order.

1. Gop: There are little things

Your child: Yes

Gop: Give me

Your child: No

Gop: Is it a pity or are you a rat?

Your child: No need to give away or Not enough for yourself

2. Gop: There is an apparatus, well, there is a carochi?

Your child: Yes (in no case should you lie, if the phone rings, your child will be 100% loaded and the phone will be taken away for lying)

Gop: Let me see

Your child: No, go to the store and look or A phone is like a phone, why look at it?

3. Gop: Do you have a mobile phone?

Your child: Yes, but what don’t you have?

Gop: No.

Your child: What if I find it?!

4. Gop: Hey, why are you talking like that?

Your child: I’m having a blast, that’s how I talk.

5. Gop: Who are you in life?

Your child: Boy.

Gop: Prove that you are a boy?

Your child: Let's go to the toilet, I'll prove it.

6. Gop: Let's go and move away.

Your child: I don’t feel bad here either.

The best defense is attack. The universal answer - it always works:

For what purpose are you interested?

It is important to understand and remember the main rule of Gopniks: to attack, you need a reason. Aggression without a reason is lawlessness. Your child is expected to give a reason. As long as he doesn't give it, he's relatively safe.

Never make excuses. In all cases, you need to persistently continue your topic. Under no circumstances answer questions - “I respect you, but...”, “I’m not being rude, but...”. The particle “but” will be immediately regarded as weakness. Then the phrase will follow: “What are you making excuses for? Do you feel something behind you?” or something similar, and we will have nothing to answer it with. This is a 100% trick - it doesn’t matter what exactly your child answers or is simply silent, everything will be turned as an attempt to either make excuses or be rude.

Example:

Your child: I'm not making excuses (agree, it sounds stupid).

Gop: Justify.

Your child: Why should I justify?

Gop: Because you are making excuses.

Your child: I’m not making excuses!

Gop: What are you doing now?

Your child: I... well... fuck you! I do not want to talk to you.

Gop: Oh, you’re also a rude...

Let's break the situation

Gop: What, it’s a waste of time to splurge with normal boys? (in response to a question asked)

Remember - no “no”, “no”, and especially “but”.

Your child: You didn't answer my question.

Gop: And you are on mine.

Your child: Are you going to run into chaos?

Gop: Are you accusing me of something?

Your child: Answer my question. Do I have the right to ask?

Please note - just “inquire”. “Ask” has a double meaning in fen (thieves’ jargon) - they ask someone for something that will immediately be regarded as an assault - “I have the right to ask.” - "What? Ask me? For what? Justify." That's it, it's a dead end again.

I'm interested in myself.

“I’m interested for myself” is a stock phrase-answer to the question “for what purpose are you interested?” Everything is fine. As soon as something like that was said, the enemy wavered - the “right guy” began to make excuses. Now the main thing is not to go too far.

I do not know you.

Under no circumstances should you continue this phrase: “And I’m not going to talk to you,” “Why should I answer you,” “It’s none of your business.” Only neutral phrases. As long as your child has not given a formal casus belli, he is in a better position.

We stop smiling and show with all our appearance that the conversation is over.

Hold positions. The cycle can be repeated in different variations. Your child should simply hold on to his position, the meaning of which is whoever started the conversation must justify the reason.

In fact, there is only one reason for this conversation, and it is worth remembering - provoke your child and gain the moral right to attack, insult, humiliate, hit, take away.

But, naturally, the “right guy” will never voice it, because then he himself admits to being a lawless person. And this is no longer common sense - the right guys don’t cause chaos.

Therefore your child should ask questions that the gopnik cannot answer, but, according to his own rules, he is obliged. In chess this is called a “fork” - we attack two pieces with one piece. The only choice the opponent has is which piece to lose.

The point is that it is impossible to admit that the purpose of the tackle was to run him over, as you understand. Gopnik must comply with the laws of thieves' diplomacy and remain within the limits of the law. To remain silent or to leave essentially means to tacitly admit that everything was exactly as it was. And this means lowering yourself in the eyes of your comrades and your own.

Clear victory. But no one wants to be defeated, even though such a turn of events is quite likely. Admitting defeat, of course, can be compensated by insults or promises to “see you again” - this is a last-ditch attempt to provoke your child. You just need to be silent.

Don't bend. In no case should your child comply with the gopnik’s petty requests - instead, he should demand that the reason be stated first or qualify this as a direct assault. What to say directly.

Gop: Give me a glass.

- …

Your child is silent and smiling. Waiting for accusations...

Gop: Are you a bastard, or what?

... and launches a counterattack.

Your child: Checking for the Sucker suit? (or: - Do you want to run into me?)

Gop: I ask you as a normal kid (Gopnik makes excuses. And in front of everyone he calls your child a “normal kid.” Two points earned).

Your child: Ahh. I'm sorry, i do not understand. On the.

A draw on a foreign field is a victory. If you don’t want to be defeated, then the gopnik remains -

1. Or start beating your interlocutor, which puts him in the category of offenders from the point of view of the law and into the category of lawless people from the point of view of concepts. He doesn’t need this, because the gop just wants to rise at the expense of other people’s humiliation.

2. Or “admit” that the goal was different - to get to know each other, communicate, spend time together. That is, to avoid defeat. That's what was required. A draw on a foreign field suits us quite well.

“Fork” - he already chooses only between which option of defeat to accept. Most likely he is not a fool: - Don’t know me? Well, let's get acquainted (you can shake paws).

Don't get carried away with winning. If a turning point occurs on the battlefield, you can give the gopnik the opportunity to rehabilitate himself in his own eyes and in the eyes of the boys. This is what needs to be done - otherwise the feeling of defeat will most likely lead to a new wave of aggression, which cannot be stopped by talking.

After an acquaintance, however, cycles of the same answers and questions may follow again, and the acquaintance itself was only a trick - you just need to be vigilant and in no case relax.

