Health

Pride, vanity and pride. How to get rid of pride - advice from a psychologist

Pride inspires a person with confidence in his own superiority over others. This may be due to position in society, skin color, external beauty, outstanding abilities and other things. Pride is characterized by complete focus on one's own person. The opinion of others, if it differs from his point of view, is not perceived sensibly. Pride leads to hatred and prejudice. A complete focus on oneself does not allow a person to see the beauty in others.

Before you fight pride, you should find out if you really have this quality. This understanding alone is the first step on the path of your awareness. The presence of pride is very easy to determine by the following signs:

  • Concentration only on yourself. The proud person bases all his conversations around "I" and "Mine". For him, the world is divided into two unequal parts - "OH" and everyone around. Moreover, those around him are something insignificant, unworthy of his attention.
  • Contempt of others and admiration for oneself. A person struck by exorbitant pride remembers those around him only for the purpose of comparison in a favorable light for himself. He revels in his own fantasies and feeds his ego: ungrateful, weak, stupid people. Against the background of them, he feels his superiority. However, at the same time, a proud person can never experience true happiness, since he does not know how to truly rejoice.
  • Confidence that he is always right. A proud person believes that he is always right and proves his opinion without listening to the arguments of others.
  • Constantly judging people. Such a person always focuses his attention on the shortcomings of people. And often criticizes them for their choice, actions, external data, and so on. At the same time, he likes to show himself in the best light, saying that he would never do that.
  • Likes to give advice where it is not asked. Strive to always point out, ridicule, condemn. "You're cutting bread wrong! Do you have crooked hands? - a person with pride can say with a sneer. And he doesn't care that no one asked his opinion.
  • Can't admit their mistakes. If something did not work out for a proud person, he made a mistake, he will blame others for this: those around him, circumstances, and so on. But he never admits that the mistake was his fault.
  • Can't play. The proud man cannot tolerate that someone is better than him, even the thought of it brings him much pain. Therefore, a frequent strategy of such a person is to find flaws in an opponent and humiliate him.
  • Demanding and commanding tone. Often the asshole screams and gets annoyed at people, unable to restrain negative emotions. To be rude, to order, to demand, to shout - this is his usual manner of communicating with people around him.
  • Boastfulness and arrogance. A proud person considers himself the best, likes to brag about his achievements. He will confidently prove that he knows how to live and what to strive for.
  • Loneliness. In the end, such a person remains lonely, because proud people cause others pity, anger and bewilderment. You don't want to keep in touch with them. Few people like to feel an order of magnitude lower and listen to constant complaints. Pride destroys even the closest, warmest relationships.


A proud person becomes a prisoner of fictitious principles that say:

  • build relationships on the principle of inequality;
  • to be the best;
  • lead everyone;
  • ignore the opinions of others;
  • do not forgive other people's mistakes;
  • take any help for granted, because of the inability to be grateful;
  • subject others to unreasonable criticism;
  • be vindictive;
  • to assert oneself at the expense of others (in various ways);
  • not admitting your mistakes, and, therefore, depriving yourself of the opportunity to learn from them.

Unfortunately, the proud are lonely people. They can't find any friends. Because they don't know how to be friends. They are not able to care, to put the interests of others above their own, to sacrifice themselves for the sake of someone. Such manifestations are completely alien to them.

Common Causes

No one is born with the pathology of pride. This is an acquired quality in the process of life.

The most common cause of pride is wrong upbringing. When parents inspire their child that he is better than all his peers and never punish him for mistakes, the baby does not learn to accept criticism and analyze his actions. Such children do not understand that they have flaws, like all people who need to be work. They consider themselves special, celestials.

You need to praise the child, but you should not inspire him that he is the best. Superiority over others is a source of pride and inflated self-esteem. A child, entering adulthood, faces a wall of misunderstanding. People around him cannot tolerate his consumer attitude. For his actions, he throws off the burden of responsibility and puts it on the shoulders of others. Such a person is completely unsuitable for life in society.

