Alcoholism is a problem that often comes into the home of many. This is the scourge of modernity. No one is immune from this misfortune. Alcoholism can become chronic and addictive. Moreover, neither social status nor material condition can affect the development of this dependence. Alcoholism does not choose who stands in front of it. Most often, alcohol addiction "inspires" in men. The main questions are: “If the husband is an alcoholic, what should a woman do? From whom to take advice? Where to run for help? Or break up with him forever? How to behave in such a difficult life situation? Can you get rid of pain? What do psychologists and doctors say about this? Let's talk in more detail.

Feature of alcoholism

The addiction to alcohol in some people is developed so strongly that the usual appearance of life is blurred and any meaning in it is lost. For avid alcoholics, the only goal in life is to find another dose of alcohol.

Doctors equate alcohol dependence with a complex pathological disease. Treatment will be long. The “mask” in the head prevents the drunkard from recovering on his own, which again and again causes an unbridled craving to continue drinking.

With alcoholism, a person completely loses self-control and becomes powerless in front of a bottle of vodka. An alcoholic is not able to adequately perceive the external environment. As a result, awareness of the problem in oneself, which can lead to death, does not occur.

If the problem has passed into the chronic stage, then there is a small probability that the person will be able to stop himself. You can get out of this deadly web if you fully master the information about the features of the disease and methods of treatment.

The first thing you need to know: alcohol is a unique poison that destroys all internal organs of a person.

Secondly, alcoholism is a fatal disease that occurs against the background of systematic alcohol abuse.

Alcoholism is a chronic disease that develops throughout life. If you identify the problem and start treatment in the early stages, you can avoid serious complications and completely recover.

If a person says to himself: “I am an alcoholic: what should I do?”, then this is the first step towards correction and a normal life. This is the first victory over oneself, but a meager one. One desire is not enough.

The reasons

It should begin with finding out the causes of the development of the disease. Some people mistakenly believe that the cause of alcoholism is a wrong lifestyle, a weak will and a bad example before their eyes. However, these are only auxiliary factors, the real problems lie deeper.

Psychological background

Most often, the psychological factor plays almost the main role when a person takes up a glass. Some of the common psychological problems of alcoholics are:

• own impotence in the fight against depression;
• inability to cope with stress;
• inability to eliminate negative emotions.

These circumstantial factors are found in every person in life without exception. However, in such situations, people behave differently: some will save themselves with a glass of vodka, while others will not even think about alcohol in their heads.

Psychologists identify such reasons that push a person to “make friends” with alcohol:

• hidden complexes;
• unstable psycho-emotional background;
• unresolved problems come from childhood.

Environment, emotional instability, external negative factors only affect the development of alcoholism.

Many believe that the cause of drunkenness is banal boredom. It is impossible to completely reject this assumption and disagree. Indeed, it happens. However, there is a deeper problem in boredom: the understanding of one's uselessness, loneliness, uselessness. When a person cannot decide on the main occupation of his life, then his own significance and self-esteem are gradually lost. He finds solace in a glass.

Psychologists believe that the most effective way in the fight against alcohol addiction is the competent organization of one's lifestyle and leisure. The richer life will be, the less likely it is to embark on a destructive path called "I am an alcoholic." "What should I do?" - We will try to answer this question further.

hereditary factor

Doctors have long established that the fight against alcohol addiction should begin with consideration of the factor of heredity. The origins of alcoholism are laid at the genetic level. However, even in this case, alcohol addiction can be said goodbye.

Often alcohol addiction develops in young adolescents with an unsettled psyche. At their age, the opinion of others plays a huge role. This is largely the fault of television and not only advertisements for alcoholic beverages. According to statistics, it was noted that as soon as active advertising of alcohol appeared, the growth in sales increased. Frequent buyers are young people.

Parents and relatives should protect from the sad development of events. It is important to provide warmth, support and understanding in the family. And if the authority of parents for a young alcoholic is weak, then the chance of being in a bad company, in which alcohol is on “you”, increases significantly.

The trouble with alcohol does not come alone. It is preceded by many factors. If a child from the cradle is not accustomed to morality, morality, ethics, a healthy lifestyle, then such a disaster will come to your home. If your child has such a terrible problem, then treatment by a narcologist and a psychologist is simply necessary.

stressful situations

The transferred strongest stress is one of the main reasons for the development of alcoholism. Psychologists have separately identified such main stress factors that push a person to embark on this terrible path:

• betrayal of loved ones;
• bankruptcy, loss of finances;
• loss of hope and purpose in life;
• death of a loved one.

Without the support of loved ones in such a difficult time for a person, not everyone succeeds in drowning out the existing pain on their own. Many find the necessary support in alcohol and gradually become an inveterate drunkard. To return a person to a normal life, he needs strong motivation. In this case, you can not do without outside help.