No matter how many such cycles there are, the task is the same - not to provide a reason.

This means:

Don't make excuses;

Don't answer questions;

Do not comply with requests;

Do not break into “high” tones - remain polite and calm;

Continue to demand an answer to your question;

Ask “uncomfortable” questions.

We smile. It is important. This confuses and makes the attacker nervous. This makes him wary and act cautiously - “why is he crushing his face? Maybe he knows what? And he makes himself look like a fool...”

Even… If your child has met complete scumbags, then you won’t have to talk for long. But in reality, such instances are extremely rare - this is a mental pathology. Almost every person has a taboo against unjustified aggression. Those. You always need a reason, no matter how funny or far-fetched. The concepts of thieves also speak about this.

Even if your child suffers, then, firstly, he will retain his dignity, respect in the face of his friends and himself. And even enemies, which means a lot in the future. And, secondly, both the law and concepts are on his side, and he may well demand satisfaction, gaining strength, for example, in the form of support from friends. He is no longer a loser, but a warrior who has just lost a battle, but not the entire war.

Errors. There are two possible strategic mistakes here:

Fear will take over and the child will break down, starting to mutter something inarticulate and will readily give everything that is “asked” of him;

He will feel like he is on a horse and decides to build on his success by exceeding the permissible dose of assault - most likely, in this case he will be beaten.

To teach your child to communicate effectively in such stressful situations, I recommend that you periodically practice such communication with him at home. This will allow your son to remember the correct speech patterns and not forget them in “combat conditions.”

Verification passed. If your child doesn’t make a mistake, and his “opponent” doesn’t leave the battlefield himself, then he may sincerely want to continue communication.

This often happens - if you pass the “toddler” test, you become not only an equal, but also a respected equal. In crowds of gopniks there are usually one or two “real” boys, the rest are sticky. The leader always knows this and, in general, he is not interested in them - they are his own pathetic copies.

Therefore, quite honestly and sincerely, they may want your son as a friend.

Choosing it. If not, then no. They patted each other on the shoulder, and even hugged each other like brothers. The market is over, it's over.

The favorite technique of hooligans is based on exerting brutal mental pressure on a weaker opponent with their aggressive behavior, which often turns into direct physical impact.

What is important for such characters? Creating entertainment for yourself in the form of humiliating the weaker and building the image of a hero in the eyes of your friends.

The victim's reaction to such bullying, which is within the bully's script, makes his actions a win-win situation. This scenario can be conditionally expressed as follows: “If this goat chickens out and runs away, then everyone will see how scary I am” (and this is one of the features of the image of a hero in the understanding of a bully). “If he jumps on me, I’ll break off his horns, and everyone will see how tough I am” (the second trait of the hero). “If he breaks off my horns, then my bruises and scars will be my military orders, testifying to my perseverance and indifference to pain” (another touch in the desired image).

Let me remind you that the bully’s scenario already includes the possibility of receiving physical damage. But the secondary (psychological) benefit of the bumps and bruises he receives far outweighs the physical damage he receives and the pain he experiences. Therefore, a primitive fight does not have any educational effect on the hooligan.

How to properly punish a bully?

It is necessary to inflict such physical damage on him that there will be no secondary utility for him. The best punishment option, beyond the bully's scenario, is public flogging. Can you imagine what it will be like for a hefty idiot when his pants are pulled down and flogged with rods in the presence of his friends? First of all, it hurts. Secondly, it's a shame. Thirdly, you can’t be particularly proud of having scars on your butt in front of your friends.

If there is a similar bully in the classroom or in the yard who is terrorizing the entire neighborhood, then the best thing your child can do is to organize several victims of such a bully and give him the “flogging” described above, or better yet, a series of similar events.

At the same time, each time the bully should clearly explain that if he tries to catch you one by one, the group spanking will invariably be repeated, in a much harsher form.

In addition, in the near future, while the bully's bitterness of defeat is strong, it is better for your children to stay close to each other. When the acute period ends, the bully will most likely switch to other victims who are unable to fight back together.

It should be noted that in nature, group baiting by weak animals of their strong enemy is quite common. Any zoologist can tell a lot of real stories about how some harmless little birds, united in a flock of angry furies, drove a formidable predator away from their nests. And, what is most interesting, usually the predator does not even try to snap at such mobbing, but, with its tail between its legs, simply tries to get away as quickly as possible. Apparently, the personal and species experience of such predators indicates that they have no protection from group bullying.

But there is a hidden danger here: having felt his strength in the group, your child himself may be tempted to begin to crush weaker children. This is where your parenting is extremely important.

Perhaps the most unpleasant situation on the street is when a group of young and strong guys surrounds you and very friendly asks you to give up your phone and money. The paradox of the jewelry gop-stop is that in most cases the victim gives everything himself, without threats from the “boys”, without beatings and very quietly. How to talk to gopniks if you have already found yourself in such an unpleasant situation? Is it even possible to do anything against these people and preserve not only your property, but also your self-esteem? At first glance, the advice is quite contradictory, but it is possible to identify a reasonable strategy suitable for use. To begin with, it’s worth understanding what kind of phenomenon you have to fight against and how to distinguish gopniks from banal robbers or hooligans.

Who are the gopniks?

You shouldn’t call everyone who encroaches on your property gopniks. By and large, these are not just aggressive youth, but so-called good boys. Gopniks have their own specific set of rules and unwritten laws and do not respect lawlessness, this is what makes it possible to get out of the situation. The rules are not violated by those who do not want to lose authority in the eyes of the “boys”, therefore, you need to put the gopnik in a position where he can no longer encroach on your property and physical health without the risk of being branded as a lawless man.

How to talk to gopniks if there is no chance to avoid the conversation altogether? In this regard, the advice circulated on the Internet is absolutely in agreement: the main parameter that should be observed is within yourself. A demonstrative belief that you are right will solve the problem in about half of the cases. At the same time, it is advisable to restrain yourself and not slide into direct aggression, which will only lead to a fight. However, if you really believe that you will prevail in a fight, no one can forbid you to defend your integrity by force.