In addition, arrogance and arrogance, the accompanying qualities of pride, develop under the presence of the following reasons:

  • Special status or innate talents. There are people who are born with bright talents, thanks to which they achieve success quite quickly. Some of them, having gained fame, big day, begin to consider themselves better than the rest. People who do not have great talents, but to whom fame and money fall on their heads, can come to the same conclusions. And this is often enough for the appearance of pride.
  • Defensive reaction. Low self-esteem can become a provocateur of ostentatious pride. The fear of being ridiculed leads a person to the fact that he begins to be clever and ostentatiously rise. Often this maneuver looks stupid and ridiculous.
  • Aristocracy. Expressions such as "white bone" and "blue blood" indicate that there are individuals who consider themselves ideals descended from heaven. They take pride in their pedigree or the social position their parents hold.

There are many reasons for the development of pride. A person can become proud even with the little toe on his left foot. Pride is visible both in powerful and high-ranking people, and in the poor and disadvantaged. It is not surprising, because for the most part the ambitions and conceit of the proud are unjustified.

But whatever the reasons for the presence of this negative trait, there is only one way to combat it, requiring maximum and everyday efforts. To get out of the strong snares of pride, it is important to want this.


According to psychologists, pride is a vice that gradually leads to extensive degradation of the personality. Therefore, it is worth seriously thinking about how to overcome a character trait that distorts the worldview.

So, the following methods will help to get rid of this vice and rehabilitate as a person:

  1. Recognition of the existing problem. A sober look at your behavior from the outside will be the first step towards the correct formation of your own personality.
  2. Analysis of personal qualities. Write down your strengths and weaknesses. If you are honest with yourself, you will see that you also have shortcomings, you can hardly succeed in something. This will help you to identify the groundlessness and absurdity of your own claims to others.
  3. Be mindful of other people's feelings. Everyone has the right to express their opinion, but this should not be confused with tactlessness. No need to climb where they are not asked, to convey their opinion through insults and humiliation. All this is called moral violence. And you are the rapist. The culture of communication lies in tolerance and tact. The interlocutor must feel it. Working on politeness, you can read Dale Carnegie's outstanding work How to Win Friends.
  4. Keeping a personal diary. It is recommended to describe the negative consequences of manifestations of pride, as well as successes in the fight against it. A month later, it will be possible to compare their successes and achievements. This will give strength to continue to deal with the problem.
  5. Teaching true humility. A humble person does not try to jump above his own head. He knows his weaknesses and works hard on them. He does not go to the extreme of self-flagellation if something does not work out. A humble attitude helps you focus on the problem itself, not on yourself. This allows you to control and not complicate the situation.
  6. Refusal to evaluate others. Understanding that others do not have to adapt to your invented norms and criteria will help you stop looking for faults in others.
  7. Selfless altruism. It implies caring for others, focusing on their problems and a desire to help them. Altruism is a great tool in the fight against pride. It helps to expand your social circle and find true friends.
  8. Healthy acceptance of criticism. The advice of loved ones can be invaluable support and timely help. Therefore, it is important to be able to accept them. A person who knows how to listen wins the favor of others.
  9. Dirty work. People who consider themselves celestials will never do work below their level. To overcome pride, you can take on the dirty work yourself. For example, do a general cleaning in the house or dig up a garden. And it is better to get a job as a cleaner for a month.
  10. Rejection of flattering people. Flattery can cause pride even in humble people who hear how they are constantly fawning before them. Such communication is harmful, developing arrogance and arrogance. Therefore, you should stay away from insincere friends.

How to overcome pride (video)

From the video you will learn how to get rid of this harmful feeling.

Any of the above methods to combat pride is available to every person. The main thing is to have a continuous desire to change as a person and to establish friendly contact with others. If you remember that pride takes a lot of vital energy and emotional strength, then getting rid of it will be much easier. No one wants to waste themselves in vain, receiving in return only negative emotions. Freed from this life-clouding quality, you will be surprised how quickly people who want to make friends with you will reach out to you.