What are the signs of alcoholism?

1. Expressed desire to drink a "strong" drink: a person becomes nervous if he does not find alcohol in the house. Even temporary abstinence from use can cause severe irritation.
2. Loss of self-control: a small dose of "taken to the soul" in a typical alcoholic does not cause euphoria. Every day the dose of the "cherished" consumed ethanol increases.
3. The gag reflex is lost: a healthy body responds to intoxication with vomiting or nausea. If such natural reflexes are absent in a person, then this should alert. In this case, we can safely talk about addiction and dependence at the physiological level.
4. Prolonged hangover: almost an alcoholic does not get out of this state. There is a habit of "hangover". For him, tremors, aching joints, muscle weakness and severe migraines become the norm.

The withdrawal syndrome is expressed in withdrawal, similar to a narcotic one. This syndrome occurs if the alcoholic does not take the usual dose of alcohol. Against the background of such a dangerous condition, human health is deteriorating, namely:

• develop cardiovascular disease;
• the work of the brain is disrupted;
• there is a problem in the functioning of the central nervous system;
• cirrhosis develops.

If what to do in this case? Let's talk about this further.

Female alcoholism

Women's alcoholism is different from men's. It develops faster than the male. According to statistics, for every 100 male alcoholics, there are 50 women who are addicted to alcohol. In a short period of time, a woman experiences mental degradation and internal organs are quickly destroyed.

Most often, women in young and middle age are exposed to this addiction. Moreover, socially successful women often drink alone. Main reasons:

• betrayal of a loved one;
• violence;
• loss of a loved one;
• emotional breakdown;
• reconciliation of career and family.

Alcohol addiction can develop not only in successful women, but also in housewives. So they are trying to dispel a boring lifestyle filled with everyday life, lack of demand, non-realization in life.

In modern society, women's alcoholism is treated more negatively than men's. Alcoholic men are treated, but turned away.

The diagnosis of “female alcoholism” is made by a narcologist based on an anamnesis, a survey, and tests for the alcohol content in physiological fluids.

If a woman is an alcoholic, what to do? First of all, contact a drug specialist. The optimal treatment option is long-term rehabilitation in a special clinic.

Aggressive alcoholic: what to do?

If a woman lives with an aggressive alcoholic, then their relationship resembles a fight without rules. The woman voluntarily agrees to be a participant in this fight. Often such a fight justifies the comparison used. Often a conflict with an aggressive alcoholic ends with the use of physical force. As you understand, the score is not in favor of the woman.

Often wives do not leave aggressive alcoholic husbands because they are financially dependent on them. They have a fear of an independent independent life. As payment for finances - rudeness, cruelty, ridicule, humiliation, violence.

There is an alcoholic in the house: what to do if there is nowhere to go? The husband came drunk and aggressive. The action plan is:

1. Ignore insults from him.
2. Answer his questions calmly and try to direct the dialogue in a peaceful direction.
3. Switch your attention to him. For example, pay attention to his dirty clothes: “You are all dirty until you get there. Take off your things, I'll do the laundry quickly."
4. You can offer him another drink. Many women do this to gain time and leave the house.
5. Shock therapy. Pouring cold water on a drunk person will buy a woman some time to quickly leave home.

To avoid a scandal with possible consequences, stick to the "NOT" rules:

• do not humiliate the alcoholic;
• do not buy his own alcohol or give money for it;
• do not take away alcohol, preventing him from drinking;
• do not show your weakness and fear.

Remember that your personal safety is paramount. Don't let an aggressive alcoholic manipulate you. The destruction of your life by living with an alcoholic will then happen slowly but surely.

Staying with an alcoholic under the same roof means constantly walking on the edge of a knife. If the husband is an alcoholic, what should a woman do? Psychologists immediately identify a number of problems that his wife faces:

mental pain;

lack of finance;

anger;

desire for revenge;

depression and stress;

lack of intimacy.

Every time, seeing her husband drunk, and if he is also aggressive, he raises his hand, then the woman gradually comes up with a revenge plan in her head. It's good if she chooses the "leave" option. And it also happens that in a fit of anger can kill him?

If there is an alcoholic in the family, what to do? Often, psychologists suggest possible consequences to this question, after hearing which, a woman finds a way out of a difficult situation.

1. Children who live with an alcoholic father have serious intimacy problems as they grow up. Often they connect their lives with the same as their father: with alcoholics or drug addicts.
2. The children of an alcoholic have low self-esteem and constant depression.
3. A volcano of restrained aggression accumulates in the soul of children. They have an inner emptiness, loss, doom, uselessness, because they do not receive proper attention from their parents. The mother fights with the alcoholic father for his treatment, and the father himself does not care about his children at all.