Complex go-stop rules

In most cases, gopniks try to avoid direct violence; in this case, law enforcement agencies will have fewer reasons for dissatisfaction, and their reputation will not suffer. The ideal gop-stop represents a neat but thoughtful pressure on the victim to give up all his material assets. Infliction of physical damage of varying degrees of severity aggravates the article, under which, if caught, the “boys” can be prosecuted, so they try to stay within the framework of such an article as extortion.

Theoretically, this is a kind of subculture - Gopniks differ from ordinary people in appearance, behavior, life values ​​and a special vocabulary. But other subcultures try not to come into conflict with law enforcement agencies using the method of absence of illegal actions, rather than successful maneuvering and the principle “not caught, not a thief.”

It should be noted that gopniks usually go to another area of ​​the city to hunt for other people’s property, so there is less risk of meeting acquaintances, potential witnesses who will remember both the first and last name, and even how a possible person involved in a criminal case studied at school. “Don’t shit where you live” is a fairly simple and widespread rule that not only gopniks, but also other criminal elements try to adhere to.

If your neighbors are gopniks, this is not a reason to worry. Of course, such a neighborhood is inconvenient and sometimes noisy, but the average Kolyan in a tracksuit can turn out to be a pretty good guy who, if anything happens, will “fit in” for you against the visiting “guys”. Good neighborly relations are not alien to Gopniks; on the contrary, many of them reverently value good treatment. There are known cases when a group of gopniks helped push a stalled car or in some other way helped out those in trouble. Of course, it is worth considering that isolated cases cannot be considered the rule; another company may turn out to be far from being so peaceful.

How to talk to gopniks in terms of concepts?

Common advice that comes across on the Internet: try to pass as one of your own, use the same vocabulary, they won’t touch yours. Alas, we will have to disappoint lovers of mimicry: only the boys who decided to play gopnik and scare a gullible passerby will be deceived. Real “guys” who have been moving in criminal circles for several days will quickly recognize your disguise, and the situation can seriously worsen - not everyone will be able to “handle the hairdryer” so as to pass for a gopnik. But learning the thieves' language can be useful. Firstly, this is entertaining in itself, and secondly, if you meet with gopniks, this will help avoid misunderstandings. On the other hand, most of the expressions from the boys’ vocabulary are intuitive to us: it’s unlikely that a good person would be called a “rat” or some other unpleasant word.

What are the mysterious “concepts” according to which Gopniks choose a victim? Part of the answer lies in the very name of the victim - endured. This is a person who tolerates the wrong attitude towards himself, therefore, allows himself to be treated this way. This is where the universal instruction on how to talk to gopniks follows: first of all, you need to stop conforming to the appearance of an ideal victim. This will solve about fifty percent of the problems. So, two main points - self-confidence and categorical rejection

The right guys value respect towards themselves; it is the phrase “he doesn’t respect us, he’s rude to us” that can become a signal for an attack and a justification for any aggression towards the victim. Indeed, how not to kick someone who did not show due respect? From a psychological point of view, this makes it even easier not to lose control of the situation - as soon as you are carried away by emotions and overwhelmed by fear, you can consider the battle lost. Controlling your intonation and expressions will help you stay calm.

“Without a sucker, life is bad”

A sufferer and a sucker are not exactly the same thing, but the result, as a rule, is the same. The difference between these two types of victims is that they endured, and, accordingly, endure everything, and a sucker is a person who is simple-minded to the point of stupidity. It is worth noting that the slang of gopniks is not the truth; it is, rather, an excuse for one’s own actions, which is based on blaming the victim, because she is supposedly to blame for her misfortunes. This is often voiced to the police when it comes time to lay charges. Defenders of law and order find themselves in a difficult situation when it turns out that no one beat the victim or demanded that he give up his money or phone. An elegant, proper gop-stop is furnished in such a way that the victim, in confusion, gives everything himself.

It is worth knowing that gopniks never approach the first person they see on the street; they carefully choose their victim. Large groups even have spotters who monitor citizens withdrawing large sums of money from ATMs and tell their accomplices exactly how the target is dressed, which way he went, and where he put the money. Outwardly insecure people are at increased risk, especially if they walk alone. Any rules of behavior with gopniks begin with the point “not to be a victim.” If you see a suspicious person watching you, try to leave the potentially dangerous area as quickly as possible and let him know that you have seen him. A careful look is enough - you have “copied” him, this is a potential risk for the entire group, in case you have time to call and get help.

"Hop stop - we're coming around the corner"

The “boys” themselves highlight the main mistakes of their victims, you should not ignore information “from the other side of the barricades”, the words of the gopniks may seem offensive, but there is some truth in them. Some victims have the opportunity to see the danger from afar if the gopniks just sit in a crowd and drink beer - they usually behave quite noisily and do not hide. If you are caught in just such a company, just walking past on your business, most likely, you really attract attention to yourself with an emphatically frightened or simple-minded look. Walking at dusk, lighting your way with the latest model of iPhone, is also not the best strategy.

If, as in the famous song, they approached you from around the corner, this means that you were chosen as a victim in advance and you did not notice it. You should not give the initiative to the aggressors, although not everyone has the talent to seize the initiative. If you have the gift of rhetoric, this will help to “talk” your opponents, but if not, then do not hesitate to flee. There are many other potential victims wandering around; the likelihood of you being targeted is not as great as it seems.

We have to admit that sometimes it is better to give everything they ask for and leave. Of course, this is humiliating, annoying, and there is a risk that the convenient victim will now be greeted regularly and with open arms, turning into a “cash cow.” Some prefer to go into open confrontation so as not to damage their pride. We have to admit that this is the personal choice of each person, and only he is responsible for this choice.