Pride, despite belonging to the list of deadly sins, has been successfully cultivated in modern man since childhood. Getting rid of such a securely grafted feature can be very, very difficult. But how to do it?

Where does pride come from

Pride grows out of vanity. At first, a person is trying with all his might to seem better than he is, to play in public. During this period, all his thoughts are aimed at gaining some authority, popularity, recognition. It is easy to notice the distinctive features of such a person. This:

  • constant attempts to justify themselves (“It’s not my fault that I lost my documents. It was you who distracted me, and I forgot about them”);
  • love for "reincarnations" (at home it is a vengeful, grumpy and petty person, in public - an "angel in the flesh" helping everyone);
  • boasting (such a person will demonstrate a new outfit by any means, briefly mention a happy personal life, inadvertently recall career successes).

It would seem that there is nothing terrible in such a manner of behavior, but if a person lives in a cocoon of self-adoration, then sooner or later he falls into the net of pride.

Pride - what is it

A proud person loses touch with reality. It seems to such a person that the people around him think only about him, look only at him and all the time evaluate his actions - and certainly in a positive way (and whoever deviates from this course is just a petty envious person). It is conditionally possible to define pride as an inflated self-esteem that creates a barrier that distorts appearances between a person and the world. It manifests itself with the following symptoms:

  • ingratitude;
  • disrespect for other people, lack of understanding of the value of their personal time;
  • inattention to loved ones;
  • desire to live at the expense of others;
  • anger at those who are superior to the proud in some way;
  • lack of a critical look at their shortcomings;
  • the desire to please everyone;
  • confidence in their independence from any external will, be it God, the Universe, Fate.

A proud person and a self-confident person are two big differences. The first considers himself worthy of all the best only for the very fact of his "wonderfulness", the second - works hard and adequately assesses his abilities.

Sometimes pride takes a slightly different form and disguises itself under the guise of self-abasement. You can often meet people who revel in their grief, bad luck, poverty, etc. for years. Such a “werewolf” is no better than a narcissist: they are just different poles of the same quality.

The snowball of pride increases gradually. But sooner or later, the stage of megalomania sets in, when there is only one big and important “I” in the whole world.

5 ways to get rid of pride

A person who decides to re-educate himself may face a huge number of difficulties, in particular arising from his own internal resistance. It is very difficult to part with pride, because people literally grow together with it and cannot separate themselves from this destructive quality.

To get rid of pride, you should practice the following “exercises” daily:

  1. Do the "dirty work". Some highly professional doctors in the evenings perform the functions of junior medical staff in the hospital, for example, they take out ducks for bedridden patients. Everyone has an idea of ​​what kind of occupation is considered “humiliating” - it is from this business that one should begin to eradicate pride. Doing "unworthy" work is great for grounding and reduces self-importance.
  2. Bow. Bowing is not only a conditional expression of respect for people, but also an ancient spiritual practice. The bowing person subconsciously humbles his mind and recognizes others as worthy of respect. In everyday life, you can simply imagine bowing without showing it outwardly. But left alone with yourself, it is recommended to perform real worship, the object of which is permissible to choose anything: both God and all of humanity. When making a bow, you should cleanse your heart and get rid of bad thoughts.
  3. Be attentive to the speaker. The ability not only to listen, but also to hear the interlocutor is a great science. It is necessary not only to perceive the flow of someone's words, mentally immediately isolating from them, but to try to delve into what was said, while experiencing sadness or joy along with the speaker. Answers should not be rushed: they should be meaningful, not spoken out of politeness.
  4. Thank. It is important not only to learn to say the on-duty "thank you", but to begin to experience true gratitude. After all, so many others deserve it: from cashiers in a supermarket to close relatives. When the mind begins to perceive people not only as some functional units, but also as personalities worthy of empathy, this will mean another defeat of pride.
  5. Accept other people. Every person has certain features that annoy or dislike others. You just need to come to terms with this. There is no way to remake a person at his own discretion: everyone has the right to live as he wants. Therefore, you should turn off the “condemn immediately” function and just accept people as they are.

