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1 Conversation at a summer health camp: “Know how to value friendship!” Prepared by: social teacher MAOU Lyceum 102 Perezhogina I.N. Goal: introducing children to the rules of friendship. Objectives: 1) show the importance of true friends in a person’s life; 2) teach goodwill and condescension, the desire to understand each other; 3) teach to share the joys and sorrows of friends. Questionnaire: (conducted in advance, the most successful answers from the guys are read out) 1. Do you have a friend? 2. What character traits and qualities of your friend do you value? 3. Is your friend ready to sacrifice his interests if your business and your well-being require it? 4. What offenses could you forgive your friend? 5. What could you not forgive him for? 6. Do you always tell your friend the truth? 7. Are you always principled in your friendship? Can you speak out against a friend if he is wrong? 8. Does friendship help you in life and in your studies? 9. Can friendship make a person better, rid him of his shortcomings? Host: The topic of our conversation: “Know how to value friendship!” Therefore, today we will talk about friendship. At all times and among all peoples, friendship, loyalty and devotion were highly valued. “Whoever does not seek friendship with loved ones is his own sworn enemy,” wrote Shota Rustaveli in the 7th century. There is no people who do not have legends, proverbs and

2 sayings about friendship. In friendly work, in common recreation, in general in living together, in mutual assistance, the people saw strength. Let's try to remember proverbs about friendship. I'll start, you continue. 1. All for one, and one for.. (all). 2. From the world by thread - naked.. (shirt). 3. Seven of one (not waiting). 4. Alone in the field (not a warrior). 5. An old friend is better.. (new two). 6. If you don’t have a friend, look for him, but you found him... (take care). 7. Where there is harmony, there is.. (treasure). Host: You see how many proverbs people have made about friendship, and this is only a small part. Now listen to the sayings about friendship and explain their meaning: 1. A cowardly friend is more dangerous than an enemy (in difficult times, a cowardly friend can get scared and let you down). 2. A good horse will find many owners, a good man will find many friends (many will want to buy a good horse, and many will want to make friends with a good man. 3. An unfaithful friend is like a fur coat with holes (it is cold in a fur coat with holes in the cold, but an unfaithful friend will let you down in difficult times). situations). near a tree, the better it can withstand bad weather, the stronger human friendship, the easier a person can bear the blows of fate.) 6. Friendship is like glass: if you break it, you can’t put it back together (you can’t put broken glass in a window. If you offend a friend, you can lose him forever).

3 7. Friendship is different from friendship - no matter what (when friends quarrel and do not know how to be friends or have a bad influence on one another, then such friendship only leads to harm). 8. Mountains and stones are destroyed by the wind, human friendship - in a word (hurtful and unfair words can destroy friendship, so you need to be very careful when criticizing your friend, talk delicately and inoffensively about your friends’ shortcomings). 9. If you want friendship, be a friend (when you yourself learn to be friends, then friends will appear. Each person appreciates the good qualities of a friend in another). Host: The word “friendship” in its meaning is closely related to such a concept as family closeness. Friendship presupposes mutual assistance and emotional intimacy, i.e. similarity of feelings, experiences. This is what the great William Shakespeare said about friendship: “A true friend is always faithful in good and bad; Your sadness worries him. You don’t sleep - he can’t sleep, and he’s ready to help you in everything without further words.” What kind of friend do you think can be called a real one? How would you like your friend to be? What would you want from a friend? (The results of the questionnaire are announced) Host: From your answers we can conclude that little is required from a friend: understanding. A little?! But think about how many different components we include in this concept.

4 They look for loyalty from a friend, they look for support from a friend - help in difficult times. They go to a friend with joy - he will share it with you. A friend will understand your cherished dreams and keep your secrets. But is it possible to imagine a friend as envious? And arrogant? What other words are not compatible with the concept of “friendship”? (student responses) Presenter: A friend cannot be angry and narcissistic. Also, greed and boastfulness, vanity and arrogance, pettiness and callousness are not combined with the concept of “friendship”. Friend is always serious. Anyone who wants to be friends must learn how to do this. And you have to start with yourself. You must find the answer within yourself - are you ready to meet a friend? The conversation with yourself should be honest: am I interesting to myself, am I bored with myself? Can I handle myself? After all, it is with what is contained in a person that he comes out to people; only with his human qualities can he earn friendship. We conducted a test that helped you determine whether you have a good character? Now I will announce its results. Test “Do you have a good character” 1. Do you think that many of your friends have a bad character? 2. Do everyday small responsibilities irritate you? 3. Do you believe that your friends are loyal to you? 4. Do you like it when an unfamiliar peer tells you: “Hey, you, come here.” 5. Are you capable of hitting a cat or dog? 6. Do you often get sick? 7. Do you often want to change the desk at which you sit?

5 8. Do you continue to defend your point of view, realizing that it is a mistake? 9. Do social responsibilities weigh you down? 10. Are you able to wait more than five minutes for a late friend without showing impatience? 11. Does the thought of your bad luck often occur to you? 12. Have you saved your childhood toys? 13. Can you accept the banter of your friends with a smile? 14. Do you like being with your family? 15. Are you vindictive? 16. Do you happen to be in a bad mood in the morning? 17. Does classical music irritate you? 18. Does the presence of strangers in your home irritate you and stay with you for more than an hour? Processing of results: Give yourself one point for a positive answer to questions: 3, 9, 10, 13, 14; one point for each negative answer to questions: 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 15, 16, 17, 18. Count the points. Over 15 points - you have an easy-going character and are filled with a desirable attitude towards people. From 8 to 15 points - you are not without shortcomings, but you can still get along with you. Below 8 points - you can sympathize with your friends. (The test is carried out in advance) Presenter: Some guys like to command, they demand that everyone listen only to their opinion, and obey them unquestioningly. In this regard, listen to A. Barto’s poem “A Friend is Needed” “Everyone lives - they don’t grieve,

6 but they are not friends with me! Katya has a painted bow, red tights and a meek character. I whisper: “Be friends with me, we are the same age, we are almost like sisters, we are like two doves from the same shell.” I whisper: “But remember, you must make concessions to your friend in everything.” I propose to Ilyina - you are the only one to be friends with me! Ilyina has a category - both a sports sweater and a retinue of girls. If I make friends with Ilyina, I will become famous! Svetlova Nadya has all fives to one. I ask: - Make friends with me at least for a day! You and I will get along. Will you save me - let me write off the test. And the girls are on their hind legs! They say: Be silent! Don't get on your knees and persuade your friends

7 I’ll write an advertisement: a friend is urgently needed! Host: Sometimes you meet a sociable, attentive and friendly person. He gives advice, makes you laugh, and persuades you. But calling him a friend is hard to come by. He, like the heroine of the poem, thinks only of himself. True friendship begins with sensitivity to another, with the ability to put oneself in a friend’s place. But it happens that the habit of going to the movies together, meeting to listen to music, or preparing homework together is passed off as friendship. Such relationships can rather be called comradely. Let's try to clarify the concepts: friend, comrade, buddy, peer. A friend is a person close to you in spirit, in convictions, on whom you can rely in everything. A comrade is a person close to you by occupation, occupation, and conditions. A friend is a person with whom you have a good, simple, but not very close relationship. A peer is a person of the same age as you, i.e. peer, same age, same year. Every person does not have many true friends. Take care of your friends. There is an opinion that friends are made in trouble, in difficult times. We will find many examples of this in the literature. This is how the poet Vladimir Vysotsky checked his friends: (V. Vysotsky’s “Song about a Friend” sounds) Host: However, there is another opinion about friendship, which, it seems to me, is no less fair. Friendship is tested not only by troubles, but also by everyday little things. Moreover, the test of small things is perhaps more difficult.

8 For some reason, it is precisely because of trifles, because of misunderstandings, that relationships most often break down: injustice, inattention, forgetfulness, non-obligation - how many expressed and unspoken grievances and sorrows lie behind them. Because of them, it happens that seemingly strong relationships are torn. Take care of your friends! Choose them slowly, but be even less in a hurry to part with them. You can give to a friend all the warmth of your soul. He gave everything away - he became richer; what he saved, he lost. Only he is rich not for a year - forever, who preserves friendship like a priceless treasure. Only he who, not for a year, is happy forever, is the one who honestly carries friendship through the years. Host: And remember, friends are created in youth, then it becomes more and more difficult to make friends. Summary: So, guys, what did we talk about today? So what should a friend be like?

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Ethical conversation is a method of systematic and consistent discussion involving the participation of both parties; counselor and children. A conversation differs from a story or instruction precisely in that the teacher listens and takes into account the opinions and points of view of his interlocutors, and builds his relationships with them on the principles of equality and cooperation. Ethical conversation is called because its subject most often becomes moral, moral, and ethical problems.

The effectiveness of ethical conversations depends on compliance with a number of important conditions:

1. It is important that the conversation be problematic in nature and involve a struggle of views, ideas, and opinions. It is advisable for the counselor to stimulate non-standard questions and help children find answers to them themselves.
2. An ethical conversation should not be allowed to develop according to a pre-prepared scenario with memorization of ready-made or prompted answers by adults. We need to give the guys the opportunity to say what they think. Teach them to respect the opinions of others, patiently and reasonedly develop the correct point of view.
3. The conversation should also not be allowed to turn into a lecture: The counselor speaks, the children listen. Only openly expressed opinions and doubts allow the counselor to direct the conversation so that the children themselves come to a correct understanding of the essence of the issue being discussed. Success depends on how warm the nature of the conversation is and whether the children reveal their souls in it.
4. The material for the conversation should be close to the emotional experience of the students. One cannot expect or require them to be active when discussing difficult issues or those that are based on facts, phenomena, connected by alien events and feelings that are incomprehensible to them. Only when based on real experience can conversations on abstract topics be successful.
5. During the conversation, it is important to identify and compare all points of view. No one's opinion can be ignored; it is important from all points of view - objectivity, fairness, culture of communication.
6. Properly guiding an ethical conversation is about helping clients come to the right conclusion on their own. To do this, the counselor needs to be able to look at events or actions through the eyes of the ward, understand his position and the feelings associated with it.

It is a mistake to think that conversation is a spontaneous method.

Of course, experienced counselors do not conduct conversations often and prepare for them thoroughly. Ethical conversations are structured according to approximately the following scenario: communication of specific factors, explanation of these factors and their analysis with the active participation of all interlocutors; discussion of specific similar situations; generalization of the most significant features of specific moral qualities and comparing them with previously acquired knowledge, motivation and formulation of a moral rule; application by wards of learned concepts when assessing their behavior and the behavior of other people.

In the junior units of the children's camp, ethical conversation has a simpler structure. Here the inductive path is preferable: from the analysis of specific facts, their assessment to generalization and independent conclusion. In middle and senior groups, the conversation can begin with the formulation of a moral rule and, for illustration, use specific material from life and fiction.

The methodological recommendations for conducting ethical conversations proposed in this article may be useful for counselors of junior units.

Conducting ethical conversations includes:

• preparatory stage;
• conducting a conversation;
• organization and assessment of children’s daily activities and relationships based on learned moral norms and rules.

The preparatory stage includes a variety of activities of the counselor. There may be various options for preparing for the conversation, the following can be recommended:

1. Depending on the age of the wards, the level of development of the children's team and moral problems, the topic of the conversation is determined.
2. The purpose of the conversation is to master certain norms and concepts that children must understand; those practical conclusions that will be drawn.
3. A selection of factual material that tells how to act, what to do.
4. Questions for the conversation are thought through.

Conducting a conversation requires great skill from the counselor. The main requirement is to ensure that children are active during the conversation itself. The counselor does the right thing who, after conducting a conversation, asks questions, gives vivid examples, makes brief convincing comments, guides and clarifies the children’s statements, and does not allow incorrect thoughts to take hold.