Self-confidence as a weapon

Any conversation with gopniks begins with an attempt to attract your attention. For example, they may call you with the phrase “there is a conversation” or even the banal “hear, come here.” If you do not have the opportunity to get out of unnecessary communication, you should not obey and approach - many do this mechanically, but according to the logic of the “boys”, by doing this you demonstrate submission. The first rule: whoever needs it will do it himself. Thus, you shift the emphasis of submission from yourself to your interlocutor. The universal answer to any Gopnik question: “I don’t know.” That's right - he demands your attention, therefore, he must introduce himself, approach, literally report on the legality of his appeal. You are on your territory and in your right.

After this, the aggressor will be forced to either comply with your demands, or go into chaos and be the first to show aggression, which is not held in high esteem among normal “guys.” It is important that if you are not able to organically switch to his language and masterfully “use a hair dryer”, it is better not to try. A real gopnik will quickly see through your attempt to “change the suit” and use it against you. For example, he may accuse you of disrespect, of trying to deceive, thereby yanking control over yourself, and you will have to get out again. If the intended victim behaves calmly and with dignity, the “boys” may suspect that they have attacked the wrong person. Indeed, you never know, maybe an intelligent-looking person has a gun in his pocket or his dad is a crime boss? Now you can't be sure of anything.

Superiority moral and physical

Of course, if the phrase “I don’t know you” worked and the conversation proceeds with mutual respect, we can consider the round won. Often such a conversation ends with a handshake and goodbye, perhaps a joint smoke break. Gopniks sense a strong personality unmistakably and try not to meddle in the reasons for such confidence, because they can suddenly unearth something that will cause great pain to their “senior comrades.”

But aggression should only be shown if you are truly confident in your physical superiority. In a fight, gopniks do not follow sports rules, and there is a risk of simply getting hit in the head with a brick from behind. In this case, you will be accused of assault. If you cannot translate the gopnik slang into normal language, then you can easily recognize the exact intonation. At the slightest threat of physical violence, it is worthwhile to outline the prospects for this direction of events directly and as calmly as possible. For example, clarify that you will certainly record the beatings and no later than an hour later the entire company will be interrogated by an investigator at the police station on duty. The “boys” categorically do not like to get involved with law enforcement agencies. In addition, this promise automatically removes the “tolerant” label from you - you are not going to tolerate and remain silent, so you should not be contacted.

Ignore with long-term calculation

What to do if you are not at all athletic and don’t exude moral self-confidence? A timid character in itself is not a flaw, it is just a psychological feature. However, non-conflict does not make you a victim; in this case, it is simply better to choose other defense mechanisms. What to do if unpleasant slang expressions are already flying in your direction, making you want to pull your head into your shoulders?

You should not show fear and look sideways in the direction of the gopniks. Even if you want to run away as fast as you can, try to just quicken your pace and absentmindedly say “Sorry, I’m in a hurry.” This is quite neutral, but you don’t have to stop and see if your phrase made the right impression. You are in a hurry, so it is better to really evacuate from a potentially dangerous place as quickly as possible. Any public transport, large shopping center, any organization will do. The likelihood that you will be chased or watched around the corner until the end of time is negligible.

If these are not gopniks, but lawless people

Unfortunately, sometimes you have to meet not with gopniks who have at least some rules, but with ordinary bandits or hooligans, whose name is lawlessness. They do not follow any rules, they cannot be “talked out”, although at the same time they use the language of gopniks and may even try to disguise themselves as them. Most likely, the lawless people are actually former good “guys” who fell out with their surroundings precisely because they did not follow the rules and did not respect authorities. You can also fall out of your social circle as a result of an unsuccessful attempt to seize power in the group.

In this case, it is not the lawless people who do not respect themselves. Surprisingly, there are known cases when it was Gopniks who protected civilians from punks. It is possible that this is a simple coincidence, but again, allowing lawlessness on your territory, allowing strangers to “pinch” your personal patience is shameful for the boys. The main way to determine that these are not boys, but lawbreakers, is open aggression without attempts to shift the blame to the victim. If it is possible to call for help or escape, it is better to do this immediately, without waiting for the fight to start. We have to take into account that not everyone is able to physically resist bandits.

Even if you are a martial arts master, it is better to avoid a fight. This fits well with the philosophy of karate and any style of martial arts, and will also minimize material and physical losses on your part.

Ways to avoid danger

It cannot be said that those offered with gopniks and hooligans are universal and one hundred percent effective, but they can significantly reduce the degree of risk.

You shouldn’t show off a fat wallet or an expensive phone, even if you want to impress a girl. When moving along the streets, especially in a relatively disadvantaged area, it is better to look around carefully rather than withdraw into yourself. Then there is a chance to notice a suspicious group in advance, change the route, cross to the other side of the road, or at least wait for fellow travelers. Attacks on lone passers-by are much more common than attacks on groups of several people.

If a fight cannot be avoided and the aggressors clearly intend to inflict physical injuries of varying degrees on you, then try to protect your back so that no one can sneak up from behind. Street fighting experts advise attacking the leader; in most cases, the rest simply run away, but it is worth remembering that each case is individual.

Correct flight or tactical retreat should be carried out in the direction of any crowded or at least illuminated object. It’s not bad if there is a bank branch nearby, even at night. Don’t be shy to loudly tell the hooligans that they are being filmed by a bank camera, in case they forgot about the habit of serious institutions to install video cameras.

If, in the process of self-defense, you seriously injure someone or damage someone else’s property, for example, breaking the glass of an expensive foreign car, then there is a risk of remaining guilty. It’s a shame to realize that our legislation is imperfect, but this is why many experts recommend not waiting for the police to arrive, especially if you are sure that you remained unrecognized and no one remembers you. The chance of proving your innocence is, unfortunately, quite small.

