Love is the most beautiful and important feeling in our life. However, any, even the best relationship can be destroyed due to a lack of trust between lovers. To save your love, you need to learn to trust your loved one.
According to bioenergetics and psychics, in addition to the physical body, a person also has subtle bodies - astral and mental. Life energy permeates these bodies in a free flow, concentrating in active energy centers called chakras.
When nothing interferes with the flow of energy flow, a person's energy is in a harmonious and healthy state. But if a blockage of energy occurs in one of the chakras, then the subtle body begins to deplete, and after a while its negative state begins to affect the physical and emotional health of a person.
Lack of trust between loving people on the subtle plane looks like a block on the green Anahata chakra. It is located in the chest area and is responsible for feelings and emotional sensations.
Positive emotions nourish Anahata and accumulate positive emotional energy, while negative emotions deplete the energy flow of the heart chakra. Lack of trust and suspicion of a loved one most of all weaken the vital energy, “heavier” it.
Ultimately, a powerful block is formed on Anahata, which over time can begin to negatively affect the functioning of the heart. You can save the situation by resolving problems in relationships - energy, psychological and actual.
How to learn trust
If an unpleasant situation has occurred in your relationship, resentment or betrayal that interferes with trust, then first of all you need to weigh all the pros or cons of such a relationship and decide for yourself whether you can forgive and forget past grievances for the sake of your love.
If the internal answer is negative, you should not step over yourself and your self-respect. It is difficult to change the circumstances of your life, but liberation from the constant fear of a repetition of the situation and distrust of this is definitely worth it.
If you understand that you are able to forgive past grievances, then the lost trust should be returned. This requires the efforts of not only the "guilty side", but also yours. Without your willingness to work on your feelings, the lost trust will never return. Relationships that have cracked can be repaired in several ways:
- harmonization;
- affirmations for love and understanding;
- joint visit to a family psychologist.
If everything is in order in your relationship, and trust in your loved one has disappeared by itself, then this indicates a blockage of the heart chakra. Its cause may be:
- damage or love spell on you or your partner;
- imbalance of male and female energy.
In any of these cases, only you can help your relationship. To regain lost trust in your partner, you need to understand what situation you are most afraid of and honestly tell your loved one about it. After the conversation, write down your feelings, new thoughts and conclusions in a notebook and set aside for two to three days.
After this period, re-read what was written with a “fresh look” and compare the sensations that have arisen with those written. Make another note, even if it seems to you that nothing has changed significantly. Continue to analyze and write down your thoughts, sorting out your fear, for two to three weeks.
If your soulmate really did not give you a reason to distrust, then after a while you will notice how your feelings have changed in comparison with the very first entry. This method is effective in relation to any fears, phobias and doubts associated with a strong emotional experience.
To gain confidence in yourself and your future, meditation-search for a life path will help you. We wish you mutual love and only positive emotions. Be happy and don't forget to press the buttons and
03.05.2017 04:04
Toxic relationships bring more problems and frustration than happiness and joy. They are often compared to...
How to build trust in a relationship and how to learn to trust a man. Useful tips from a psychologist to help you deal with a rather difficult situation.
Trust is the basis for intimate relationships. In a sense, this gives a sense of stability between partners. Trust is based on a mutual understanding of what partners expect from each other.
Mature partners clearly know how to define thin boundaries that separate acceptable behavior in a relationship and some taboos that are prohibited. What does this mean? To clarify, if you are sure that your partner will not go beyond some certain limits, your level of trust in him and the feeling will increase. Defining such boundaries is extremely important, because without it we cannot fully trust our partner.
There are many relationship models. However, to build a relationship based on trust, you must follow these guidelines:
1. Be open about your expectations
When we are intoxicated with love, partners pay attention only to mutual similarities and "turn a blind eye" to the partner's many shortcomings that can lead to conflict. For example, what do you define for yourself under the concept of treason? We can't usually read other people's minds. And we cannot know what betrayal means for each person, what line he draws between temporary infatuation and betrayal in a relationship. Which actions of a partner can be considered cheating, and which are not. You must discuss in advance what types of behavior are acceptable to you and what is not.