Why did they give examples of problems with children? It is important for every mother that their children are healthy both physically and psychologically.

The surest decision is to leave your alcoholic husband forever, without returning. Staying and waiting a little longer is not an option. What to expect? Until he turned his wife or children into cripples? If the husband is an alcoholic, what should I do? A woman should not give advice to others. A woman must decide for herself whether to leave or stay.

How to deal with alcohol addiction? Ways

The best option: complex therapy, which includes drug treatment and psychological assistance.

Treatment of alcohol dependence is carried out only if the patient completely refuses to drink alcohol. No less than 12 days should not drink alcohol before starting therapy.

Possible ways to deal with addiction:

1. Self denial.
2. without the knowledge of the patient. When a person is addicted to alcohol, then gradually his psyche is destroyed. The patient is unable to accept the obvious problem. Then relatives resort to various methods of treatment, including folk ones.
3. Compulsory treatment is resorted to at the chronic stage of the disease, when a person cannot solve his problem with alcohol on his own. Professional long-term therapy in a narcological dispensary is needed.

Most often, the last method of treatment is resorted to by close relatives whose soul is torn for an alcoholic.

Medical treatment

Immediately, doctors prepare the patient's body to receive the prescribed drugs. The following manipulations are carried out:

• a dropper is placed;
• antidepressants are prescribed to mitigate withdrawal symptoms;
• in case of withdrawal syndrome - neuroleptics;
• preparations for cleaning the body of alcohol residues.

Antipsychotics are prescribed as a last resort.

Psychotherapeutic treatment

Addiction to alcohol is also a psychological problem. There are four effective methods of psychotherapeutic treatment:

• hypnosis;
• emotional-cognitive therapy (control over one's own emotions);
• Ericksonian therapy (a session with a psychotherapist, in which the patient himself comes to the answer to his question: “I am an alcoholic, what should I do?”.

Alcoholics Anonymous is a worldwide organization that helps millions of alcoholics recover from addiction at any stage of their illness.

Group sessions involve emotional support for each other and other methods of psychological therapy.

Coding

If an alcoholic does not want to be treated, what to do? Many women fraudulently bring their man for coding. The medical type of coding is considered the safest. The psychological type of coding (hypnosis) causes controversy among doctors. In this case, the risk of an unexpected physiological effect increases.

In modern medicine, there is a laser. At the moment, this type of coding is considered the safest procedure for the physical and psychological health of an alcoholic.

When treating addiction, the patient must be surrounded by support and care. Throw away all the "stash" and bottles of alcohol so that the alcoholic does not break.

As soon as a person asks the question: “I am an alcoholic, what should I do?”, You need to look for the cause of the development of the disease. Get rid of the cause, and the desire to drink will disappear. Don't waste your time. Professional help in the drug dispensary will speed up the treatment process.

Each person has a unique opportunity to control his thoughts, body, internal processes. Your lifestyle, behavior, beliefs become the force that advances you in life, protects you, or vice versa, deprives you of strength. It all depends on the settings that you carry in yourself. Most often they are not realized, but between times they slip in everyday conversations and thoughts.

Remember the phrases about your health that you most often say, the beliefs that you live with. If you think “I am in poor health”, then you prescribe all sorts of illnesses to yourself. The statement “I’m always doing badly” attracts another trouble. The more you are dissatisfied with yourself, the weaker the defenses of your body.

Therefore, when complaining about overcoming illnesses, it is necessary, first of all, to pay attention to your emotional state. Find out what weakens your immune system. What behavior, thoughts, words make you defenseless not only against diseases, but also the people around you.

There are at least 5 reasons for this:

1. Indefinite "I". Immunity is nothing but identity. If you have blurred personal boundaries, you have a weak idea of ​​yourself, you are easily imbued with other people's judgments, thoughts, beliefs, then most likely you have the image of a “sick person”. How do you know if your personal boundaries are blurred? Try to tell about yourself, without looking at others, without paying attention to what they say about you, think, without relying on generally accepted rules. If you are embarrassed to express your opinion, you can hardly talk about your interests, abilities, you do not tolerate criticism well, you are deeply worried about something that does not personally concern you, then you have obvious problems with self-identity. Your defense mechanisms are more like a sieve. All the suffering, negativity accumulated in the world easily penetrates you and turns into your personal grief, illness and depressive states.