Once there was an incident around 7 pm...
My friend and I took a bottle of tonic and stood civilly, drinking near the store, then suddenly one of the locals came up and extended his hand to say hello (as everyone usually does).
There were the usual questions: who are you, where are you from, on what occasion are you drinking, then more people from eight different age groups joined in, everyone started asking questions about who was good at what, some about money, some about cell phones, some about concepts (some about life) , even options were offered (boy, man, dork)...
What to do in such situations?
Thanks in advance.
M.

It’s impossible to cover everything at once, so let’s consider the “free” option and delve into the general principles of combat on foreign territory. These are at the same time the basic principles of communication in a cell - the main thing is to understand their essence. So:

How to behave when meeting with “gopniks”?
Rabbits and boas: Their weapon is our fear
Our fear is because we do not know the rules by which “that” world operates. But we certainly respect them. Because these are the rules of the strong - concepts. We respect the world of the strong, the world of thieves and authorities. But direct access there is closed; the full set of concepts is not accessible to a mere mortal. We obviously accept them, but we do not know their principles and norms. This is where the dog is buried. We accept the rules of the game without knowing them. Naturally, a more or less “blamed” freak, even with a measly income, knowing a couple of “tricks”, will beat you in no time. Because you agreed to play by his rules. And a person who voluntarily agreed to play by rules that he does not know is called a sucker.

Who are Gopniks
The word, as it should be understood, comes from the famous “gop-stop” - which in Fen means robbery or robbery, i.e. open possession of material assets. Robbery - with weapons, robbery - without.
Gopniks are not exactly criminals. They walk a fine line - first they “run into” the victim with a “bazaar”, probe him, cause fear and confusion. Moreover, this is done without a direct threat of violence - from the outside it will seem that the gopnik is all politeness, and you, on the contrary, are a nervous, unbalanced, or even completely aggressive type. As a result of such a hit, the victim, as a rule, gives up his property himself - usually small money, mobile phones, watches. Although this is not the main thing for a gopnik - he may not take anything from you. It is important for him to feel his superiority. Make you afraid of him.
Everything is often on the verge of a “joke”, a conversation “in terms of concepts”, so then during a showdown you can always say - he gave it to me himself. This is often confirmed by the victim herself:
- Well, yes, I gave it to them myself...
- Why?
- I don’t know...
– Did they threaten you? They said that they would beat you and take you away?
- No, they didn’t threaten. Well there... well, they said who he is in life...
-Then why did you give it to them?
- Don't know...
If you are in the police, then the officer begins to get nervous, or even go berserk, and, in the end, tries to get rid of you. There are no legal grounds. If there is a showdown among the lads, then you get the status of a sucker. And getting it from a sucker is a sacred thing for a gopnik. He's a kid, you're a sucker. Conceptually, he is right. The conversation is over.

How to answer questions like: “Hey, come here!”
This is a direct invitation to war - i.e. the war is already underway. Psychological. The main thing is not to be afraid and not to rush to approach, even if you are clearly inferior in strength. Although you shouldn’t openly demonstrate your coolness. Whoever starts must justify his actions. Therefore, if you are only being probed in this way, then you need to take the “conversation” in a different direction.
So, depending on the situation, you stop or turn around, in a word, express some interest. Don't come.
- Hey, come here, I said!
Answers like “come here yourself” are not suitable, as you understand, unless you are a boxing champion.
You're standing.
They come up to you. Scary.
- Don’t you hear? (frostbitten, swollen...)
Don't pay attention, freeze, like, further:
- Can I help you?

We're not suckers
If your “conversation” did not begin with a direct provocation like the one described above, then usually the gopnik will extend his hand to you when he meets - he greets you like a kid. This obliges you to be moderately polite and answer the first questions. Which is what he is trying to achieve. This is one of the main tricks of a gopnik - after such a gesture of “good will,” he gets the right to “fairly” be indignant that you, for example, do not want to communicate with him. Plus, he immediately creates an alibi for himself: “I approached him like a boy, and shook him with his claws. Was it like that!?” - “Well, yes...” - “And people over there saw it. And then he started to show off for me...” 1:0 in favor of the gop.
We break it off at the very beginning. It is very difficult to withstand - the look and the hand extended to you. The stencils of politeness are driven deep into us. The hand reaches out on its own. Let's hold on. Let's look it in the face. We smile.
- Who are you?
I know that this is difficult, especially if your opponent is clearly stronger than you or there is a crowd behind him. But you HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO THIS. A good guy will not shake hands with the first person he meets without first knowing who is in front of him. In prison they don’t shake hands at all, for example - and the rules of the prison are sacred to a Gopnik. And you don't have to press the first paw you see. “Or maybe you’re not a kid at all - who knows,” you hint. But you are hinting that he has no right to accuse you of anything. And besides, suspicions creep in that you know the rules of the game.
Your main task is to remain within the framework of HIS rules, to break off the gopnik using his own methods - you should not appeal to universal morality and quote the Constitution. This is the trump card of the gopnik, that he imposes his rules on you and forces you to play by them on his field. So that's what we do - we play the proposed game with a serious look.

Hitting the market
If they obviously didn’t come to beat you, then what follows is part two – “a hit at the market.” In any case, if you are not yet lying on the asphalt and people are talking to you, then everything is in order. In reality, if they are not afraid of you, then at least they are afraid of you.
-...who are you, where are you from?
-...let me see the phone number.
- ...have money?
– ...on what occasion are we drinking?
– ...who are you in life?