When conducting a conversation based on the material you have read, it is very important to be able to ask questions. Questions should touch the mind and feelings of children, force them to turn to facts, examples, and events in their surrounding life.

The sequence of questions should lead children to the derivation of a moral rule that must be followed when communicating with other people and performing their duties. When asking questions in conversations on moral topics, you can adhere to the following recommendations:

1. The question should direct children's attention to the moral side of life, actions, phenomena hidden behind the objective actions of people.
2. The question should force the child to think about the motives of the action, to see the complex relationship between the motive and the result of the action.
3. The question should force children to see the moral consequences of any action for other people.
4. The question should draw children's attention to the internal experiences of people, teach the child to learn about the human condition by external signs, understand this condition and, therefore, empathize.

Questions that would help children connect what they read with their own moral experience and their collective experiences are very important.

Ethical conversations with children should take place in a relaxed atmosphere. They should not be of a moralizing nature, contain edifications, reproaches and ridicule. Children express their opinions and freely share their impressions.

Ethical conversations with younger children should include an element of fun. To do this, it is advisable to include in the content of conversations various situations that contain a moral problem. It is very important that the object of public opinion be the positive actions of children and public opinion should not be directed only to actions associated with poor discipline. The development of public opinion occurs through the introduction of new and adjustments to existing moral concepts, teaching children the rules for discussing and evaluating events in collective life, and the actions of individual children. The developed rules for the life of the children's group act as criteria for moral assessment.

Various options for the sequence of ethical conversations are possible; the following can be recommended:

1. Determining the topic of the conversation and arousing children’s interest in perceiving and assimilating the material.
2. Justification of the relevance and significance of the topic under discussion.
3. Disclosure of the topic of conversation using the example of the life and work of outstanding people, as well as material from the surrounding life.
4. Analysis of the state of affairs in the classroom in connection with the problem under discussion and identification of specific tasks (advice, recommendations) to improve the work and behavior of students.
5. Summarizing the results of the conversation and a brief survey of the students on the main points of the material presented.

Of course, the specified structure of the conversation should not turn into a stencil. As in educational work in general, so in conducting a conversation there cannot be stencils or recipes for all occasions. However, the more such recipes a teacher knows, the more chances he has of implementing them. They do not limit the creative activity of the counselor, but stimulate it.

When defining a topic at the beginning of a conversation, it is necessary to arouse children’s interest in perceiving and assimilating ethical material.

To do this, you can use the following techniques:

1. raise questions related to clarifying the essence of the moral concept that underlies the content of the conversation. For example, what is politeness, etc.;
2. before announcing the topic, you can talk about some interesting event or fact related to the intended topic;
3. before announcing the topic, you need to remember some incident from squad life, which allows you to justify the need for in-depth disclosure and understanding of the corresponding moral norm;
4. Having announced the topic, try to give it special importance and emphasize its significance with the help of a meaningful statement.

The method of presenting moral material can combine a question-and-answer form, a story and explanation from the teacher, short reports from students on certain issues, etc. In this case, the main role remains with the teacher, since only he can deeply and skillfully reveal the essence of morality.

When analyzing children’s behavior, it is best to focus on positive examples and facts, and talk about shortcomings in a favorable tone, emphasizing in every possible way your confidence that the children will eliminate them.

Summarizing the results of the conversation, vivid statements should be given so that the conversation penetrates deeper into the consciousness and feelings of the children. Clearly highlight the categories that constituted the purpose of the conversation.

First conversation

It has always been unclear and interesting to me how music arises, what the composer thinks about when he composes it.

I think that you have to be a special person, with unusual thinking and a bright personality, a bright and kind soul, a kind of magician. Because only a wizard or magician can hear, organize, build sounds in such an order to create music that could excite, delight us, and give pleasure.

After all, there are so many sounds and noises that surround us in everyday life, some irritate us, while others we are simply accustomed to and do not notice.

Let's do a little experiment with you guys. Each of you will try to become a composer. And it doesn’t matter that you can’t yet know the notes, you won’t be able to record the sounds you hear, converting them into notes and turning them into music. You are not wizards yet, you are still learning... You will be able to reproduce sounds, it is not at all difficult.

Close your eyes for a moment and sit quietly, listening to the sounds and noises around us...

What did you hear? There are a lot of them, right? These include the footsteps of passers-by, the rustling of leaves on the trees, the singing of birds, the creaking of a door, the voices of children playing happily in the street... and much, much more. Let's try to reproduce all this on our musical instruments: wooden spoons, triangles, metallophones, rattles, etc.

Now let’s put the instruments aside and try to write down what we heard and depict it on paper.

To do this, you will need a blank sheet of paper, pencils or paints. Your drawings should not be simple, but speaking, that is, sounding.

Second conversation.

And now I suggest you guys play musicians. But first, let’s talk a little about the musical instruments that you will play, and also get acquainted with a brief history of their origin.

Let's begin our acquaintance with the simplest instrument, which is known to every civilized person, regardless of age, nationality and place of residence. We use this tool several times a day, just in a different application. Can you guess what instrument we are talking about? Of course, about spoons. You guys didn’t know how to walk yet, and your mothers were already teaching you how to use a spoon correctly.

In music you are currently taking, or rather, trying to take your first steps. Therefore, I would like to start getting acquainted with musical instruments with what is more accessible and understandable to you, that is, with the simplest.

When the first spoon appeared, history is modestly silent. It is only known that very long ago and in the beginning, spoons were made of wood. The spoon is considered a percussion instrument. Although it is quite difficult to imagine this tool as a percussion instrument. I immediately remember a children’s joke: a grandfather and grandson are sitting at the table, eating. The grandfather suddenly hits his grandson on the forehead with a spoon.

For what, grandfather? - the grandson says dumbfounded, rubbing the bruised area with his hand.

“Don’t slurp at the table,” the grandfather answers, continuing to eat calmly. After some time, the grandfather again suddenly unexpectedly hits the boy on the forehead with a spoon.

It hurts, grandpa! Now why did you hit me? - the grandson asks his grandfather with resentment and tears in his eyes.

The grandfather, after a short silence, answered with a sigh:

Yes, I remembered how you slurp while eating...

Spoons are considered a native Russian folk musical instrument. Two ordinary wooden spoons hit each other with their convex sides, resulting in a clear, ringing sound.

Creative task: musical and rhythmic improvisation.

Let's try to perform the Russian folk melody “I went up the hill” on spoons.

After an educational conversation with a child, you often need to go to the mirror and say: “This concerns you too.”

“General rules” are well-defined principles of the technique of interaction between a counselor and a pupil, forming a psychological, moral background against which any conversation takes place. The core of this background is the personality of the counselor, his authority in the eyes of the child, and his pedagogical position. The principles of human behavior in interpersonal contacts, formulated by D. Carnegie, are the ABC of necessary ethical standards.

Principles of interaction between counselor and child

1. A person must be genuinely interested in other people.
2. Understand what your interlocutor wants.
3. Show respect for the opinion of your interlocutor.
4. Try sincerely to see things from the other person's point of view.
5. Be sympathetic to the thoughts and desires of children.
6. Let your interlocutor do most of the talking.
7. Ask your interlocutor questions, thereby ensuring that the student himself evaluates his own action or behavior.
8. Let your interlocutor believe that this thought belongs to him.
9. Frequently commend your children on their smallest successes and celebrate their every success. Be honest in your assessment
10. Give your children a good reputation that they will try to live up to.
11. Give people the opportunity to save their prestige.
12. Appeal to nobler motives.
13. Dramatize your ideas, touch a nerve, present them effectively.
14. From the very beginning of the conversation, maintain a friendly tone.
15. The only way to win an argument is to avoid it.
16. Make your interlocutor answer “yes.”
17. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and decisively.
18. Start the conversation with praise and sincere recognition of the dignity of the interlocutor.
19. If you want people to like you, smile. A smile costs nothing, but gives a lot. It lasts a moment, but sometimes remains in the memory forever.
20. A person's name is the sweetest and most important sound for him in any language.

The principles of D. Carnegie subtly dictate the requirements for the pedagogical position of the counselor, the methodology of individual conversation with the child. Each such conversation is a very gentle and at the same time responsible “touch to the soul”, penetration into the inner world of the child.

Let's remember: at different age stages, children’s problems are different, and therefore the conversation should be conducted in a differentiated manner. There are three main age groups in the camp: kids, younger teenagers, older teenagers. The peculiarity of their behavior is associated with leading basic psychosocial needs, with dominants that determine motivation, the structure of internal problems and, consequently, ways to eliminate them (forms of self-help).

It is impossible to understand a child’s behavior, much less change it, if we do not recognize the nature of his needs and satisfy them. A need is like thirst, like hunger: until it is satisfied, the child will not behave correctly, socially acceptable.

The structure of human needs is as follows:

• younger age - the need for protection, safety;
• younger teenagers (average age in the camp, 10-13 years) - the need for recognition, respect, a certain social status among peers;
• older teenager - the need for meaning in life (i.e. life goals, values, ideals for which it is worth living);
• adolescence and adulthood - the need for self-realization, self-realization.

In addition, a person at all times feels the need for health, joy (pleasure), and happiness. A natural basic need is the need for knowledge and activity. Numerous other needs are secondary and follow from the basic ones.

Knowledge of the leading needs gives the counselor a methodological key to building individual interaction with the child, including the technique of individual conversation.

Conversation with kids

The youngest child lives in a relationship of predominantly emotional, completely unconscious experiences. If relationships are rich, varied, filled with positive emotions, then the child develops fully: he is cheerful, active, open, kind, and kind. If the relationship is incomplete and he feels the alienation of those around him: he is scolded, dissatisfied with him, he is not caressed, and the child, like a flower without moisture and the warmth of the sun, dries, withers, and shrinks. Resentment and pain grow within him, which sooner or later will turn into anger and aggression, which at first glance is unmotivated.

It is useless to give numerous tips - the baby will not remember them. One thing is necessary: ​​to slowly, patiently change the child’s attitude towards himself - to raise his self-esteem, instill a sense of strength, increase self-confidence and at the same time - teach the necessary, constructive way of behavior. The tool of “influence” in this case is suggestion. Exercises (training) with further ongoing support. An approximate algorithm of actions is as follows:

• Identify the child’s problems, his hidden mental defenses. Irresponsibility, imbalance of the nervous system. It will be necessary to study as thoroughly as possible the conditions of upbringing in the family, behavioral stereotypes, and health status.
• Identify the obstacle (most often it is associated with low self-esteem) and begin to adjust your self-attitude and instill the necessary model of behavior.
• Organize a change in the attitudes of others. The child made friends, the guys took him to their team.
• Support constructive behavior: praise at the right time, fix the attention of peers on success, no matter how small. Involve your roommates and squadmates in the process.
• Give individual assignments that the child can do and that correspond to his abilities, interests, and inclinations (this is good training for constructive behavior). “Organize success” in a task that is difficult for a child. Especially in his activities in the camp.
• For “insurance”, involve him in activities at the camp, in clubs, where success and skill are consolidated.

Conversation with a younger teenager

In adolescence, the stage of family development is passed, the field of social self-affirmation expands, family values ​​and forms of self-affirmation are re-evaluated. New ways of behavior have to be learned on the fly, in victories and defeats. A teenager is an experimenter against his will. Bruises and bumps (including mental ones) are constant, and although not visible, they are very painful. A teenager often feels worthless, helpless and lonely.

Peers become the reference group, the standard of self-identification - the world is merciless and cruel, different from the family, with its love and support from parents. Here you need to win recognition yourself. You need will, knowledge, physical strength, but they are not enough. Watch younger teenagers in the game, how fiercely they argue, scream, and blame each other. They compete all the time, testing each other's strength. Development is difficult and painful. Subjectivity is born in a teenager, the “I-concept” and self-awareness are formed. This means that our own assessments, norms, criteria, standards and samples arise.