You can either perform the entire complex of "spiritual gymnastics" at once, or choose any one practice and, having brought it to perfection, switch to the next one. In the process of getting rid of pride, at first you will have to control yourself all the time, but then the trained behavior will become a habit.

A person without pride lives much easier than with it. There is no need to waste energy on maintaining an illusory superiority, looking around and worrying about someone's sidelong glances. So - less pride, gentlemen!

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The content of the article:

Pride is excessive self-confidence, arrogance and arrogance of a person who puts himself a step above the rest. With this vice, a person quite often considers himself undeservedly offended, worries if his talents are not praised, and he himself often behaves boorishly with others. Even the Bible condemns pride, referring it to the seven deadly sins. An overestimated ego in most cases makes it difficult to adequately assess the existing reality, therefore it is necessary to get rid of such an attitude towards oneself and society.

The main reasons for the development of pride

The formation of arrogance and arrogance is usually based on the following factors:

  • Wrong parenting model. Some parents inspire children from childhood that they are better in all respects than their peers. As a result, the child grows up as an egoist, who already at a more mature age begins to consider himself a celestial.
  • Luck in everything. There is such a category of people whom Fortune loves. A person begins to perceive luck in life as a due fact, attributing it to his exceptional abilities and eventually becoming an arrogant person.
  • Having a bright appearance. Beautiful people are quite often frankly proud of their outstanding external data. And they do not miss the opportunity to get the maximum benefit, as well as emphasize their superiority over the rest. In especially severe cases, they exalt themselves so much that they almost completely lose touch with others, because they are not able to withstand an arrogant attitude and narcissism.
  • Activation of the protective mechanism. Low self-esteem can also lead to ostentatious pride, just like good looks. Afraid of being ridiculed, a person with complexes begins to demonstrate his "unique" mental abilities and put himself above ordinary people.
  • Living in metropolitan areas. Some snobs, having their homes in large cities, openly make it clear to the provincials that they are second-class people for them. The arrogant persons demonstrate their superiority over them, sometimes without even having an education and a prestigious job.
  • Aristocratic roots. The reasons for pride often lie precisely in this factor. The well-known expressions "blue blood" and "white bone" in themselves indicate that some people consider themselves the elite of society.

Important! Whatever the origins of the formation of pride, it is rather difficult to call such people pleasant persons. They have practically no friends, because few people like a dismissive attitude towards themselves.

Man's manifestations of pride


It is not difficult to calculate people with the described warehouse of character, because they behave defiantly and in some cases even aggressively:
  1. Ignoring other people's opinions. Reflections of relatives and strangers are not just not listened to, but are initially refuted by arrogant people. For people with pride, there are no authorities, except from the point of view of their own person.
  2. Striving to be the first. It can even be said that a person with a similar disposition of character does not try to seem the best of the best, but considers himself as such. Rivalry arises only if there is an equally proud person in his way.
  3. Unreasonable criticism of people. The imperfection of everyone and everyone is quite clearly formulated by a person with an informal behavior model. The illusion of grandeur leads him ultimately to hardness of heart and a complete lack of tact when communicating with the interlocutor.
  4. selfishness. Proud people usually go to extremes, believing themselves to be either the center of the universe, or having many hidden complexes. At the first problem, it is very difficult to maintain contact with such a person, because he is capable of doing unworthy acts in order to satisfy his own needs.
  5. Desire to lead everyone. Considering even the immediate environment as small people, people with signs of pride try to become leaders in any team. Power in this case goes beyond all the boundaries of permissible moral norms, causing discontent among the most peaceful persons who are faced with such an attitude towards themselves.
  6. Failure to be grateful. The proud take signs of attention to their person as a due event. Dividing people according to statuses and categories, they do not consider themselves obligated to anyone because they are assigned to a lower rank in society.
  7. Vanity. If an individual has such a quality as pride, he cannot calmly observe happy and successful people. Consequently, persons with a bad and arrogant character will try to assert themselves at the expense of others in all spheres of human activity.
  8. Boasting. To show off in front of a large audience is a hallmark of the proud. Many of their stories about everyday life, love affairs and rapid career growth actually turn out to be banal lies or undeniable embellishments of facts.
  9. Pathos. If a person has pride, all his speeches will be filled with magnificent phrases and complex terms. With such a demonstration of intelligence and erudition, they are trying to show their education, emphasizing that it was received in a well-known and prestigious educational institution.