Freezing(May be skipped)
So. You MUST smile and say:
- I do not know you.
Go (stand) further.
If this doesn’t work (most likely it doesn’t) and the questions continue and the intonation intensifies, then you need to go on the offensive:

The best defense is attack
The universal answer is that it always works:
– For what purpose are you interested?
It is important to understand and remember the main thing - in order to attack you, you need a reason. Aggression without a reason is lawlessness. They are waiting for a reason from you. As long as you don't give it, you're safe.
Under no circumstances make the slightest concession - do not answer anything. NOT ONE QUESTION, even a completely innocent one. As soon as you answer something, even the most neutral, but to the essence of the question, and want to interrupt the conversation later, the aggressor has the “moral right” to accuse you of disrespect for himself, i.e. get this very right to take tough action. You “supported” the conversation, and then refuse to continue. Not pretty.
Of course, you won't get a direct answer to your question. Lots of options for further development:
- What, it’s a waste of time to go shopping with the boys?
-Are you being rude?
- You do not respect me?
- I didn't understand...

Never make excuses
In all cases, you need to “stupidly” continue your topic. Under no circumstances, again (see above), answer questions - “I respect you, but...”, “I’m not being rude, but...”. Your “but” will be immediately regarded as weakness. If the following phrase follows: “Why are you making excuses? Do you feel something behind you?” or something similar, then you will have nothing to answer it with. This is a 100% trick - it doesn’t matter what you answer or just remain silent, everything will be turned as an attempt to either make excuses or be rude.
“I’m not making excuses,” look at yourself from the outside, you understand that it just sounds stupid. But speak up nonetheless.
- Justify it.
– Why should I justify?
- Because you are making excuses.
- Yes, I’m not making excuses!
- What are you doing now?
- I... well... fuck you! I do not want to talk to you.
- Oh, you’re also a rude...
All. Then either escape, beating, or humiliation with confiscation of material assets.

Let's break the situation
– What, a waste of money with normal(!) boys? - This is a likely response to your counterattack.
Remember - no “no”, “no”, and especially “but”.
– You didn’t answer my question.
It doesn't hurt to keep smiling.
- And you are on mine.
– Are you going to run into chaos?
-Are you accusing me of something?
- Answer my question. Do I have the right to ask?
Please note - just “inquire”. “Ask” has a double meaning on a hairdryer - they ask someone for something that will immediately be regarded as an assault - “I have the right to ask.” - "What? Ask me? For what? Justify." That's it, it's a dead end again, you're in a bag.
– I’m interested for myself.
“I’m interested for myself” is a stock phrase-answer to the question “for what purpose are you interested?” Everything is fine. As soon as you heard something like that, the enemy wavered - you forced the “right guy” to justify himself. Now the main thing is not to go too far.
- I do not know you.
Under no circumstances should you continue this phrase: “and I’m not going to talk to you,” “why should I answer you,” “it’s none of your business.” Only stupidly neutral phrases. As long as you haven't given a formal casus belli, you're in a better position.
We stop smiling and show with all our appearance that the conversation is over.

Hold position
The cycle can be repeated in different variations. You simply hold on to your position, the meaning of which is that WHO STARTED THE CONVERSATION SHOULD JUSTIFY THE REASON.
In fact, there is ONE reason, and you must remember it - TO PROVOKE YOU AND GET THE MORAL RIGHT to attack, insult, humiliate, hit, take away. But, naturally, the “right guy” will never voice it, because then he himself admits to being a lawless person. And this is no longer according to concepts - the right guys don’t cause chaos. Those. you are asking a question that he cannot answer, but, according to his own rules, he is obliged to. In chess this is called a “fork” - we attack two pieces with one piece. The only choice the opponent has is which piece to lose.
The point is that it is impossible to admit that the purpose of the tackle was to run him over, as you understand. Gopnik must comply with the laws of thieves' diplomacy and remain within the limits of the law. To remain silent or to leave essentially means to tacitly admit that everything was exactly as it was. And this means lowering yourself in the eyes of your comrades and your own.
This is your clear victory. But no one wants to be defeated, even though such a turn of events is quite likely. Admitting defeat, of course, can be compensated by insults or promises to “see you again” - this is the last attempt to provoke you. We just remain silent.

Don't bend
Do not comply with minor requests under any circumstances - by any standards, you can demand to state the reason first or qualify this as a direct attack. What you should say directly.
-Give me a glass.
– ...
We are silent, we smile. We are waiting for accusations...
– You’re a bastard, aren’t you?
... and go on a counterattack.
- Checking for the Sucker suit? (or: “Do you want to run into me?”)
“I’m asking you like a normal guy.”
You earned a point, it pays off. And in front of everyone he calls you a “normal kid.” One more point.
- Ahh. I'm sorry, i do not understand. On the.

A draw on a foreign field is a victory
If you don’t want to be defeated, then the gopu has only one thing left -
1. or start beating you, which puts him in the category of offenders from the point of view of the law or into the category of lawless people from the point of view of concepts. He doesn’t need this, because the gop just wants to rise at the expense of your humiliation.
2. or “admit” that the goal was different - to get to know each other, communicate, spend time together. That is, to avoid defeat. That's what was required. A draw on a foreign field suits us quite well.
“Fork” - he now chooses only between which option of defeat to accept. Most likely he is not a fool.
– Don’t know me? Well, let's get acquainted.
You can shake paws.

Don't get carried away with winning
If you feel a fracture, then you may well give him the opportunity to rehabilitate himself in your eyes and the eyes of the boys. This is what needs to be done - otherwise the feeling of defeat will most likely lead to a new wave of aggression, which cannot be stopped by the market.
After the acquaintance, however, cycles of the same answers and questions may again follow, and the acquaintance itself was only a trick - you just need to be vigilant and in no case relax. No matter how many such cycles there are, your task is one - not to provide a reason. I repeat - this means:
Don't make excuses.
Don't answer questions.
Don't comply with requests
Do not break into “high” tones - remain polite and calm.
Continue to demand an answer to your question.
Ask “uncomfortable” questions.

Let's smile
Notice - we smile. It is important. This confuses and makes the attacker nervous. This makes him wary and act cautiously - “why is he crushing his face? Maybe he knows what? And he makes himself look like a fool..."