Development moves into the stage of self-development, education - into the process of self-education. And this is normal, these changes need to be supported and stimulated. At this age, it is especially unacceptable to humiliate, insult, or undermine a teenager’s self-esteem: a sense of self-esteem matures in him, which can be called conscience, honor, spirituality, which constitutes the core of the personality, its morality, and social value. This is the general pattern of adolescent development, which indicates the tactics of the counselor’s behavior.

Starting a conversation with a younger teenager should immediately remove the semantic barrier and establish trust. There should be no threats or accusations here under any circumstances. The expression on your face, tone, and first phrases should dispel fear and tension. Let your child understand that your attitude towards him has not changed for the worse. The first words could be: “I understand you, you defended your dignity in front of your friends,” “You did the right thing, you didn’t chicken out, you didn’t remain silent, you began to act...”, “A similar incident happened to me...”

The words may be different, but behind them there should always be your faith in the child’s good intentions: "I know you wanted justice..."

Try to have your teenager tell you about the event. During the story, ask clarifying questions so that the child names his true actions: “hit”, “took without asking (stole)”, “answered rudely, disrespectfully”, etc. To achieve such a story - to convey what happened in honest and direct words - means that the child has assessed himself, punished himself, and admitted guilt. This is self-education. Ask: how does the child evaluate his own behavior? You move on - seek an honest, objective assessment - the most important meaning and purpose of the conversation.

After that, retell the events. Speak calmly, dispassionately, calling a spade a spade: “started a fight,” “disrupted an event,” “insulted a counselor,” etc. Then give your assessment of what happened. Even to the point of listing the articles of the Criminal Code under which the child’s offense would fall if he were an adult.

Compare the two assessments, the child’s and yours, which will help to finally clarify the essence of the matter. In this part of the conversation, the child must admit his guilt. If he is not guilty and the counselor is wrong, admit your guilt, otherwise the conversation is meaningless and will even negatively affect your relationship with the child.

Perhaps the most important stage of the conversation is the search with the child for socially acceptable models of behavior. At this stage, there is training in self-analysis and the search for optimal behavior. And although this is a joint action, it is important that the teenager makes the decision himself. And the counselor will only have to praise him for his wisdom and common sense, and give behavioral guidelines for the future.

As a result of the conversation, emphasize the teenager’s intelligence, maturity, and express confidence that next time he will not make a mistake, because from now on he will think before doing anything.

Say the key phrase: “I believe that you will not allow this to happen in the future and such a conversation will no longer be needed. Let's forget about him." All. Your relationship is not destroyed; you have given the teenager the opportunity to maintain his image, high self-esteem, and self-esteem. And this is the path to creative, constructive behavior and lifestyle.

Conversation with an older teenager

The leading need of older adolescence is for meaning in life. A young man is looking for the highest values ​​of existence: goals, ideals, standards of existence. How to live? For what? What to be? These are the questions to which, consciously or unconsciously, a young man is looking for answers. Before his own “I” and before people, he must make his choice.

It’s good to have conversations “about life” with older teenagers on a hike, around a campfire, about a smart movie or book. To adults they may seem abstract and unnecessary, but young people need them like air.

What are the rules for building a conversation with an older teenager?

the main objective- lead the interlocutor to a sincere reconsideration of the goals and values ​​for which the action was performed. Evidence of sincerity: experience, repentance, words of apology. As always, start the conversation with an acknowledgment of dignity and an expression of trust: “I know that you were looking for justice, the truth...”, “I believe that you sought to act honestly...”, “I thank you for frankly expressing what you think...”, “Perhaps I If I were you, I would act the same way..."

It is very important to hear from a teenager the words: “Yes,” “Yes, it’s true,” “Yes, I wanted the best.” These are already points of contact that help relieve the defensive reaction.

Use such a technique as an appeal to the opinions of others.

Involve people significant to the young person in the conversation.

In a conversation with an older teenager, try to build a dialogue logically, with reasoning, to call things by their proper names: meanness - meanness, theft - theft. Try to get the young man to directly and unambiguously evaluate his action. Honest confession and repentance is a step towards correction. If a young person evades honest self-assessment, then the counselor himself must directly and unambiguously give a moral and social description of the action. This does not mean that punishment must necessarily follow. On the contrary, after such a tense and difficult conversation, an appeal to the student’s mind is necessary: ​​“Think at your leisure...”

Sometimes one emotional argument is enough. The duration of the conversation and the number of words depend on this.

How to end a conversation is very important. The most important thing is to give the young man the opportunity to “save face”, his image among friends, significant adults and in his own eyes. It is impossible for a student to feel “beaten up.” Insight, purification, triumph of overcoming oneself - this is the state that your interlocutor should feel. Following the advice of D. Carnegie, the counselor should do his best to ensure that the young pupil is happy to do what you offer him, what you have agreed to do together.

Achieving expressive pedagogical technique is only one of the steps to pedagogical mastery. A technique without awareness of the tasks of pedagogical action, without understanding the motives of children’s activities, the true essence of the results of interaction will remain an empty form, a meaningless unprofessional action. And mastering its techniques can be carried out in the context of improving the general pedagogical culture of the counselor.

Rules of communication

Rules of Persuasion

In an individual conversation with a child, use the following rules of persuasion:

• The order of the arguments presented affects their persuasiveness. The most convincing order is: strong - medium - strongest. (Homer).
• To get a positive decision on an issue that is important to you, put it in third place, prefacing it with two short, simple questions for the interlocutor, to which he will answer “yes” without difficulty. (Socrates).
• Don't drive your interlocutor into a corner. Give him the opportunity to save “face” (Pascal).
• The persuasiveness of arguments largely depends on the image/status of the persuader.
• Don't drive yourself into a corner, don't lower your status. Don't belittle your interlocutor's status.
• We treat the arguments of a pleasant interlocutor with condescension, and we treat the arguments of an unpleasant interlocutor with prejudice.
• If you want to convince, start not with the points that divide you, but with the points on which you agree with your opponent.
• Show empathy.
• Be a good listener.
• Check whether you understand your interlocutor correctly.
• Avoid conflict agents.
• Watch your facial expressions, gestures and postures – yours and your interlocutor’s.
• Show that what you offer satisfies some of the needs of the interlocutor.

I am a statement

I feel…

• Use words that accurately describe your feelings.
• Don't exaggerate your feelings.
• Don't use sacrificial words.

When I)…

• Describe behavior accurately (behavior is what you see and hear, not what you think it is).
• Don't use hurtful words.

Because (I)…

• Be as specific as possible.
• Focus on how it affects you.
• Do not exaggerate the effect, as this causes a defensive or skeptical reaction.
• Don't use words that sound good but are not true.

If we are angry or upset, we usually first of all blame others for everything that happened.

The “You statement” (so called because when using it, a person only blames his opponent) is very rarely effective, and does not help people who decide to resolve the conflict that has arisen. You can achieve much more impact by using the I Statement. Using the “I-statement”, the speaker describes his feelings that arose for one reason or another, and explains what exactly hurt him.

The “I-statement” and the “You-statement” have completely different effects on the listener. A “you statement” can make the listener feel that he is being judged, blamed, and generally considered an unworthy person. The accused may become so carried away on the defensive that he does not even have the opportunity to understand the opponent’s position and think about what lesson can be learned from what happened. Because the I-statement is based on the speaker's wants, needs, and concerns, the listener will feel much less unfairly accused. Thanks to this, he will have the opportunity to analyze what he is told.

Formally, the “I-statement” consists of 4 parts:

• "I feel…"[Describe your feelings]
• "when I)…"[Describe a specific situation]
• "because (I)..."[Describe the effect the incident had on you]
• “next time I would like to...”[Tell me what you would do to make the situation better for you in the future]

In practice, the “I-statement” is compiled depending on the situation: if necessary, you can change the order of the parts or include not all parts. However, it is very important to remember that the I Statement is always focused on the speaker, not the listener, and should reflect the speaker's feelings rather than blaming the listener.

Perhaps the most difficult part of using the I Statement is actually remembering that it exists. At the peak of emotions, most of us tend to blame and condemn the opponent before realizing the need to abandon the perception of only our own feelings and needs. Remember that in the beginning, everyone needs practice using this tool before you automatically use the I Statement in a conflict situation.

Listening Skills

• A well-posed question stimulates the opponent to come to her own conclusions, rather than directing her to yours. "How did you feel during this?" - such a question gives endless possibilities of answers. Whereas the question: “Did you feel comfortable during this?” - will reduce the possibility of answers to “yes” and “no”. The first formulation of the question opens a window for discussion, the second closes it.
• Put the question positively. It is better not to ask: “Why did this not produce the desired results?”, but to ask: “What problems will we need to overcome?”
• It is useful to prepare questions in advance and know when you will ask them. Questions often serve as bridges and introductions.

ASKING QUESTIONS:

1. Plan your questions. You should have an idea of ​​when and what you will ask during the conversation.
2. Know the purpose of every question you ask.
3. Move from more general to more specific questions.
4. Each question asked should relate to one topic.
5. Keep the question short, clear and easy to understand.
6. Make logical transitions between questions.
7. Avoid questions that have “yes” or “no” answers.
8. When asking a question, do not interrupt the person answering.

ANSWERING QUESTIONS:

1. Make sure you understand the intent and content of the question.
2. Repeat the question and paraphrase it to make sure you understand it correctly.
3. Try to answer the question completely and accurately.
4. Anticipate possible questions and plan your answers.
5. Don't ignore questions. If you can't answer right away, promise to come back to this question later.
6. Don't hide if you don't know the answer.

AVOID:

• Don't answer questions without turning a deaf ear.
• Show that you think the question is stupid or inappropriate.
• Distort questions.
• Avoid the topic.
• Answer several questions at once.
• Ask questions that will put people on the defensive.
• Frequently ask questions that can only be answered with “yes” or “no.”

QUESTION TYPES (closed)

Closed-ended questions - these questions can be answered “yes” or “no”, or give a short direct answer:

Do you agree with these conclusions? - What time is it now?

Clarifying questions - promote better understanding, include paraphrasing the information received:

Did I understand correctly that..? - You said that the important point for you is..?

Questions with the right to choose - provide the opportunity for the interlocutor to give different answers:

Do you want to sleep on a bed near the window or against the wall? - Will we meet again this evening or tomorrow morning?

Evaluative questions - contain an assessment of the result, person, things:

Don't you know such basic things? - It’s been clear to everyone for a long time, hasn’t it?

Directive questions - encourage action:

Could you listen?

Fixing questions - state problems, facts, agreements, results:

So we agreed to do...?

QUESTION TYPES (open-ended)

Open questions - contribute to the development and continuation of the conversation; they cannot be answered briefly:

How will this solution help with...? - What will happen if this decision is not made?

Explanatory questions - help to better understand the situation or feelings of the interlocutor:

Could you tell us more about your relationship?

Forwarded questions - make it possible to include your interlocutor in the conversation:

What's your opinion?

Questions with the right to choose - provide the opportunity for the interlocutor to choose different answer options:

When can we finally decide this? - Maybe it would be advisable to ask the opinions of others? OR...

ACTIVE LISTENING SKILLS

DO IT SILENTLY:

• Structure what the other person says - main ideas, key words, dates, names...;
• Analyze, compare what was said with what You know;
• Try to hear feelings, emotions - they often contradict words;
• Try to understand the speaker's point of view;
• Allow your thoughts to come and go, and focus your attention not on your thoughts, but on the speaker.

DON'T:

• Don't interrupt;
• Do not argue;
• Don't judge, don't evaluate;
• Don't rush to jump to conclusions.