Ways to deal with pride in yourself

Psychologists say that such a defect over time can lead to complete degradation of the individual. Therefore, it is necessary to seriously think about how to get rid of the existing problem.

Work on yourself while showing pride


A person cannot cope on his own only with those pathologies that seriously distort his vision of the world and his place in it. In other cases, you can put on the agenda the following ways to rehabilitate yourself as a person:
  • Recognition that there is a problem. The first step to realizing your dream of becoming a full member of society should be the decision to observe your own behavior from the outside. Pride is not an innate feature of character, because they do not appear with such a vice, but form it in themselves during their lives.
  • Analysis of your own ambitions. After recognizing the existence of a certain problem, it is necessary to understand what exactly irritates a person in other people. You can limit communication with such personalities without projecting their shortcomings onto literally every person. However, in most cases, a detailed analysis shows the groundlessness of personal claims against most people.
  • Keeping a diary. It is recommended to divide it into two parts, which will describe the positive aspects of pride and the negative consequences of its occurrence. After a week of observation in this way, many people will be unpleasantly surprised by the comparison of both sections of the diary.
  • Teaching Humility. This quality helps a lot in life, because a person does not try to jump above his head. However, the proud man should not go to extremes and try to engage in self-flagellation instead of understanding his actions, while becoming a puppet in the hands of some unscrupulous personalities.
  • Refusal to evaluate people. The inner circle of the obstinate and strangers to him are not at all obliged to comply with his criteria of morality and fictitious norms of behavior in society. In response to such a desire to change acquaintances or colleagues, he will receive only a wave of negativity, which can be prevented by abstracting from other people's shortcomings.
  • Politeness training. The culture of communication implies tolerance and a sense of tact towards the interlocutor. This rule should become a law for a person with a vice in the form of pride. You can also read Dale Carnegie's The Language of Success, How to Win People, and How to Win Friends.
  • Work on self-realization. It is necessary not to suffer from delusions of grandeur, but in fact to work on yourself daily. Proud people often have a feeling of envy towards more successful people. Such a negative surge of emotions will not happen to them only if they themselves take place as individuals.
  • Accepting constructive criticism. It is difficult not to respond to any insult with some kind of taunt, but with wise advice, you must learn to listen to them. In some cases, someone else's experience is invaluable information. In addition, people are attracted to an interlocutor who knows how to listen and respects their opinion.
  • Altruism. Such a confrontation with one's own selfishness will be an excellent means of combating pride. In addition, changes in behavior in this direction will allow you to expand your social circle and make real friends.
  • Doing dirty work. Some people who consider themselves the elite of society refuse to do any activities that are unpleasant for them. If you want to get rid of pride, you can work in the garden or do the general cleaning in the house yourself. A new stage in life has come when it is necessary to forget about the old habits of the white hand.
  • Rejection of flattering friends. Pride can appear even in a tolerant person, before whom hypocritical friends openly fawn. This is done both out of a desire to get closer to a more popular person in society, and for selfish purposes. Such communication will bring nothing but harm, therefore it is necessary to stay away from insincere people.
  • Using the Prayer of Repentance. This method of getting rid of pride will help believing parishioners. In addition, while reading it, the soul calms down, and all gloomy thoughts leave the mind. The words of the prayer can be arbitrary, provided that they come from the heart itself.
Any of the proposed ways to eliminate pride in one's soul is an accessible method for every person. The main thing at the same time is to have the desire to correct the situation and establish contact with people around you.