Even...
If you meet complete scumbags, then you won’t have to talk for long. But in reality, such instances are extremely rare - this is a mental pathology. Almost every person has a taboo against unjustified aggression. Those. You always need a reason, no matter how funny or far-fetched. Concepts speak about the same thing.
Even if you suffer, then, firstly, maintain your dignity, respect in the face of your friends and yourself. And even enemies, which means a lot in the future. And, secondly, both the law and concepts are on your side, and you may well demand satisfaction by gaining strength, for example, in the form of support from friends. You are no longer a loser, but a warrior who has just lost a battle, but not the entire war.

Errors
There are two possible strategic mistakes here:
- fear will take over and you will give up, starting to mutter something inarticulate and willingly give away everything that is “asked” of you.
- you will feel like you are on a horse and decide to build on your success by exceeding the permissible dose of hitting - most likely, in this case you will be beaten.

Verification passed
If you don’t make mistakes, and your “opponent” doesn’t leave the battlefield himself, then you may well find new friends, or even better kents.
And if a turning point has already occurred, then maybe you shouldn’t give up on the further development of events - it is likely that you will be offered to drink beer together and have some fun.
It’s not for nothing that this person approached you. Nothing happens by chance in the world.
This often happens - if you pass the test for “toddishness,” you become not only an equal, but also a respected equal. In crowds of gopniks there are usually one or two “real” boys, the rest are sticky. The leader always knows this and, in general, he is not interested in them - they are his own pathetic copies.
Therefore, quite honestly and sincerely, they may want you as a friend.
The choice is yours. If not, then no. They patted each other on the shoulder, and even hugged each other like brothers. The market is over, it's over.

The last and most important rule
(T. Belous, V. Tulyakov)
Did they run into you?!! Instructions
Protection from robbery, hooligan attacks ( Alexander Buryak)

A black knitted cap, a dark sports jacket, loose pants (also usually sporty-looking), sneakers... This trend, in the language of numerous glossy publications, is likely to remain relevant among a certain category of the population forever. The trendsetters of fashion trends in clothing will never be able to introduce any special changes into it. At most, the letter “Y” will appear on the black back, and an eagle with Armani wings will replace the Adidas trefoil. Five psychologists and a former prisoner explained how to behave if you encounter adherents of this fashion on the street, but you can no longer retreat.

Andrey Zberovsky, director of the Andrey Zberovsky Family Psychological Center, Krasnoyarsk:
I was a boxer in my youth and fought a lot on the streets, so I know all this. Firstly, you must behave as confidently as possible - not retreat and turn around. Second: do not allow yourself to be surrounded - do not let anyone behind you. And third, if you see that you can’t handle it, don’t be afraid to grab anything that comes to hand: a stick, a bottle, etc.

Strike first. People are always afraid of those who act unexpectedly and demonstrate that they are ready to go to the end. I've had dozens of fights in the streets, and I didn't lose if I followed these rules.

No need to talk. If you start a conversation, you will automatically lose. They have already calculated all the moves in advance and are ready for any development of the scenario. You are not. It is better to remain silent and say nothing.

And another tip: call on your cell phone or pretend to be talking to someone. You can say: “I’m already approaching.” Or check the number of the nearest house - let’s say you saw house number 36 next to the company and loudly “clarified” on the phone: “What is your number? 36 or 38? Well, come out, I’m already close.” So that those who come across you on the road have an understanding: you are not alone, they can come to your aid and they are not far away.

Igor Lyakh, head of the psychotherapeutic department of the Insight clinic:
If you notice a company from afar, it is better to take a different route. Most people in this situation are ruined by false pride: they say, I am young and strong... If you run well, run. It is better to run away than to deal with painful consequences later.

If conflict is inevitable, and there is little strength, there are several rules: remember that life is always more valuable than any thing. Secondly, we are destroyed by the illusion of our own omnipotence. Don’t be shy to take out your phone, start talking to someone, call the police.

Gopniks don't always attack. But if this does happen, don't hesitate to call for help. And it’s better to have minimal training to protect your head and other vulnerable parts of the body.

You need to behave simply and naturally. Without provocation or aggression. But you shouldn’t show fear either. It is better to answer with simple answers. You have the right not to answer if something is not clear. And you don’t need to promise anything, and don’t say anything that would be regarded as a lie or an attempt to humiliate the interlocutor... Aggression is provoked by pronounced fear and submission or an initial provocation.

Igor Poperechny, director of the Center for Medical Sexology and Psychotherapy:
“Experienced people - “fighters”, I talked with such people, recommend talking calmly, raising your hands and lightly touching the hands of the person you are talking to. This breaks the tension and shows that you are not afraid. But - no sudden movements. On the other hand, no apologetic tone so that they do not feel forceful. As a last resort, run to the store and call your relatives or the police from there.

Many gopniks start a discussion in order to distract. It's like dogs guarding sheep in Asia. The one behind your back always attacks. Sometimes they talk to you so that someone will come behind you and hit you on the head.

I once had a case when I was surrounded by five people. I took out a small knife, showed it and said: “I don’t care what happens to me - you can kill me. But with a knife I will cut someone's artery or vein and he will die. You won't have time to finish me off until I kill someone. Choose which of you wants to die.” And they fell behind.

In general, it’s better to run. I have a friend, a policeman, who, when he asked his son to be taken to the section where he could learn to fight, took his son to the running section. It was a wise decision.

Alexander Butskikh, director of the Center for Psychotherapy of Dr. Butskikh:
The leader must be killed immediately. Figure out who the leader is and destroy him. (Laughs.) The second option is to quickly run away. This is a healthier option for the body. As the samurai say: a battle not allowed is a battle won.

One of my friends, he was such a former bandit-athlete, said: “They are like animals. Everyone feels it." Gopniks “read” you on a non-verbal level: what a person feels, what emotions come from him... If they feel like a victim, it will be difficult.

A drooping head, drooping shoulders, lack of energy in gait, facial expressions, gestures... These are all signs of a gamma male (not a leader - I.K.). The eyes should not run or droop, and the voice should not be timid.