HOW TO ACCEPT ANSWERS:

1. The answer satisfied you - Thank, encourage
2. The answer turned out to be only partially correct, incomplete - Highlight the correct part, ask more questions or redirect the question to another interlocutor
3. The answer did not satisfy you - Recognize the efforts of your interlocutor, do not put him in an awkward position, ask the question differently, redirect or help him answer it yourself

HOW TO RESPOND TO QUESTIONS/COMMENTS:

• No offense
• Don't judge
• Don't try to defend yourself
• Don't ignore questions
• Respect your interlocutor
• Keep calm

RULES FOR EFFECTIVE LISTENING

1. Create the conditions.
   • Help the speaker feel like you can listen. Create a comfortable environment for the speaker. Turn off your phone, choose a place where you will not be disturbed.
2. Take an active posture.
   • An active body posture helps you create mental focus, and conversely, when we relax the body, our brain experiences the same.
3. Focus your gaze on the speaker.
   • In this case, it is easier to listen and maintain attention. If you look to the side or at the floor, there is a possibility that your thoughts will follow your eyes. Know how to maintain visual contact with the interlocutor, but without intrusiveness or staring (which is sometimes mistaken for hostility).
4. Show that you want to listen.
   • You need to look interested. Make sure that your postures and gestures indicate that you are listening to your interlocutor. Remember that your partner wants to communicate with an attentive, lively person.
5. Maintain steady attention to the speaker.
   • Do not draw anything on the paper, do not tap your fingers or pen, or rustle the paper. Any distracting action - running your eyes around - forces you to distribute attention between the speaker and foreign objects.
6. It is necessary to listen and hear.
   • Know how to focus on what the other person is saying. Don't let your thoughts wander. Try to listen in such a way as to understand the speaker's point of view.
7. Plan your listening process logically.
   • It is difficult to remember everything that we are told, but the main ideas are necessary.
8. Try to understand the feelings of your interlocutor.
   • It is necessary to understand not only the meaning of the words, but also the feelings of the interlocutor. Remember that people convey their thoughts and feelings "coded", in accordance with accepted social norms.
9. Know how to be observant.
   • Watch for the speaker's non-verbal cues, since emotional communication accounts for the majority of communication.
10. Don't shirk responsibility for communication.
    • It is mutual, since two people participate in communication, and they alternate in the role of the listener. Know how to show your interlocutor that you really listen and understand him. This can be achieved by clarifying questions and active emotions. How can your interlocutor know that you understand him if you don’t tell him about it yourself?
11. Be patient.
    • Take enough time to avoid interrupting the speaker.
12. Hold your emotions.
    • An angry person often interprets words incorrectly. Listen to yourself. Your preoccupation and emotional arousal make it difficult to listen to your partner. If his speech and behavior affect your feelings, try to express them. This will clarify the situation and make it easier for you to listen to your interlocutor.
13. Be careful with criticism, do not evaluate.
    • Maintain an approving reaction towards your interlocutor. Your approval helps him express his thoughts more accurately. Any negative reaction on your part will cause the speaker to react defensively, feel insecure, and wary.
14. Understand the other person's goal.
    • Remember that often the other person's goal is to get something real from you, or change your mind, or get you to do something. In this case, action is the best response to the interlocutor.
15. Negative habits make listening difficult.
    • Try to identify your listening habits, strengths and weaknesses, and the nature of your mistakes.
    • Are you too quick to judge people?
    • Do you focus your attention on the appearance and shortcomings of the speaker’s speech?
    • Do you have a habit of listening without looking at the person?
    • Do you often interrupt your interlocutor?
    • Do you show ostentatious attention while your head is occupied with personal problems?
    • Are you making hasty assessments and conclusions based on something that has not yet been heard?

Knowing your habits is the first step to improving them.

LISTENING SKILLS

1. Nonverbal listening
   • eye-to-eye contact
   • language of the body
   • sound inclusions (uh-huh, uh-huh, ah-ahh, yes, hmm...)
   • our thoughts and feelings
2. Mirroring
   • nonverbal listening
   • repeating the partner’s words, using his words and expressions, as close to the text as possible:
3. Paraphrasing (summarizing what you hear)
   • nonverbal listening
   • mirroring (necessary if there is no confirmation from the partner about the accuracy of understanding what was heard)
   • repeating what you heard from your partner in your own words in a brief form (summarizing what you heard in one or two phrases):
   • I-messages (I heard, I understood that...)
   • repeating your partner’s ideas, feelings, thoughts rather than your own
   • obtain confirmation from your partner about the accuracy of understanding
   • make sure you repeat everything that was important to your partner
4. Accession
   • nonverbal listening
   • mirroring
   • repeating what you heard from your partner in your own words in a short form
   • joining the partner’s feelings and thoughts (understanding that does not necessarily imply agreement and acceptance): I-message (I would feel the same way if I were you; it’s so understandable, this has happened to everyone, we all get angry...)
5. Encouragement (compliments)
   • encouraging your partner for openness and trust
   • thank you for telling me this;
   • it is very important for me to know your opinion;
   • I will think about it;
   • I am very impressed by your openness;
   • you're absolutely right, I should think about it...
6. Four step formula
   • when... (description of events),
   • I thought that... (description of thoughts),
   • I feel... (description of feelings),
   • I would like next time..., it would help me if you... (a constructive way out of the situation).

ALGORITHM FOR ACTIVE LISTENING IN DIALOGUE

Stages

• Actions

1. Non-verbal support for the speaker
   • “Uh-huh”, nods, “listening posture”, “yes-yes”, “of course”, eye contact
2. A phrase assigning responsibility for a statement to a partner (a paraphrase does not work if it does not emphasize who exactly expressed this thought)
   • You say (think, believe) that...
   • So your doubts are as follows...
   • So your principles say that...
   • So you're saying that...
   • Your doubt boils down to this...
   • You put it in such a way that...
   • Your words are...
3. Formulating the content of the statement
   • At this stage, you need to try to completely get rid of your own emotions, assessments, and put them off for later.
4. Obtaining the agreement of the interlocutor with your interpretation of his thoughts
   • Did I understand correctly?
   • This is true?
   • Am I missing something?

If the partner does not agree or doubts, it is necessary to rephrase again until full understanding

WAYS TO CLARIFY THE MEANING OF WHAT YOUR PEOPLE SAID.

1. Supporting Echo
   • Repeating the last words of the interlocutor during a conversation. Thus, we maintain contact and stimulate him to express his needs in more detail.
2. Semantic echo
   • Repeating one or two key words from the interlocutor’s statement. Thus, we direct his speech in a certain direction. This is a way of maintaining an area of ​​conversation that is important to us.
3. Mirror
   • Repeating the interlocutor's thoughts in his own words. This technique gives the interlocutor the illusion that he is understood and is in control of the conversation. It provides the listener with the opportunity to think and plan their statements or questions.
4. Paraphrase
   • Repeating the interlocutor's thoughts in your own words. The goal is to achieve a semantic understanding of the statement. A paraphrase carries both understanding and content that may not be explicitly present in the partner’s words. Having received the reflection of his thought in this form, the partner can separate in it the correct semantic understanding from the incorrect one.

SUMMARY

To summarize means to repeat the content or meaning of the interlocutor’s statements (with the same or similar words). At the same time, we put an “intonation question mark” at the end of the phrase (raising our voice), as a result of which the sentence becomes motivating: our interlocutor receives an incentive for further thoughts and words.

Examples of summarizing sentences:

• "Could this create new problems for us?"
• “So about once every two or three days?”

Typical wording:

• "So you think..?"
• “Did you say..?”/ “If I understand you correctly, you..?”
• "You meant..?"

BENEFITS OF USING PARAPHRASE

For you:

Allows:

Neutralize negative emotions to what you hear - Delay your response (gains time gain) - Remove the illusion of understanding - Think about what you heard

Helps:

Support the conversation - Strengthen the opponent’s point of view - Detail and specify what was said - Filter out the main content of the statement - Place emphasis according to the degree of importance for yourself - Understand what the opponent really wants - Generalize and summarize long thoughts - Clarify the opponent’s thought

Forces:

Be collected and vigilant - Refuse subjective assessments - Control your emotional state - Retain and remember all the nuances of the message

For your interlocutor:

Allows:

Detail and illustrate what is said - Get the impression that he is being listened to - Be sure that he is understood

Helps:

Realize what he expressed wrong - Find out what exactly you understand or don’t understand - Better understand and express your own thoughts - Find out what is important to you

Forces:

Stay on one topic - Speak clearly for the listener - Separate the content of the conversation from emotions

"YOU ARE THE MESSAGE"

• EXAMPLE: “You’ve delayed everyone again, you’re always late everywhere, you can’t be relied upon at all. You say one thing and do something completely different. You are a very dishonest person and I will never trust you again.”

"I AM THE MESSAGE"

• EXAMPLE: “I've been waiting for you for a long time. I even started to worry. I thought something had happened. Let’s agree next time that you won’t always be there.”

Techniques for attracting and maintaining attention

In a conversation, it may make sense to use the following techniques for attracting and maintaining attention along the way:

1. Voice and emotional modulation (changes in timbre, pitch and volume of speech)
2. Modulation of speech tempo (pauses, speed changes)
3. Interrupting speech, using anticipation (guessing)
4. “Memory lapses” (allegedly forgetting obvious concepts)
5. Gesticulation (palms open, gestures wide, free, emotional)
6. Rhetorical questions.
7. Security questions (immediately after explaining the moment)
8. Leading questions (containing clues to the answer)
9. Clarifying questions.
10. Auditory memory training "Echo" (please repeat the last sentence verbatim)
11. Extra stimuli (light or sound signals not related to the content of the conversation, cause an indicative reaction and activate attention. Condition - suddenness: drop a chair, a book, turn on the light, ...)

Active Listening Technique

ACTION	GOALS	HOW TO DO IT	EXAMPLE
Support	Show interest; Help your interlocutor continue talking.	Refrain from expressing agreement or disagreement; Use neutral words; Use calm intonations; Use nonverbal communication.	“Could you tell me a little more about this?”
Clarification	It is clearer to understand what is being said; Get more information; Help the speaker see other points of view.	Ask questions; Be vague about your understanding of what was said in order to force the speaker to continue explaining.	"When did it happen?"
Expressing understanding of ideas	Show that you are listening to what is being said. Show how correctly you understand the main thoughts of your interlocutor.	Highlight main ideas and facts; Paraphrase your interlocutor.	“So you want her to not let you down anymore?”
Expressing understanding of feelings	Show that you understand how the person feels; Give a person the opportunity to reevaluate his feelings after he hears them from another.	Highlight the speaker's main feelings; Paraphrase your interlocutor.	“I think this really upsets you.”
Generalization	Collect together all the main ideas, facts, feelings; Create a basis for further discussion.	Review the main ideas and feelings.	“In my opinion, the main thing that I heard was...”
Conclusion	Show respect for your interlocutor.	Show respect for the other person's feelings and thoughts.	“I really appreciate your desire to resolve this issue.”

Management communication

This is communication with the aim of guiding children, i.e. change their activities in a certain direction, maintain them in a given direction, or shape them in the required direction.

Three functions of management communication:

Issuing administrative information - receiving feedback information - issuing assessment information

The quality of performance depends on how you give orders. Administrative information in form can be directive and democratic. The directive form includes: order (directive), instruction, order, requirement; the democratic form includes recommendation, advice, request. Any order of the counselor can be presented in the form of a request.

THING OR DESIRE TO DO

Any task can be done poorly, satisfactorily, well, excellently. Doing a job well means looking for new, more effective ways to solve a problem, using your creativity to do it better.

UNDERSTANDING

One of the reasons for not following the counselor’s orders is a lack of mutual understanding.