Help from psychologists if you want to get rid of pride


In parallel with your own attempts to change your life for the better, you can put into practice the following tips from experts:
  1. The method of mental bows. This method is quite popular in Asian countries, where there are also enough proud people. When meeting even with a person of lower status and prosperity, it is necessary to bow to her in the mind. In this way, an act of respect will be performed that effectively combats the ambitions of an arrogant individual.
  2. Projection Method. If you have pride, you must mentally imagine the internal dialogue of your friends. In a conversation with them, some half-hints of dissatisfaction with the haughty behavior clearly slipped through. Thinking unflatteringly about other people, one should assume what opinion they may have about an arrogant person on their part.
  3. Analysis-matching. Anti-heroes of all times and peoples have always been proud, even with their existing complexes. This list can start with Lucifer (Satan) and end with dictators who are guilty of the destruction of a huge number of people. A small percentage of patients after such a session with a psychotherapist with an accompanying thematic conversation will want to be like people with negative energy.
  4. Perishable Glory Analysis Method. A minute of triumph at the expense of humiliating another person is not worth the loneliness in the future after condemnation by the inner circle. When asked how to get rid of pride, one should make a virtual journey into the future in order to descend from heaven to earth and soberly assess one's attitude towards people.
  5. The principle of "inside is equal to outside". Some external factors need to be changed in parallel with the correction of one's own "I". You can change the situation for a while, replacing it with more modest apartments. It is also recommended to review your diet, replacing expensive delicacies with cheaper healthy foods.
  6. group therapy. In some cases, experts recommend that proud people communicate with people with the same problem. Someone else's bitter experience is often perceived better than learning from your own mistakes. During such sessions, patients talk about themselves, recognizing the presence of arrogance and arrogance in their character.
How to get rid of pride - look at the video:


The question posed to oneself, how to deal with pride, already testifies to a person’s desire to change his life and attitude towards other people. It remains only to listen to the voiced recommendations in order to get rid of the existing problem of a personal nature once and for all.

Pride is a sense of worth and uniqueness that comes from being elevated above others. This overdeveloped EGO gives rise to arrogance, contempt, condemnation, a desire to humiliate. The reason for the feeling of self-importance or pride (it's arrogance, it's vanity) is simple and complex at the same time. Adler's research proved that a person is driven by an innate inferiority complex. It is in the innate inferiority complex that the basis for the emergence of subsequent pride lies. From this point of view, pride acts as “psychological crutches” that help a person maintain his own self-esteem.

A large EGO brings us closer to the state of the Creator, in which we can maximize our potential, this is its bright side. The dark side of the EGO is falling into an illusion in which a person separates himself from the world and even opposes himself to it. The presence of inflamed pride can be recognized by the signs:

  • The desire to always be right in everything.
  • The desire to always win.
  • The desire to act solely from their own interests.
  • The desire to be responsible for the actions and destinies of others.
  • Not accepting any advice.
  • If you provide help, then "from above."
  • Willingness to give advice when not asked.
  • Categorical in their statements and judgments.
  • Inability to sincerely thank other people.

As a result of pride, we can have a large collection of resentment and disappointment in people. Such a person feels internal tension in communicating with other people and regularly gets into conflicts.