Talking loudly, shouting back, looking intently into the eyes - should not be done. This will be considered a challenge. But they may accept the challenge, and you will have to answer.

Don't rush to approach the shout. Even if you are clearly inferior in strength. Although you shouldn’t openly demonstrate your coolness. Whoever starts must justify his actions.

Do not greet. In prison they don’t shake hands at all, and prison rules are sacred to a Gopnik. You don't have to squeeze the first paw you see. “Or maybe you’re not a kid at all - who knows?” - you hint... He begins to suspect that you know the rules of the game. The main task is to stay within its rules.

Do not make excuses. Under no circumstances answer questions like “I respect you, but...”, “I’m not being rude, but...”. Your “but” will be immediately regarded as weakness. If the following phrase follows: “Why are you making excuses? Do you feel something behind you?”

Smile. It is important. This confuses and makes the attacker nervous. This makes him wary and act cautiously: “Why is he crushing his face? Maybe he knows what? And he makes himself look like a fool.”

If you meet complete scumbags, then you won’t have to talk for long. But in reality, such instances are extremely rare - this is a mental pathology. Almost every person has a taboo against unjustified aggression. That is, you always need a reason, even the most ridiculous or far-fetched one.

At the end, Vitaly remarked: “The main rule is not to turn around. Either don’t start at all, or, once you start, don’t give up. Remember Russian fairy tales: don’t turn around. Whoever turns around loses.”

Rabbits and boa constrictors: Their weapon is our fear.
Our fear is because we do not know the rules by which “that” world operates. But we certainly respect them. Because these are the rules of the strong - concepts. We respect the world of the strong, the world of thieves and authorities. But direct access there is closed; the full set of concepts is not accessible to a mere mortal. We obviously accept them, but we do not know their principles and norms. This is where the dog is buried. We accept the rules of the game without knowing them. Naturally, a more or less “blamed” freak, even with a measly income, knowing a couple of “tricks”, will beat you in no time. Because you agreed to play by his rules. And a person who voluntarily agreed to play by rules that he does not know is called a sucker
Who are Gopniks?
The word, as it should be understood, comes from the famous “gop-stop” - which in Fen means robbery or robbery, i.e. open possession of material assets. Robbery - with weapons, robbery - without.
Gopniks are not exactly criminals. They walk a fine line - at first they “run into” the victim with a “bazaar”, probe him, cause fear and confusion. Moreover, this is done without a direct threat of violence - from the outside it will seem that the gopnik is all politeness, and you, on the contrary, are a nervous, unbalanced, or even completely aggressive type. As a result of such a hit, the victim, as a rule, gives up his property himself - usually small money, mobile phones, watches. Although this is not the main thing for a gopnik - he may not take anything from you. It is important for him to feel his superiority. Make you afraid of him.
Read:

Everything is often on the verge of a “joke”, a conversation “in terms of concepts”, so then during a showdown you can always say - he gave it to me himself. This is often confirmed by the victim herself:
- Well, yes, I gave it to them myself...
- Why?
- I don’t know...
– Did they threaten you? They said that they would beat you and take you away?
- No, they didn’t threaten. Well there... well, they said who he is in life...
-Then why did you give it to them?
- Don't know…
If you are in the police, then the officer begins to get nervous, or even go berserk, and, in the end, tries to get rid of you. There are no legal grounds. If there is a showdown among the lads, then you get the status of a sucker. And getting it from a sucker is a sacred thing for a gopnik. He's a kid, you're a sucker. Conceptually, he is right. The conversation is over.
How to answer questions like: “Hey, come here!”
This is a direct invitation to war - i.e. the war is already underway. Psychological. The main thing is not to be afraid and not to rush to approach, even if you are clearly inferior in strength. Although you shouldn’t openly demonstrate your coolness. Whoever starts must justify his actions. Therefore, if you are only being probed in this way, then you need to take the “conversation” in a different direction.
So, depending on the situation, you stop or turn around, in a word, express some interest. Don't come.
- Hey, come here, I said!
Answers like “come here yourself” are not suitable, as you understand, unless you are a boxing champion.
You're standing.
They come up to you. Scary.
- Don’t you hear? (frostbitten, swollen...)
Don't pay attention, freeze, like, further:
- Can I help you?
We're not suckers
If your “conversation” did not begin with a direct provocation like the one described above, then usually the gopnik will extend his hand to you when he meets - he greets you like a kid. This obliges you to be moderately polite and answer the first questions. Which is what he is trying to achieve. This is one of the main tricks of a gopnik - after such a gesture of “good will” he gets the right to “fairly” be indignant that you, for example, do not want to communicate with him. Plus, he immediately creates an alibi for himself - “I approached him like a boy, they shook him with his claws. Was it like that!?” - “Well, yes...” - “And people over there saw it. And then he started showing off for me...” 1:0 in favor of the gop. We break it off at the very beginning. It is very difficult to withstand - the look and the hand extended to you. The stencils of politeness are driven deep into us. The hand reaches out on its own. Let's hold on. Let's look it in the face. We smile.
- Who are you?
I know that this is difficult, especially if your opponent is clearly stronger than you or there is a crowd behind him. But you HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO THIS. A good guy will not shake hands with the first person he meets without first knowing who is in front of him. In prison they don’t shake hands at all, for example - and the rules of the prison are sacred to a Gopnik. And you don't have to press the first paw you see. “Or maybe you’re not a kid at all - who knows,” you hint. But you are hinting that he has no right to accuse you of anything. And besides, suspicions creep in that you know the rules of the game. Your main task is to remain within the framework of HIS rules, to break off the gopnik using his own methods - you should not appeal to universal morality and quote the Constitution. This is the trump card of the gopnik, that he imposes his rules on you and forces you to play by them on his field. So that's what we do - we play the proposed game with a serious look.
Continued on page 2