Terms of mutual understanding:

Unity of language. It is necessary that the child understands the language in which you give him orders. - taking into account the level of intelligence - completeness of information - logical presentation - concentration of attention (listening does not mean hearing)

THE FIRST LAW OF MANAGEMENT COMMUNICATION

Understanding does not mean accepting. It is necessary that your position does not contradict any basic views or positions of the teenager on this issue. - The first condition of acceptance.

In order for a teenager to accept your position, you need to show him that the actions that are expected of him will help satisfy some of his needs - the second condition for acceptance.

A dispute out of the blue is when it is not the text of the message that is not accepted, but... the identity of the person reporting (you agree that this is white).

SECOND LAW OF MANAGEMENT COMMUNICATION

All other things being equal, people more easily accept the position of the person towards whom they have an emotionally positive attitude (sympathy, affection, friendship or love), and vice versa, it is more difficult to accept (and often reject) the position of the person towards whom they have an emotionally negative attitude (dislike, antipathy, hatred).

TECHNIQUES FOR FORMING ATTRACTION

RECEPTION “PROPER NAME”

D. Carnegie: “The sound of one’s own name is the most pleasant melody to a person’s ear.”

1. The name assigned to a given person accompanies her from the first days of life to the last. Name and identity are inseparable.
2. When a person is addressed without calling him by name, this is an “impersonal” address. In this case, the speaker is interested in the person not as a person, but only as a bearer of certain functions. When they turn to a person and at the same time pronounce his name, and the name is a symbol of personality, then, voluntarily or involuntarily, they show attention to this person.
3. Attention to the individual is also an affirmation of that individual. Every person claims to be an individual. And when our claim is not satisfied, when someone infringes on us as an individual, we, of course, feel it.
4. If a person receives confirmation that he is a person, then this cannot but give him a feeling of satisfaction.
5. A feeling of satisfaction is always accompanied by positive emotions, which are not necessarily realized by the person.
6. A person always strives for someone who (what) evokes positive emotions in him.
7. If someone evokes positive emotions in us, then he, voluntarily or involuntarily, attracts us to himself, disposes, i.e. creates an attraction.

• calling a person by name
• attention to this individual
• affirmation of a person as an individual
• satisfaction of the need to establish oneself as a person
• proximity to the source of these emotions

There are many ways to remember names. Some of them:

• As soon as you hear the name, find a reason to immediately say it out loud (“It’s very nice to meet you, Kolya (Misha, Sveta, Masha, ...)”).
• Quickly go through the names of people you know (these can also be the names of great people) to establish associative connections.

RECEPTION “MIRROR OF RELATIONSHIPS”

People say that the face is the “mirror of the soul.” Let's make a psychological adjustment: the face is a “mirror of attitude.” People very rarely control and regulate the “image” on their “attitude mirror”. A smile is the password for friends.

PSYCHOLOGICAL MECHANISM OF RECEPTION:

1. Most people smile sincerely and kindly at their friends, not at their enemies.
2. If, when communicating with us, a person, as a rule, has a kind and pleasant facial expression, a soft, welcoming smile, then most likely this is a signal: “I am your friend.”
3. A friend in the truest sense of the word is a like-minded person in some issues or matters that are significant to us, or according to S.I. Ozhegov, “supporter”, “defender”.
4. One of the leading human needs is the need for safety and security. A friend is a person who increases security, i.e. satisfies one of the most important needs.
5. A feeling of satisfaction evokes positive emotions in a person.
6. A person always strives for what (who) evokes positive emotions in him.
7. If someone evokes positive emotions, then he, voluntarily or involuntarily, creates an attraction.

• kind smile, pleasant facial expression
• signal: “I am your friend”
• friend provides security
• satisfaction of the need for security
• formation of positive emotions

Punishing, repelling or attracting?

1. For punishment to “work”, it is necessary to achieve acceptance of your position by this person.
2. This person will accept your position if he reads on your “attitude mirror” that in general you evaluate this person positively. Hence: condemn not the person, but the act committed by him.
3. By naming, do not push away, but attract to you.

RECEPTION “GOLDEN WORDS”

Compliments are words that contain slight exaggerations of a person's positive qualities. The mechanism of action of compliments is based on the psychological phenomenon of suggestion.

PSYCHOLOGICAL MECHANISM OF RECEPTION:

1. A person hears pleasant words addressed to him, representing a slight exaggeration of some of his positive qualities, i.e. compliment.
2. If a compliment is made according to all the rules, then the effect of suggestion occurs.
3. As a consequence of suggestion, there is “absentee” satisfaction of the need to “look” better in this matter.
4. As a consequence of need satisfaction, positive emotions are formed.
5. Since positive emotions are caused by you, this, according to the general mechanism of attraction formation, determines his disposition towards you with all the favorable consequences when he carries out your orders.

• “golden words” (compliment)
• suggestion effect
• correspondence satisfaction of the need for improvement
• formation of positive emotions
• disposition to the source of positive emotions

The most effective compliment is a compliment against the backdrop of an anti-compliment to yourself.

RULES FOR APPLICATION OF “GOLDEN WORDS”

1. "One meaning." A compliment should reflect only the positive qualities of that person. In a compliment, double meaning should be avoided when, for example, a given quality in a person can be considered both positive and negative.
2. "No hyperbole." The quality reflected in the compliment should be only a slight exaggeration.
3. "High opinion." An important factor in the effectiveness of this technique is the person’s own opinion about the level of development of the qualities reflected in the compliment. Let’s say a person knows for sure that his level of this quality is much higher than what is stated in the compliment.
4. "Unpretentious". The child does not at all strive to improve this quality of his, moreover, he believes that it would be bad if it - this positive quality - was expressed more strongly in him than it is.
5. "No didactics." A compliment must state, i.e. assert the presence of this characteristic, and do not contain recommendations for its improvement.

“PATIENT LISTENER” RECEPTION

“Be attentive to children!” “Listen to them patiently!” “Do not interrupt your interlocutor, always listen to the end!”

PSYCHOLOGICAL MECHANISM OF RECEPTION

First, patiently and attentively listen to the teenager who comes to you with this or that question. This leads to the satisfaction of one of the most important needs of any person - the need for self-expression. Its satisfaction naturally leads to the formation of positive emotions. And since you were the actual source of these emotions, they will be “returned” to you in the form of a slight increase in sympathy for you, i.e. in the form of an emerging or intensifying attraction.

• patient and attentive listening
• satisfying the need for self-expression
• formation of positive emotions
• disposition to the source of positive emotions

Refuse by favoring:

• Dynamics of a partner’s emotional state when communication is refused.

RECEPTION “PERSONAL LIFE”

It is necessary to carefully observe the life of children in the detachment, take an interest in their personal concerns and interests.

Methods of persuasion and argumentation

The word is a great instrument of human communication and limitless influence on people. Counselors often care about the content of verbal influence, and at the same time are carefree about its form, which is no less important. What, for example, is meant when we talk about the technique of verbal persuasion? This diction(clear pronunciation of sounds), expressive pronunciation(in particular, correct handling of logical stresses), volume(depending on the situation), the ability to manage your gestures and facial expressions, clear logical structure of speech, Availability pauses, short breaks. It should be noted that it is not only words that convince, but also deeds, so you should not rely on words alone for a persuasive effect, even if they are spoken correctly and intelligibly, but not confirmed by specific deeds.

Methods of persuasion are leading among methods of organizational influence. Conviction is, first of all, an explanation and proof of the correctness and necessity of certain behavior or the inadmissibility of some offense.

The process of persuasion is perhaps the most difficult among other methods of organizational influence. The leading place in this process is occupied by argumentation their position and the desire to make it become the position, the conviction of each participant in collective activity. Therefore, now we will take a closer look at argumentation as the most important basis of persuasion. Let's dwell on parameters of persuasive influence.

There are many ways to argue, but, as in chess, practice has developed a number of “correct openings.” They can be reduced to the following four techniques.

1. Tension Relief Technique requires establishing emotional contact with the interlocutor. A few words are enough for this. A joke, told at the right time and at the right place, also greatly helps to defuse tension and create a positive psychological environment for discussion.
2. "Hook" technique allows you to briefly outline the situation and, linking it with the content of the conversation, use it as a starting point for discussing the problem. For these purposes, you can successfully use some events, comparisons, personal impressions, an anecdotal incident or an unusual question.
3. Imagination Stimulation Technique involves asking at the beginning of the conversation many questions about the content of the problems that should be considered. This method gives good results when the mentee has a sober view of the problem being solved.
4. Direct Approach Technique involves a direct transition to the point without any introduction or preamble. Schematically, it looks like this: briefly state the reasons why the conversation is organized and proceed to discuss them.

How to encourage a person to accept your point of view? These recommendations may be useful in psychocorrectional work.

Rule one: convincing a person of something does not mean arguing with him. Misunderstandings cannot be settled by argument; they can only be resolved through tact, a desire for reconciliation, and a sincere desire to understand the other's point of view.

Rule two: respect the opinion of your interlocutor, never tell a person sharply that he is wrong, especially if the conversation is in front of strangers, since in this case it will be difficult for him to agree with you.

Never start with the statement: “I am ready to prove it to you.” It's the same as saying, "I'm smarter than you." It's kind of a challenge. Such an appeal turns the interlocutor against you even before you begin to convince him.

If a person expresses some thought and you consider it wrong or even absolutely sure that it is wrong, nevertheless, it is better to address your interlocutor with approximately the following words: “I may be wrong. Let's get the facts straight." You will never find yourself in a difficult situation if you admit that you may be wrong. This will stop any argument and force your interlocutor to be as fair and frank as you, forcing him to admit that he, too, can be wrong.

Rule three: if you are wrong, then admit it quickly and decisively. It is much easier to admit your mistakes or shortcomings yourself than to listen to condemnation from another person. If you suspect that someone wants to speak negatively about you, say it yourself first. You will disarm him. In some cases, it is much more pleasant to admit that you are wrong than to try to defend yourself. Admitting a mistake, as a rule, causes condescension towards the one who made it.

Rule four: when you want to convince a person of the correctness of your point of view, conduct the conversation in a friendly tone. Don't start with issues on which you differ. Talk about where your opinions coincide.

Rule five: try get an affirmative answer from your interlocutor at the very beginning of the conversation. If a person said, “No,” his pride demands that he remain consistent to the end.

Rule six: provide the interlocutor has the opportunity to talk more, and try to be laconic. The truth is that even our friends prefer to talk about their successes rather than listen to us boast. Most people, trying to ensure that a person understands their point of view, talk a lot themselves - this is a clear mistake. Give the other person the opportunity to speak, so it’s better to learn how to ask questions to your interlocutors yourself.

Rule seven: let the person in your care feel that idea, which you gave him, belongs to him, not for you.

Rule eight: if you want to convince people of something, try see things through their eyes. Every person has a reason to act this way and not otherwise. Find this hidden reason and you will have the “clue”, you will understand his actions and maybe even his personality traits. Try to put yourself in his shoes. You will save a lot of time and save your nerves.

Rule nine: be sympathetic to the ideas and desires of the interlocutor. Sympathy is what everyone craves. Most of the people around you need sympathy.

Rule ten: to change someone's opinion or point of view, appeal to noble motives. A person is usually guided by two motives in his actions: one that sounds noble, and the other that is true. The person himself will think about the true reason. But we all, being idealists at heart, love to talk about noble motives.

Rule eleven: use the principle of clarity to prove that you are right. Expressing the truth in words alone is sometimes not enough. The truth must be shown vividly, interestingly, and clearly.

Communication techniques during a conversation

In practice, a communication technique is understood as a set of communicative actions and techniques that lead to the satisfaction of certain socially valuable needs (in activity, cognition, leadership, etc.). Let us note that there are universal communication techniques that are effective in relation to various spheres of human life: in particular, tactfulness, friendliness, a sense of humor, etc. They are significant for any type of joint activity and in a group of any level of development. However, these characteristics of communication are a necessary, but generally insufficient condition for the effectiveness of specific methods of communication between you and the person of interest to us.