Pride control technology

  • Method number 1. Do the "dirty" work. A job that you consider below your dignity. This very well "grounds" a sense of self-importance.
  • Method number 2. Thought tributes. When meeting a person, mentally bow to him. Bows from ancient times were rituals of respect for the other against the background of downplaying their significance.
  • Method number 3. Maximum attention to the speaker. First try to understand and then to be understood. Silently listen to the speaker and do not answer immediately. Try to understand the meaning of each word.
  • Method number 4. Acceptance of other people. Other people don't have to be the way you want them to be. Accept people with all their characteristics, even if you don't like something.
  • Method number 5. Give thanks every day! Even the most minimal action directed towards you, meet with gratitude coming from the heart.

Choose one of these methods every morning and practice it throughout the day. Methods that are simple in nature, deep and effective in content. The results will appear in the form of positive emotions: inspiration and gratitude, joy and satisfaction.

And no more pride!

Proud people quite often pay severely for the features of their character. It is more difficult for them to build relationships, it is more difficult to get along with colleagues and friends. That is why the question of how to get rid of pride appears among many owners of this character trait. It’s just that it’s extremely difficult to do this for one simple reason: in order to get rid of pride, you need to recognize it as your shortcoming, and the owner of such a character trait, in his own opinion, can only have advantages. At least he thinks so himself.

Harm of pride

Before we learn how to overcome pride, we will try to understand, is it so or is it terrible? In fact, this quality allows a person not to stoop to complexes. A person is confident in his own strengths, intellectual abilities, external data.

However, the same-root words pride and pride have a huge difference. In the first case, we are talking about a natural quality that helps a person not to stoop to communicate with those who offended him, not to get on the slippery path of deceit or lust. A proud person always has principles, strong life beliefs.

What does the possessor of pride have? In fact, such a feature creates only problems, and here are just the main ones:

  • a person is not able to recognize any of his shortcomings, even if they really exist;
  • it is difficult for him to put up with the criticism of others, because it seems to the proud man that he is perfect;
  • it is difficult for a person with pride to build a full-fledged and long-term relationship, because he is not able to compromise;
  • such a person often faces career problems, because his desire to demonstrate his superiority irritates colleagues and superiors;
  • often the proud man turns out to be lonely, because even the closest people cannot endure his overestimated self-esteem.

The difference between pride and pride is huge. All people possess the first quality by nature. It allows you to rationally evaluate criticism addressed to you, communicate with others on an equal footing, but quickly respond to intentional offense. Pride is an exaggerated sense of one's own superiority over the whole world, which often manifests itself in selfishness and narcissism.

It is not for nothing that pride is considered one of the deadly sins, because it does not allow a person to fully develop, blocks all the positive qualities of a person, replacing them with tangible shortcomings.

Causes of pride

Psychologists always advise you to analyze your own life in order to find the cause of the deficiency, and only then proceed to fight it. Most often, pride arises through the fault of the closest people, namely parents.

From childhood, a child can be told that he is the best, extraordinary, unique. Constant attention and admiration leads to inflated self-esteem, and it eventually breeds pride. The child literally lives with a golden spoon in his mouth and a crown on his head, which prevents him from sensibly assessing his own strengths and weaknesses.

What other reasons for the development of pride can be named?

Let's try to figure out why the natural pride inherent in everyone suddenly degenerates into pride. Let's start with the fact that people always have some aspirations. A successful marriage, a good career, an ideal appearance - when a person manages to achieve what he wants, he suddenly feels his own uniqueness, the improbability of a perfect deed. As a result, his self-esteem grows.

Any criticism of others is perceived as elementary envy of one's own person. A person sincerely believes that he is better than those around him, therefore he allows himself disparaging communication with relatives and friends.

Psychologists note that pride does not develop overnight. This feeling gradually matures in a person, and only over time results in inflated self-esteem, mixed with selfishness. As a result, a person ceases to see the line between rational self-praise and elementary rudeness towards others.

Pride can also be a defense mechanism. Let's say a child who was often offended at school and not appreciated by his parents suddenly achieves success in his career or personal life. Now he has a smart car, a nice apartment. However, instead of enjoying it, he begins to show off his achievements to others in all available ways. Pride here acts as a defense mechanism that makes a person less vulnerable to previous complexes.