Why women don't trust men
2. Don't be afraid to speak up about your suspicions.
It is not healthy or helpful when people keep quiet about their fears and suspicions of a partner, trying to maintain the appearance of a relationship for the sake of love. When you don't talk about your problems, incomprehensible situations that arise most often lead to strife. If you have any suggestions or concerns about your partner, it's best to let them know. Try to solve the problem together. To be honest about any problems, it is quite possible that soon you will be able to solve your problems together. Only by discussing the problem together can you overcome unfounded fears.
3. Be open to each other
Opening up completely to others is not easy, which tends to create a fear of insecurity. Some people, especially those who have been “hurt” before, are afraid to talk about their fears and show their partner weaknesses. Many cannot confess their feelings, as they are in fear of being again. This behavior creates certain difficulties for building trusting relationships. Trust will only come when we share our fears and weaknesses with a partner. In return for our openness, we will receive understanding and support, and with it, love.
4. Everyone has the right to privacy
Trust is not required to share completely the partner's former private life. You have the right not to talk about all the details of your previous relationship, you have the right to privacy and intimacy. A tactless question about the details of the past can serve as distrust and lead to misunderstandings between partners. Partners who trust each other do not have the right to interfere in a past life and seek out intimate details, which is important in a new relationship.
Stephen Covey, a well-known psychoanalyst, identifies 13 factors of your behavior with a partner to build a trusting and close relationship. Here they are.
1. Tell the truth Being honest and sincere in your dealings with other people will never create a false impression of you.
2. Show respect Caring for others and showing you care builds trust in relationships.
3. Be sincere- tell the truth and be honest, do not hide any information or your intentions.
4. Don't hide mistakes- for example, if you broke something, it is better to repent and apologize, do not try to hide the damage that you accidentally caused.
5. Be faithful- Appreciate the loyalty of your partner and pay him the same.
6. Show off your skills- if you know how to do something, do not neglect duties, but do not promise more than you can do.
7. Improve your competence- with interesting plans for the future are always interesting to others. Make joint plans - increase your partner's trust and sense of security.
8. Fight the odds- try to solve any problems that arise together.
9. Discuss future plans– discuss your expectations and plans for the future, tell your partner about your ideas. Thus, you will always have support and mutual understanding.
10. Be responsible– Be accountable and hold others accountable.
11. Learn to listen to your partner- listen before making an assessment; try to understand the other person.
12. Keep your commitments We keep our promises. You must not break these promises.
13. Trust in a partner- trust people who deserve it. Do not look for fictitious compromising evidence on your partner. After all, distrust in the first place can destroy even the most true love.
By paying attention to these simple tips from famous psychologists, you will eventually learn the art of trusting a man.
Without trust, there is no love. And what to do if trust has been undermined so many times that there is practically nothing left of it. Statistics say that 79% of families have this problem. So how do you learn to trust your man?
Inga Admiralskaya (psychologist):
First, let's figure out what prevents you from trusting? Anxiety, fear, unsuccessful past experience, doubts - you can add to this list yourself, because everyone has faced the problem of distrust. What “takes away” distrust from a relationship? Intimacy, joy, the ability to accept support, lean on another, and so on, the list is endless. Distrust is destructive, and if you want to get rid of it, try this: every time you notice this in yourself, immediately ask yourself the question: “What is happening? Why do I feel distrust of my partner right now? Did he really do something that confuses me, or am I winding myself up, resentments and disappointments of the past speak in me? If you are truly confused by a particular action your man has taken, carefully ask what he meant when he did and said the things that made you distrustful. This procedure is called a reality check. It helps to test how viable your suspicions are, whether they are relevant to this particular situation or are a figment of your imagination.
Maria Razbash (psychologist, trainer at the Center for Positive Psychology):
Any harmonious relationship is built on trust. If you want to trust each other, then you need to:
1. Learn to see only those relationships in which you are now. Forget all previous experiences, especially negative ones. After all, what happens to us most often is what we are afraid of - it is not without reason that thought is considered material.
2. No need to see signs of betrayal in any situation. Sometimes being late to can be just being late. And if he did not immediately answer the call, then he really was at the authorities. Don't ask for a report.
3. Don't put your partner in an acquittal position. Do not make him report to you all the time about every step. Your constant reproaches from the category “Again with Sveta, you were late “on business”?” may suggest that Svetka deserves his special attention. Why create an atmosphere of heightened interest in other objects?