It should be noted that techniques that are effective for unregulated, free communication may very often turn out to be unacceptable for official communication. A specific communication technique is needed to establish relationships and organize interactions with your students. Communication techniques usually develop spontaneously, in the process of active interaction with children. This process is greatly influenced by established traditions and the general psychological climate in the detachment, which includes the person of interest.

In order not to depend on a happy coincidence of circumstances, you need to know and master communication techniques to establish the necessary psychological contact. If your partner feels prejudiced towards the topic of conversation, then it is advisable to use the following recommendations to ensure a positive emotional climate for communication:

• Be kind and tactful. In most cases, starting a conversation is facilitated by the use of such techniques as a smile, a friendly address, and a good attitude towards the person. It is necessary to constantly maintain “eye contact” when addressing the interlocutor, to demonstrate sympathetic understanding of the personal difficulties of the person of interest, his interests. It should be remembered that it is important to avoid pressure, so as not to provoke a response: “Don’t get into my soul!” Friendly treatment also implies increased attention to nuances that indicate changes in the psychological state of the interlocutor; intonation and gestures should not go unnoticed. When the interlocutor is friendly, hand movements are free, and gestures complement his words. With a negative attitude, hand movements and facial expressions are rigid and this can be seen during conversation.
• Stay in your comfort zone if possible. Each person has his own comfort zone in conversations with acquaintances and strangers. If you violate this zone, your partner’s reaction will reveal his attitude towards you. In many cases, these signs are obvious - the communication partner takes a step back, sits away from you, moves the chair further away from you, and so on. If you inspire sympathy and inspire trust, then he accepts the distance characteristic of him when contacting a circle of acquaintances or likeable people.
• Strive for positive responses. At the beginning of establishing contact, you should touch on various neutral topics or ask questions that can only receive a positive answer.
• Engage the person of interest in the dialogue. If you are constantly active in the conversation without transferring the initiative to the person you are interested in, then psychological contact will be difficult. Addressing your interlocutor on a mutually understood issue should encourage him to speak out. It is important to show respect and attention to his views and positions.
• Know how to relieve mental tension. Until the emotional tension of the interlocutor is relieved and a “field of mutual interest” is not formed, it is advisable to talk about things that constitute the area of ​​​​increased interests of the person of interest. It is important to conduct conversations on topics that reinforce the partner’s self-esteem and evoke his positive reactions. Express your agreement with your interlocutor’s statements not only verbally, but also with gestures, facial expressions, and pantomimes.
• Be critical of your behavior. Both when establishing psychological contact, and in the future, control your behavioral reactions. You should not express disagreement with the views of your interlocutor, make compliments that are not related to the given situation, make vague and complex verbal statements, rush to move on to the development of relationships if mutual agreement is not reached, show uncertainty and curry favor with your partner.
• Know how to take initiative. When showing initiative and aggressiveness in establishing and developing trusting relationships, you must always remember that using the initiative in contact is much more productive than constantly owning it. If necessary, you should cede leadership to your communication partner (for example, in matters in which he understands). The authoritarian style of initiative in communication is justified only in extreme situations.

As a rule, the establishment of long-term relationships is facilitated by a democratic leadership style.

Psychological foundations of conversation

A conversation is mutual communication with the goal of reaching a joint decision. Let us note that communication cannot always be easy, even for people who have a lot in common. Therefore, it is not surprising that people who do not know each other well and, perhaps, are hostile and suspicious of each other, generally have difficulty communicating. Whatever you say, you must be prepared for the fact that the other side will almost always understand you in its own way.

The most experienced talkers actively use (most often intuitively) the numerous psychological nuances that arise when discussing problems, which, to a certain extent, makes it easier for them to accept reasonable agreements. Let's take a look at some of them. In our opinion, there are three fairly large problems here.

1. The first is that people conducting a conversation do not strive to be understood.. Very often, each side considers it hopeless to explain anything to the other side and does not try to establish serious communication with it. The conversation continues with only one purpose - to impress a third party or even the public. Instead of looking for approaches to an acceptable agreement with the partner of interest, attempts are made to trap him. Naturally, in such a situation, effective communication between the parties is completely impossible.
2. Even if you speak clearly and directly, you may still not be heard. This constitutes the second problem of communication. It often seems that people don't pay attention to what you say, just as you sometimes fail to repeat what they said. During a conversation, you may be so busy thinking about a response to a subsequent remark or how to formulate the next argument that you forget what your communication partner is talking about at that moment. You can partly understand. Perhaps those you represent (eg, partner, other children) are waiting for the results of your conversation. They are the ones you want to satisfy first. It is not surprising that you pay close attention to this circumstance. Thus, the goal remains unachieved - communication fails.
3. And the third communication problem is misunderstanding. Your communication partner may not understand what you say. Where the parties speak different languages, the likelihood of misunderstandings always increases. Often people formulate their thoughts in such a way that if something happens they can easily refuse them, and this must always be taken into account.

What techniques do you need to know in order to facilitate a conversation? Let's try to consider them in order.

Listen carefully and show that you heard what your partner said. A standard technique for good listening is to pay close attention to what is being said, ask the party concerned to clarify what he or she means, and, when necessary, ask for repetition of ideas if there is confusion or uncertainty about their meaning. . When you listen to your interlocutor, set yourself the task of not giving hasty answers, but try to understand your partner, his perception of situations, his needs and views.

Until you have given a sign that you understand well what your communication partner is talking about and what he is demonstrating, he may not believe that you heard him. Otherwise, when you try to justify a different approach, he will assume that you did not understand what he meant. So he will think about how to reformulate his arguments so that this time you will understand their meaning.

When you articulate your understanding of what your communication partner meant and speak positively about his side, you thereby clarify the strengths of his position. Understanding does not mean agreeing. You can perfectly understand what your communication partner is saying and completely disagree with it. But until you convince your partner that you understand his point of view, you will not be able to explain your approach to the problem to him. Mutual understanding will ensure that the conversation moves in a constructive direction.

Speak so that you are understood. When addressing the other side, remember that a conversation is not a debate; that the person you are communicating with should not be blamed for problems, raise your voice at him or label him.

Express your opinion about the problem. In many cases, each side spends a lot of time in negotiations blaming the other party's motives and intentions. It is more convincing, in our opinion, to behave tactfully, without directly accusing the interlocutor, but leading him to believe that he is wrong. Such behavior will either cause indifference, anger, or provoke a defensive reaction in the target that will interfere with the perception of your message.

Try to talk to achieve your goal. Sometimes the problem arises not because of a lack of communication, but because of its excess. When irritation and misperception of your words are excessive, it is better not to express your thoughts to your partner. In some cases, on the contrary, extreme compliance may not make it easier, but rather make it more difficult to reach an agreement. The conclusion is this: before you make any serious statement, find out for yourself what exactly you want to tell your partner or find out what purpose this information will serve.

It is important to establish a constructive, close relationship with your partner.. It is much easier to attribute malicious intentions to an unknown abstraction called a “communication partner” than to someone you know personally. It makes a difference whether you are dealing with a friend, a mentee or an opponent. The faster the last person becomes closer to you, the easier it will become for you to have a conversation: you can create a basis for trust even in a difficult situation. You will have relaxed and friendly communication. It will become easier to defuse tension with a joke. As a rule, it is always best to try to create such a relationship before the conversation begins. Try to get to know and study your communication partners, their interests, passions or habits. The matter can be made easier if you sit together next to each other. No matter how fragile your relationship may be, try to structure the conversation so that it becomes a joint activity in which both of you - with your different interests, perceptions and emotional involvement - have a common goal together.

Become aware of your emotions and those of the party you are interested in.. In a conversation, feelings may be more important than the essence of the discussion itself. People often enter into conversations with the knowledge that the stakes are high and their interests are threatened. Emotions on one side cause anger and fear on the other. It should be noted that excessive emotions can quickly lead a dialogue to a dead end or stop it altogether.

Don't infer the intention of the person of interest based on your own fears.. People tend to interpret the other party's statements or actions in a negative way. Suspicion naturally stems from existing prejudice. However, interpreting the statements and actions of the party of interest in the darkest light can cost you the loss of new ideas leading to an agreement, and minor but positive changes in position will be ignored or rejected by the partner.

Involve the person of interest in the decision-making process. If this is not done sufficiently, the partner is unlikely to approve of its outcome. If you want the party of interest to agree with a conclusion that is unpleasant for him, it is extremely important to make him a participant in the preparation of this conclusion. As a rule, this is precisely what is not done. When you are faced with a difficult task, you instinctively save the solution to the most difficult part until last. To involve the person of interest in the matter, seek his advice so that he accepts this or that proposal. It is not enough to just discuss with your partner the essence of the problem being solved. It is necessary to create in him a feeling of involvement in the process of developing a solution, which is one of the most important factors for a successful conversation.

Talk about your interests. By explaining your interests, you must convince your partner of their importance. One of the guiding principles is accuracy. Specific details not only make your description credible, but also give it weight. In order for your arguments to impress your partner, you must also justify their legitimacy, convince this person that if he were in your place, he would feel the same.

Always be clear about your interests. It is unwise to stick rigidly to one's position, but to firmly pursue one's interests is reasonable. This is where you can expend your aggressive energy. A stakeholder concerned with his own interests will tend to have overly optimistic expectations about possible agreements. Often the smartest decisions, those that provide the most benefit at the least cost to the other party, are achieved simply by effectively protecting self-interest. Two people, each of whom strongly defends their own interests in a conversation, often stimulate each other's creativity to think about mutually beneficial solutions. Firmly defending your interests in a conversation does not mean that you refuse to understand the other person's point of view, that you are closed to discussions. Quite the opposite. It is unlikely that you should expect that the other side will listen to your arguments and discuss your options for resolving the issue if you are not interested in his arguments and take them into account and do not show that you are open to suggestions. Typically, a successful conversation requires both firmness and openness.

Always try to offer mutually beneficial options. Mastery of inventing options is the most useful quality in conversations. Having many options is very valuable. However, both you and your communication partner, involved in a conversation, rarely feel the need for this. In an argument, people usually believe that their position is correct, so their approach should prevail. Creative thinking only manifests itself in the proposal to compromise. There is nothing more harmful in inventing options than a critical attitude where you are ready to seize on the shortcomings of any idea proposed by your partner. A critical attitude tends to inhibit imagination.

In addition, there is a danger that by inventing options, you will give away some confidential information that will weaken your position. Usually, people leading a conversation see their task as reducing the gap between positions, and not as increasing the number of available options. They fear that free-flowing discussion will only slow down the decision-making process and make it more difficult. It should also be noted that in a conversation there is always a tendency for each of the parties to consider the situation of interest to the parties as extreme: either-or. Either you get what is being argued about or the partner you are interested in. Being emotionally invested in only one side of an issue makes it difficult to detach from the issue, which is necessary to think through reasonable ways to satisfy the interests of both sides. Myopic preoccupation only with one’s own problems contributes to the fact that each participant in the conversation is occupied exclusively with his own position, perceives only his own arguments and makes decisions based solely on his own interests. If the person leading the conversation wants to reach an agreement that is in his own interests, he must propose a solution that would meet the interests of the person concerned.

Always look for mutual benefit. Always strive for solutions that would satisfy your partner. A decision in which the other party gains absolutely nothing is worse for you than one in which they feel comfortable. In almost every case, your satisfaction with the outcome depends to some extent on your ability to make the other party happy with the agreement.