Having understood the basics of this negative quality, a person can proceed to fight it.

How to deal with the problem and destroy pride

How to deal with pride against the will of a person is a fairly common question asked by relatives and relatives of a person subject to a negative quality. They see how the changes happened to a close friend and try to fix it. However, it is impossible to succeed without the support of the proud man himself.

If a person does not accept his own shortcomings, does not notice them, then all methods of struggle are absolutely meaningless. From outside influences, self-esteem can even become further aggravated. The proud man will think that those around him have long been envious, they specifically resorted to the help of a psychologist, which will only spoil the relationship.

If a person himself has realized his own shortcomings, you can proceed to the methods of psychological therapy. Which of them are the most effective?

  1. Learn to accept the shortcomings of other people and get rid of value judgments.

In a proud person, everyone around them turns out to be either fools or losers. As soon as he stops labeling others, it will become much easier to communicate with people. First you need to learn how to hide your thoughts, and then try to focus on the merits of a person, and not on his shortcomings.

Yes, not all colleagues can please a person with pride. Yes, his soulmate can have very significant flaws. However, all people are not perfect. One should come to terms with this fact, as well as with the fact that not everyone around is able to perceive the greatness of the proudest himself.

  1. Appropriately evaluate your achievements.

Often a person is faced with pride when he begins to make progress in business, in creativity, or simply acquires real estate. It seems to him that he is the king of the world, but is it really so? Psychologists advise to adequately approach the assessment of their own achievements. Yes, a person has really achieved something, but on the scale of the whole world, in which more than six billion people live, this is not so noticeable. Such rationality of judgments helps not only to humble pride, but also to awaken the desire to follow a new dream, and not stop there.

  1. Learn to listen to criticism.

This is a very important and difficult aspect. It is difficult for everyone to perceive criticism, because both a notorious and proud person has certain shortcomings. The last thing he wants is to be pointed out to him. That is why the proud man believes that any negative attacks against him do not deserve attention, because this is elementary envy and nothing more. However, rational criticism will help a person to notice their own problems and get rid of them.

  1. Learn to love loved ones.

It has already been noted above that a proud person can be extremely stupid. He simply does not understand that he offends those who love him with his arrogance. This is due to the fact that such a person is simply not capable of a great serious feeling.

That is why it is so important for him to learn to love at least those who are always there and ready to support. Yes, these people have flaws, but they are what make them personalities.

Pride cannot disappear just like that, in one day. Most often, this feeling continues to sharpen a person from the inside for many years. It makes him doubt the correctness of the decisions made, the rational assessment of others.

However, this feeling gradually disappears completely. Sometimes psychologists resort to shock therapy. They inspire a person that the aspect that affects the development of pride (ideal appearance, high financial position, and so on) has suddenly disappeared. What will a person do in this case, what will he be left with? Shock therapy makes us understand that each of us, like the world around us, is not perfect. That is why a person cannot have a rational reason for praising himself while humiliating others.

How to prevent the recurrence of pride

Suppose a person has understood how to deal with excessive and all-consuming pride. He managed to control his own selfishness and apologized to those close to him. However, how to prevent repeated outbreaks of such negativity. Here psychologists give the following advice:

How to get rid of excessive pride, but not to lose it completely, is also an important question. Often struggling with such a mortal sin, a person rushes to extremes, forgetting about an elementary sense of self-worth. You don't need to do this.

Psychologists advise to find this fine line between self-respect and bragging. Once a person succeeds, it will be much easier for him to communicate with the world and society. It will be easier for such a person to make friends, find a common language with colleagues and build a successful career.

Often proud people end up all alone. They can be fabulously wealthy, respected citizens of society. However, their excessive pathos, mixed with selfishness, prevents others from sincerely loving such people. Is it worth the excessive pride of chronic loneliness - it is up to the person himself to decide.

Elena, St. Petersburg