4. If you want a trusting relationship, then proceed from the fact that the partner is absolutely honest with you. Stop checking his phone for dangerous texts and calls. This is very humiliating, both for him and for you.
5. In difficult situations, a sense of humor often saves. In a transparent situation, try not to catch your partner red-handed, but simply sympathize with him for what happened so awkwardly. Don't make scandals!
6. Try to see the best qualities in a partner and tell him about it. Emphasize that you trust him. Since this will make it easier to set him up for an open and honest relationship.
Keep in mind that vain suspicions can be a serious reason for a partner to do something illegal. The logic of the subconscious works as follows: if they suspect me, then at least not in vain!
And here is what our readers think about trust.
The topic of today's article on the women's site "Beautiful and Successful" is trust, but not for people in general, but for the closest and dearest person - your beloved man, husband, boyfriend.
Unfortunately, there are situations when a woman loses confidence due to some kind of conflict, quarrel, betrayal - this is normal. But if you constantly and for no reason do not trust your loved one, or transfer this distrust to the entire strong half of humanity, this already becomes a problem. That is why today we will try to learn how to learn to trust the man you love.
Why is it impossible to achieve harmony in relationships with distrust?
Remember the tale of the crane and the heron? The crane wooed the heron, but she just didn’t need it, and when it turned out that she was interested in him, he, in turn, became proud. Then, of course, he changed his mind, but only now the heron has already decided to be independent. And then again, and again, and again...
A paradox, but it also occurs in modern life. This is, of course, not about a banal interest, which is only fueled by refusals, but about trust - that fundamental thing on which relationships are built.
A man truly cares about a woman only when he feels that she completely trusts him. And the woman, in turn, thinks: if he starts to take care of me, then I will trust him. Well, why not a crane and a heron? In such a relationship, harmony cannot be achieved, and the fault here is not mutual, but, unfortunately, for the most part it lies with a woman who cannot open up to her beloved and learn to trust him.
Why does a woman not trust?
Once a deceived woman can forever lose confidence in the entire male sex, but even women who seem to sincerely strive for a lasting union and harmony can set themselves up for negativity. They are looking for a catch in everything, they believe that a man needs some kind of benefit from them, they are afraid of absolutely everything, and they are suspicious of every controversial situation that has arisen.
How to learn to trust a man?
The first advice of a psychologist will set you up to return to the past. In addition to betrayal, the cause of distrust can also be a psychological trauma received in early childhood. In addition, relations with a future husband directly grow out of relations with or a grandfather: if they were not too friendly, perhaps this is the reason. Often, girls who grew up without a father suffer from distrust of the stronger sex.
How to learn to trust the man you love: useful tips
That is why the women's site site decided to ask several practicing psychologists how to deal with such a problem.
Tip #1: Don't confuse trust with your unrealistic expectations
The first step to fixing a situation is to accept it. Try to define soberly and without emotions, what does trust mean to you? If you really can’t express your thought, think about it, do you confuse this feeling with your hopes for an “ideal husband”, “prince handsome”?
If your man can't give you everything you want, is that a reason not to trust him? Trust absolutely does not mean that a man should justify your hopes, and if you need the latter, try to direct him in the right direction. And the more you rely on him, directly (and not in vague hints!) Ask for help, the more trust will arise between you, and the more your loved one will do for you.
If once on your path you met a man who deceived or betrayed you, this does not mean that all your subsequent partners will be the same. Yes, it’s hard to believe in this, because a woman closes in on herself and stops opening up to a man and trusting him. But the problem here lies precisely in the woman - she was initially set up to be betrayed again, programmed to deceive her partner.
How to learn to trust a new man? Try to remake your own consciousness: do not regard yourself as a victim, do not think much about the future, especially in a negative way, do not look for a catch in every word or action. And most importantly - forget all the words "victims" like the phrases "I will never be happy", "I can not trust a man", "they are all prone to betrayal", etc. Harsh, but true: no one makes you a victim, except yourself.
Distrust is always based on suspicion. Now let's figure out where the suspicion comes from. Perhaps you found suspicious messages in the correspondence of your husband or beloved boyfriend (by the way, a counter question: how regularly do you read his personal correspondence, and does he know about it - perhaps such checks are far from the best way out?)?