Invent ways that suit the other side. Since most people are strongly influenced by their own notions of legality, one effective way to achieve decisions that are easy for the other party is to make them seem legal. The interested party is more likely to make a decision that appears impeccable from the point of view of fairness and legality. Few methods are as effective in facilitating the decision-making process as the use of precedent. Try to find some solution that the interested party has already made in a similar situation and try to justify your agreement with it. This will ensure objectivity and facilitate agreement by the party of interest.

It is useful to draw the attention of the negotiator to the consequences that may arise as a result of making a decision that suits you, as well as the possibility of correcting these consequences, taking into account the point of view of the partner of interest. Influencing him through threats can in most cases lead to the opposite result.

Use objective criteria. When reaching a decision, it is advisable to be guided by objective criteria rather than forceful pressure. Concentrate on the essence of the problem that interests you, rather than testing your and the party's restraint. Be open to reasonable arguments, but closed to threats. People who use objective criteria tend to always use their time more efficiently and purposefully.

The insistence that an agreement must be based on objective standards does not mean that we must insist solely on the criteria that you put forward. One legitimate criterion should not exclude the existence of others. What you consider fair, the other side may regard as unfair, and vice versa. When each party puts forward its own criterion, look for an objective basis for the choice, such as which one has been used by the party of interest in the past or is generally more widely accepted.

To summarize the recommendations for conducting a serious conversation, we should once again emphasize the need to study and take into account psychological aspects so that the communication problem can be solved rationally, based on objective criteria. Knowledge of the psychological characteristics of a person will allow you to build relationships in such a way as to prevent the emergence of excessive emotional tension, to exclude the adoption of hasty decisions, which often lead to the final breakdown of trusting relationships.

Creating or using a positive background of the conversation, a friendly atmosphere, will allow us to organize the joint development of numerous alternative solutions and settle on the one that takes into account the diverse interests of the contracting parties as much as possible.

In a real life situation, one has to deal with threats, unreasonably increasing demands, forceful pressure, deliberate deception and other tricks. Therefore, mastery of the art of conversation is often not enough to not give in to pressure and defend your own interests. Only constant practice, combined with the skills of behavior in conflict, extremely tense situations, will allow you to transfer them into a constructive direction and solve the problem.

Topic of the day or shift

• Allows you to fill old events with new meaning and make them more interesting. A topic close to children will arouse their interest in everything that is somehow connected with it.
• It requires one way or another to tie everything that happens to the topic.

Thematic days

A thematic ("Theme") day is a day on which events related to a single theme are held from morning to evening. A themed day can be held for the entire camp or for one squad. Participating in a themed day is much more interesting for children than playing regular everyday games, especially if the day is well thought out. How to do this?

It all starts with choosing a topic. The success of the entire event largely depends on this choice, since it is easier for counselors to develop a good theme, and it is more interesting for children to play it. Choosing a theme for the day is a bit like coming up with a squad name.

For simplicity, you can take a list of holidays and memorable dates and select from it the most interesting holidays, the celebration of which will be devoted to the whole day (according to the calendar, they may not necessarily take place in the summer). In addition, some events may prompt you to an interesting topic, for example, a solar eclipse, Friday the 13th, or it rains for the third day in a row. You can also use a popular cartoon, a historical event, a geographic region, or anything else as a basis.

When a topic is chosen, write down on a piece of paper as many associations associated with it as possible. Select the most striking associations from this list. For example, for Railwayman's Day it could be: railway stations, rails, semaphores, depot, hump, orange vests... And for Navy Day: St. Andrew's flag, parade of ships, signal flags, sea battle, nautical maps, etc. .

Try to come up with a twist. Non-standard solutions are always very much appreciated. Moreover, one unconventional idea can point to a whole mountain of other good ideas. Instead of holding a simple Olympics, try to do a better Winter Olympics. Children will be much more interested in playing hockey in the summer than just running on a treadmill.

It is better to divide the themed day into three parts (time after breakfast, after afternoon tea and after dinner). For each part you need to choose a typical game scenario. For example, station game, quiz, sports competition, stage play, etc. If a stage production is chosen, then it is better to hold the performance itself in the afternoon, and spend the first half of the day preparing for it.

Next, the typical scenario is developed in more detail using the compiled list of associations. For a station-based game, this will include developing the setting (for example, on Railway Day, teams will move from station to station as a “train”) and detailed development of each station (what exactly children will do at the “Sorting Hill” and “Laying Rails” stations). If you're lucky, you'll come up with some very interesting little games.

Here we need to think about what to make orange vests for the railway children, and caps and jacks for the sailor children.

When working through the day, you should not forget about the design of the camp or its individual sections (scenes, lines, etc.), and it is also worth considering alternative scenarios for bad and good weather.

But coming up with a themed day is not enough. Any good idea can be ruined by poor implementation. A themed day should also be had well.

How to create a themed day

• Select a topic
• Atmosphere (costumes, vocabulary, tricks, roles...)
• Come up with activities based on the theme, you can even try food/exercise... tie into the theme.
• Think through their logical connection between activities
• Come up with a connecting thread (plot, goal, logic...)
• The idea (thought) of the day may also be present

It is important to be able to insert a standard event into a theme day.

A themed day can be a squad day or a general camp day. In the latter case, the theme is usually introduced by a theatrical show on the line-up.

The theme of the day is anything (day of the Indian, Neptune, aviator, day of beauty, love, science,...)

It is desirable that not only events are tied to the theme, but also routine moments (thematic exercises), various features related to the theme (not squads, but tribes, each with their own signature coloring, etc.)

For example Let's look at the same day of the Indian:

• Exercises: warm-up for a young warrior/hunter (javelin throwing, overcoming obstacles, driving prey)
• In the morning: Initiation into the Indians - a game at stations with tasks for dexterity, friendship, ending with a visit to the mysterious god of fire and drawing a magic symbol on the forehead.
• Then you can go on the warpath and play lightning in the Indian style (instead of shoulder straps - a life-giving amulet, war paint, ...)
• “However,” says the counselor, “war is not the best way to resolve conflicts,” and therefore in the afternoon: The Great Gathering of Tribes is a creative competition: a performance from the tribe, a tribal song, a competition of leaders, shamans, hunters, cooks,...
• A collective hunt for a mammoth would be a good appetizer.
• And in the evening: a big council by the fire with stories about Indians, good songs, in a word, just a fire.

Here is a plan - in some places it is approximate, in others it is redundant - think it out to your taste.

A couple more examples of special themed days:

• Reverse Day
  • On Reverse Day, girls become boys and boys become girls. They dress up accordingly, and competitions like “anti-miss” are held. The counselors must also transform themselves in order to set an example for the children.
  • Advice: don't delay. On the contrary, a day that starts in the morning will most likely die out around quiet time. Even if you offer children more and more unexpected entertainment (it doesn’t seem like it should be boring!), they will want to return to their original gender identity (by the way, some children will not want to change clothes at all - be prepared for this). It's probably best to start dressing up sometime after quiet time, surprise the entire camp with your appearance at afternoon tea, have a fancy event after tea, and then give the kids the freedom to switch back to their gender whenever they want.
• Understudy Day
  • On Understudy Day, counselors become children, and children become counselors. Of course, not all the children, but only 2 or 3 people who were chosen in advance by the whole squad.
  • Although the children seem to play the role of counselors, the counselors do not relax, but work twice as hard. It is still necessary to keep order in the detachment, but now do it not explicitly, but somehow gradually, so that everyone seems that it is the new counselors who are in charge of everything. However, if they don't cope at all, you may have to change them or stop the understudy's day altogether.
  • The Understudy's day, as a rule, begins with the curfew of the previous day, when new counselors beat the squad. Then, sitting with them in the counselor's room, you discuss the upcoming day. New counselors will have to hold events, share your counselor experiences with them. In the morning you wake them up earlier, and they go to the planning meeting with you, and then they get up, exercise, and away they go...

Development of a theme day

A thematic day is a pre-planned series of squad and/or squad events, united by goals, objectives, a common name and theme, held over 1 or 2 days.

Thematic days are:

• By the nature of the conduct - squad and detachment
• By number of days - simple (1 day) and compound (more than 1 day).

Requirements for thematic days:

1. The theme of the day somehow echoes the theme of the season
2. Having a legend to match the season's theme
3. In a simple thematic day there are at least 2 squad and squad events, in a composite day there are at least 6.
4. All events have the same goals, but different tasks.
5. It is important to anticipate the outcome of the theme day.

When developing a theme day you need to:

• clearly formulate the goals and objectives of the day and individual events
• select activities according to the type of day;
• take into account that the weather does not depend on us;
• know that two events of the same type are not held on the same day;
• a static team event (with one plot or one task) should not last more than 1 hour, a dynamic event - no more than 1.5 hours;
• remember that any element of a themed day requires design;
• remember that any thematic day requires summing up.

Logic of the theme day

The logic of the theme day builds itself; the theme leads the team from one event to another. It is only necessary to include in the program something sports, something educational, something creative, something competitive, something from the conversational genre and some other ritual. For example, if you plan “Forest Day”, then the program of the day could be like this:

• Zoological races (sports);
• Quiz “Mysteries of the Forest” (educational);
• Competition of crafts made from natural materials (“nature and fantasy”) (creative);
• Conversation “Man is a child of nature” (something from the conversational genre).

Another advantage of a theme day is that you don’t have to come up with a new design for each event. It is enough to make something thematically appropriate the night before, and it will fit for everything planned. Morning exercises, cleaning the area, afternoon snacks, etc. also become thematic. Usually there are 3-4 thematic days per camp shift. If you wish, you can make them themed at least every day. Here are the topics:

• Flower Day, Health Day, Guinness World Records Day,
• April Fool's Day, Indian Day, Day of Pranks and Jokes,
• Sports Day, Girls' Day, Boys' Day, Rain Day.

Types of events:

• Thematic lines. The flow chart is the same as for a regular line (formation, submission of reports, raising the flag), then the legend of the day is explained (you can hold a small theatrical performance) and the task for the event, which begins immediately after the line.
• Concerts. Held on any theme day. Advance preparation is required, about a day in advance. Each group presents a presentation on a given topic. The organizers are required to design the stage, links between performances, games with the audience, and a developed award system. At concerts, all participants are most often awarded according to nominations. (Cinema, The song remains with the person, TEFI)
• Competitions. Held on any theme day. No advance preparation is required. They take place either on stage or in open areas. Those in charge must set up the stage, select competitions on a specific topic, a production system for elimination, and awards. Competitions can run in parallel with a neutral event, for example, a disco. (Love at first sight, Guinness World Records)
• Stations. Held on any themed day, they are especially good on days dedicated to sports. It is advisable to alternate with static events. There are no two days in a row. The most interesting type, since everyone takes part. Required: the number of stations must correspond to the number of units, well-designed route sheets, a well-thought-out rating system, and awards. Another option: follow the notes or identification marks. (Day of Horror: mental health station, paranormal agency, get a brownie, spell, etc.; Lightning: minefield, disguise, encryption, etc.)
• Exhibitions, museums. They can take place on a single territory, or in buildings. Those in charge draw lots between teams, organize the work of the jury, and develop an award system. (Panic Room, Indian Village, Ikebana Exhibition, Zoo)
• Games. Most often used on sports themed days. Linear. They have clearly defined goals and objectives for children. (Green Heel, Breakthrough, Attackers, Bomb, RVS, etc.)

Planning a theme day:

• First you need to determine whether the day you are designing is simple or compound.
• Clearly formulate the goals and objectives of the day and each event separately.
• Select activities according to the view.
• Keep in mind that the weather does not depend on you and cannot be planned.
• Therefore, the best option would be to draw up a double plan - events in sunny weather and replacing them with events in the rain.
• Two events of the same type are not held on the same day!
• Remember that any element of a theme day requires design.
• Nothing should be “just like that.” Summing up, rewarding and conclusions are required!

Decor:

• First of all, the planned thematic day is included in the plan - the season grid and is outlined step by step in the season program.
• If the decoration requires any specific things that cannot be found or made at the camp, indicate their need in the program under the “props” section.
• The design is usually done by the developers of the day. Exceptions are possible.

What and how to fill out:

1. Concerts. Since they always take place on stage, you need to first decorate the stage. In addition, it would not be superfluous to prepare the viewing areas.

The awards usually take place according to nominations, so it is necessary to prepare in advance (according to the number of units) certificates or awards made by the counselors (Oscar, Ovation Award, Golden Cone, etc.). Certificates can be provided by the counselors of the units.

1. Competitions. If they take place on stage, then the requirements are similar to point 1. If they are held in parallel with any other event, they are registered as stations. Awards are usually given to those who take 1st, 2nd and 3rd place. In this case, it is better to use certificates printed in a printing house. Now they are sold in any bookstore. Gifts (most often edible) 2 DAYS BEFORE THE EVENT are issued by the conductors at the warehouse.
2. Games. Rarely do they need decoration, more often props are needed. But games such as “Green Heel”, “RVS”, “Ghost Catching” require registration. In the first case, it will be a “They are wanted” board with signs and portraits of “criminals”, in the second case - sheets for collecting information, in the third - cards with a task. Awards are given either according to nominations, or the first three places, or one winner.
3. Stations. First of all, it is necessary to make route sheets (done by the organizers), and secondly, to register each station (name, necessary details). The station manager is responsible for decorating the station)
4. Exhibitions, museums. If the event takes place on a single territory, it is designed as a stage. If in different buildings, it is necessary to make route sheets indicating the location of objects.

The award ceremony can take place on the same day directly at the event, at a thematic line-up or the next day.

Examples

1) Squad themed days

• Festival of the Sun. On this day, you can hold the following events: meeting and seeing off the sun, a competition for drawings of the sun on the asphalt or on the windows of the building, a series of games whose titles contain the word “Sun” - “Don’t Burn in the Sun”, “Family of the Sun”, a quiz on the topic knowledge about the Sun, a musical duel - who will sing more songs about the sun, creation of a collective application. -
• Tourist Day. On this day, you can hold a small competition KTD on the topic of tourism (example competitions: packing a backpack, drawing a map, lighting a fire, who will sing more tourist songs, etc.), the Evening of a bard song itself, and you can also go on a hike or hold a fire in forest by the fire.
• Nature Day. Invite the squad to create a wildlife museum. The exhibits will be themselves, depicting animals, trees or plants. You can come up with and draw tickets, attract a “guide” and let other groups go on an excursion for a special fee. If there are any animals in the camp area, you can make feeders for them. You can restore perfect order in any corner of the camp together with the “Pile of Garbage” competition, you can organize a competition of crafts from pine cones and branches, or a competition of fairy tales about nature.

You are free to choose a topic. It is best if the events are tied to the theme of the season or to a themed friendly day.

2) friendly themed days

• Day of Love. Usually consists of 2-3 squad events and 1 mandatory squad event. The purpose of the thematic day: development of communication skills, development of creative abilities, education in children of the basics of ethics and psychology of intersexual relations. Events: search for a soul mate, couples competition, registry office, disco, where slow dancing predominates. The post office is open throughout the day. The squad must conduct a thematic competition KTD “Love at first sight” to determine the participating couple in the squad event.
• Horror Day. The purpose of the thematic day: children to overcome subconscious fears, develop imagination and artistic abilities, applied arts skills, and get acquainted with the folklore of different countries. 2-3 squad events, 1-2 squad events. Events: stations, concert, scary story competition, fear room.
• Day of Leaders (Self-Government). The purpose of the thematic day: - introducing children to the lifestyle of counselors, promoting the student pedagogical movement, confirming the authority of counselors. Held at the end of the season. Events: Rally (concert on stage), Instructional seminar (stations), Bonfire.

Criteria for expert assessment of the thematic day:

• relevance and creativity of the theme day idea
• social and pedagogical significance of the goal, its specificity and clarity
• compliance of tasks with goals and results
• reality and achievability of the goal in given conditions, for a specific period of time
• clarity and specificity of results
• logic and feasibility of activities
• the degree of emotional and educational impact of the day's activities on children
• the degree of educational and developmental value of the day's activities for children
• compliance of assessment methods with specified results

Thematic shifts

Nowadays, any shift program should be thematic (at least have a bright name).

The longer the period, the more difficult it is to keep children on track with the topic (any topic gets boring sooner or later). Therefore, there is a difference between planning a short (autumn, winter, spring) and long (summer) shift.

Short shifts

On short shifts, every day is filled with thematic meaning. Each day can have its own sub-theme.

On the very first day, the children are presented with the legend of the shift, in the light of which all subsequent events will take on meaning.

For example: The evil sorcerer Lumpy stole the sunlight, and soon the earth will perish if we do not overcome all the trials and return the stolen light, and for this we will have to prove our friendliness, cheerfulness, show knowledge, etc.

Or: You and I found ourselves at an abandoned base of aliens who flew to Earth many years ago and left the secret of super technology somewhere here. We are an expedition designed to find this secret, but to do this we need to piece together the alien map and generally overcome all the obstacles that the cunning aliens have left here for conspiracy.

The legend is presented in a theatrical form or in the form of a game.

At the end of the shift, a final event takes place, where by joint efforts the final goal is finally achieved: the evil sorcerer Lumpy is defeated, the stolen sun is found, etc. - in a word, ALL WELL DONE!

For example Let’s consider the “10 days until the end of the world” shift. The legend and how it is introduced: On the first day in the evening, when the first light seems to be coming to an end, a counselor suddenly bursts into the hall and shouts “Did you see that?!” There's a huge fireball there! No? They have already flown away, alas, but this is what they left behind!” He gives the children an envelope with a letter from the aliens, which says something like this: “By decision of the Great Council of the Galactic Control, your planet will be destroyed in 10 days. However, perhaps you can still save her if you read our encrypted message, the symbols of which we scattered throughout your building using an information laser.” Next, the children must collect the letters that were previously posted in different places in the case. When the letters are found, they are used to form a “Semi-animated Pseudomind”. These words are entered into the computer, after which a sound file is launched containing a mysterious voice of an alien, broadcasting that the life of the creatures inhabiting the Earth seems meaningless, and the creatures themselves are unreasonable, and that the earth will be cleansed and used for breeding nutritious and beneficial worms. But perhaps the aliens will change their minds if we prove to them that our life is filled with meaning and eternal values ​​(sound file attached).

After this, during each day we prove the presence and importance of different eternal values ​​in our lives, thus each day acquires its own theme:

• Friendship Day (teaming games)
• Truth Day (detective game, spark of truthful words)
• Day of Fantasy Miracles (New Year (it was a winter shift!))
• Beauty Day (snow drawings, costume competition)
• Health Day (Super Olympics, demonstration “For a healthy lifestyle”)
• Day of Purity and Whiteness (snow sculptures, “Tide or Boil” story)
• Family Day (family competition)
• Welfare Day (economic game)
• Statehood Day (political game, presidential elections)
• Day of Love (Love at 1st sight, couples competition) And so on...

Big shifts

Here we will talk about drawing up a general camp thematic program. Squad plan-grids are drawn up by squad leaders and, if possible, also adjusted to the theme.

On a large shift, it is already difficult to summarize each day under a theme, so only the main general camp events are tied to the theme

The legend of the shift begins to be introduced in the units from the very first day, but the real beginning occurs at the opening of the shift. There, again, the show on the line and the leader’s performance explain everything popularly.

Shift discos are held approximately once every 3 days and are tied to holidays and big games.

At the end of the shift, if the topic requires, a final event is held.

It’s also worth thinking about all sorts of thematic features that will appear during the shift and will not let the children forget that their camp is not an ordinary boring shift, but a SUPER-MEGA-...

Cycle game.

You can make a cyclic game, stretched over the entire period of the camp. This is done like this: choose a topic that interests you. Break it down into separate, meaningful pieces (game day). The volume of the game is 3-5 hours of play per day (it’s even more interesting to play it in chunks throughout the day). The rest of the time is preparation for the current or next game day. For example, crafts, reading. When the game is well thought out, every day is written down, the result of the current game day is always written out (you can sum up the day at the evening fire, you can continue the game at the fire), then the camp flies by in one breath. Any topic can be used for any game... no need to reinvent the wheel here. There is no need to invent a super-duper unprecedented game that will incredibly captivate children. This is impossible. The main thing is to live this camp side by side with them. Live this game with them.

Thematic change principle

• We are creating a children's team, i.e. a group of children who are friends with each other, treat each other like brothers and sisters. Therefore, with external competition, the main emphasis in everything is on the interaction of children in the team, mutual assistance and support (the counselor does not focus on winning, the children are doing well with this). We change teams every time.
• Since life is a multifaceted subject, then when dividing we plan multifaceted, i.e. We try to cover as many different interesting moments of life as possible (or find such interesting moments in the ordinary and familiar).
• A tool was created with which any (even a novice) counselor could easily create a plan for the day and implement it. It didn’t work out that way, because if the counselor has a complex and doesn’t play into all the proposed circumstances, then it turns out to be quite boring. And if he plays, and even makes himself some kind of costume, it turns out very, very good.

Idea for a themed day

The idea of ​​the principle is used in some television programs and is as follows: when creating an information television program interesting for viewers, several identical blocks were taken and they were lost every day (sports, music, etc.), only their information content changed. Due to the fact that there were many blocks, their content changed, it became interesting to watch. This idea is now used in all morning news channels.

Transferring this idea to camp life turned out like this: we make the day themed. We have three periods “morning”, “day” and “evening” when we can do things with the children. Therefore, we do this: “morning” - learning some knowledge specific to a given day, gaining skills and training, “day” - holding a thematic relay race around the camp and “evening” - holding a thematic KVN.

The word “relay race” refers to the passage of a team of children along a route along a map on which the places where the stages are located are marked. Teams simultaneously run out from the starting point and go through all the stages in order, but the initial stages are shifted and the teams meet only while running from stage to stage. One counselor runs with each team; at each stage, he explains the task and controls its implementation.

“KVN” is understood as an event in which several teams participate, they are given tasks, and either the entire team completes it, or part of the team, or one participant at a time. It is assumed that the teams are not running anywhere. The counselors carry out this activity, and at the time of preparation they help their teams. After KVN we leave KVN materials (crosswords, assignments, drawings, etc.) in the “corner”, so by the end of the shift there is a complete “corner” with the history of the shift. Teams retain their composition for one day. We usually have two, three or four teams, since everything is calculated based on the fact that there is no one except the squad leaders. Four teams are obtained when the counselors of two neighboring squads spend a themed day together (this way we get teams in which children from two squads are mixed and they become friends). On another day, the composition of the teams changes.

Thematic session ideas:

• “Sea voyage” (ships with crews, sailors, captains, sea, anchor, bell, etc.)
• "Children's Town" (city hall, streets, residents, enterprises, city currency...)
• “Fairy-tale kingdom” (king, queen, retinue, fairy-tale heroes...)
• “Forest State” (berendey, forest inhabitants...)
• “Joint-stock company” (JSC, shareholders, shares, exchanges, board of directors...)
• “Space flight” (galaxies, planets, spaceships, astronauts...)
• "Indian tribe" (chief, wigwam, mascot...)
• “Ecological camp” (green patrol, ecologists...)
• "Children's television" (TV stations, TV shows, TV channels, director, producer...)
• “Theater shift” (theater, troupe, actors, intermission...)
• “Scientific laboratory” (research institute, professor, designer, engineer, inventor, model, layout...)
• “City of Craftsmen” (masters, workshops, devices, tools...)