Or, for no apparent reason, did he start staying late at work? Or maybe you just reviewed series about love triangles and transfer the “soap opera” to yourself? Try to be as realistic as possible. Believe only the facts! If you need confirmation, talk to your husband directly: say that you are worried about this and that, and offer him help in solving existing problems or support, then he will definitely respond and will not hide anything from you.
From the point of view of psychology, such a phenomenon as trust is an extremely ambiguous and complex concept. At times it can be so difficult to learn to trust a loved one, especially a man. But we make even impossible things possible, so learning how to trust a man is also quite within our power.
Stop being harsh on others. If you were once betrayed or deceived, this does not mean at all that from now on absolutely everyone will treat you in this way. Learn to be more open, be friendly to others in order to learn to trust men. Do self-training.
For example, say to yourself every day, “I trust guys. They won't hurt me. We have a happy future ahead of us with my young man. Men take care of me. Thanks to them, I enjoy my life”;
Set your thoughts in a positive way! Psychologists assure that girls who do not have relationships with the opposite sex simply program themselves to deceive. If you keep a grudge against all traitors in your heart, then why wait for a normal man - he will never appear, because you subconsciously attract only deceivers to yourself. So, you enclose yourself in a vicious circle, from which it becomes more and more difficult to get out over time;
Do fun exercises. For example, on the advice of psychologists, get yourself a pet, most importantly, a male, and have various confidential conversations with him. This unusual training is designed to solve several problems at once. Firstly, when you pronounce the essence of the problem, it is easier to get rid of it, and secondly, this is a good step towards deeper self-knowledge. Use other techniques to learn to trust men - self-hypnosis, meditation, NLP. To learn to trust a man, increase self-esteem, and for this, work on yourself all the time;
Pay attention to what is the inner world of men from your social circle. Get to know their views on various issues, inquire about their interests and preferences. This will allow you to get closer, and, therefore, to establish a more trusting relationship. In addition, men always encourage interest in their person on the part of the fair sex, in most cases responding with sympathy. So be bolder - time will settle everything, most importantly, your desire and efforts.
Make friends with one of the men. Just so as not to perceive men as something alien dangerous. To know how men behave in different situations, how they are able to care, empathize. This will help you learn to trust a man who will be in a different role in your life.
How to learn to trust and trust men?
To an adult, this seems like a trifle, but for a girl during the period of maturation, these trifles are essential and leave a mark on her psyche, determine her future adult life.
A girl who has been confident since childhood that her father will always help her, her father will protect her, her father will support her, even if she is wrong, he will not be rude, will not ridicule her, he will prompt and understand, help correct mistakes. This girl will grow up self-confident, in the future she will not have problems with men.
In the event that dad was not around, and the daughter was raised by a mother who was offended by absolutely the entire male half, or did dad still exist, but such that it would be better if he didn’t exist at all? What to do then?
First you need to understand that only a grown-up girl herself can help herself in this case. She is now responsible for herself. Of course it's not easy for her. It is worth getting rid of the idea that all men are males, goats and bastards, that they need to take only one thing from a woman.
Men are all different. At the subconscious level, men see a woman who is insecure. These are the ones who are looking for a victim. A decent man does not get acquainted with a woman who does not like men.
In order to learn to trust men and the situation has somehow improved, you first need to stupidly repeat at every suitable moment: “Men are beautiful. I trust men. Men are created to protect me, help me enjoy life, take care of me.
And it doesn't matter if you believe it or not. You just need to keep repeating. You can get yourself some kind of male animal - a dog, a cat, a parrot, fall in love with him, be frank with him. Don't be afraid to look funny! Talk to your pet for advice. Soon you will see how the life around you will gradually begin to change.
To learn to trust a man, you can try to make friends with an elderly neighbor who will treat you like a granddaughter or daughter. You will be able to understand the masculine nature, logic, behavior of men and simply cease to be afraid of them.
When you meet a man that you really like, with whom you will begin to meet, you should not see him as a cheater, do not make big plans for the future, do not put pressure on him in terms of marriage. Enjoy your relationship, rejoice in all the good things that he will do for you.
Say: "I am grateful to fate for my man, and I trust him." Soon the question will not arise about how to learn to believe and trust men. "To each is given according to his faith."