2. Categorical negation. This is another extreme, when the "sieve" turns into an impenetrable shell. You meet with hostility the whole world. Everything that is outside seems dangerous and harmful to you. But this approach does not allow to accumulate experience, to acquire the necessary skills. And this, as mentioned above, also affects your self-identification. In order to calmly experience all sorts of life ups and downs, it is necessary to develop immunity. And this applies not only to viruses, but also to psychological protection. “Sterile conditions” limit your space, deprive you of a full life. And, no matter how hard you try, inconvenience will appear. The only question is how ready you are to face them. Someone will immediately fall ill, and someone will cheerfully slip through all the risks and will not even notice it.

3. Association with others. Empathy and complicity lead to diseases "for the company." If you are going to visit a sick person, then remember that you are healthy, you have brought the necessary medicines, vitamins, but you have your own affairs and your own life. Some patients invite their visitors to put themselves in their place. Do not do this under any circumstances! Please note that in families where, it would seem, everyone should get sick, someone always remains healthy. This is, as a rule, the breadwinner who has no time to be sick, he is too busy "extracting mammoths." The doctor who has fallen into the very center of the epidemic does not get sick either, since at this moment he identifies himself as a “doctor” and his task is to treat. If you feel the need for collective experiences, then unite with healthy groups. For example, lovers of jogging, cycling, swimming in the hole, etc.

4. Pessimism. Sad people get sick much more often. This is due to their internal program, aimed at a negative result. If they broadcast to the world their willingness to experience suffering, pain, to take on all sorts of tragedies, cataclysms, illnesses, then they will receive in full. Despondency and expectation of trouble leads to devastation, loss of energy and strength, and protection disappears with them. To restore it, you need to rebuild your lifestyle, change the old settings. Keep a journal and write about all the good things that happen to you. This will help you focus on the positive. And, gradually, the first meager records are replaced by multi-page descriptions of their success and happy events. Bright pleasant impressions, joy, laughter, all kinds of pleasures create reliable protection not only from illnesses, but also from failures in general.

5. Overwork and stress. The inability to rest, the habit of taking on both one's own and other people's work can also weaken the body's defenses. To save yourself, learn to say no. While you are "carrying other people's firewood" your defense is weakening with every step. But, even after getting rid of third-party cargo, carefully monitor your condition throughout the day. Approximately every 1-2 hours you will receive an internal signal that you need to rest. There will be drowsiness, a desire to sit idle, look out the window. Don't ignore him. Take small breaks. If you are familiar with the techniques of restorative trances, then be sure to use them 1-2 times a day. Regular rest, skillful planning and separating your affairs from those of others will relieve you of stress, maintain a strong immune system and health.

Start putting your thoughts in order. Love yourself, relax, enjoy every day you live, and your care, careful attitude towards yourself will become reliable protection even from the most terrible diseases and other everyday troubles.

Modern oncology has a complex system of measures for the treatment of malignant tumors of the mammary glands. But no treatment will be effective without the desire for recovery of the person himself.

Self-help methods. rules of behavior in a hospital, communication with doctors, ways to change thinking.

First of all, you must believe in your cure and your strength! Faith and activity in healing is the key to your success. It is important to remember all the time that you are not fighting AGAINST cancer, but FOR yourself, your life. This is a more comprehensive and broad approach to the process of rehabilitation after illness. Without your active participation, it will be much more difficult for doctors to defeat the tumor. It is up to you to help yourself and your body!

Psychologists and oncologists also say: treatment is not only the elimination of the tumor itself, but also serious work on oneself, a revision of lifestyle, old habits and rules. To win this battle, you will have to learn to think differently. And this means that after consulting with a doctor, it is advisable to reconsider many familiar things and approach treatment in a comprehensive manner. This approach includes:

• fighting a tumor with the help of all advanced medical technologies;
• elimination or minimization of provoking factors that contribute to the emergence and growth of cancer cells. Changes in nutrition and the rejection of bad habits, smoking and overeating are inevitable;
• self care. It is recommended to do feasible physical therapy and breathing exercises. Do not forget about relaxation and, most importantly, tackle your psychological problems. All this will help to concentrate your strength and successfully fight against the disease.

Numerous studies and medical statistics have convincingly proven that psychological assistance and comprehensive support for one's body greatly facilitates the process of treating women. When a person is in a state of fear and stress, a stressful hormonal background begins to prevail in the body, which creates an additional burden on all body systems. Therefore, there is an additional negative effect on the body, which greatly depletes the immune system.

Seemingly simple methods of psychological self-help and support significantly increase the number of active protective cells. The mood of a woman changes, the stressful hormonal background goes away, and as a result, the supply of vitality and the ability to resist, and hence recovery, increase.

Empirically, doctors also revealed the following: positive thoughts, good mood and optimistic perception of the treatment process increase the activity of the body's defenses. While fear, sadness, depression or prolonged stress deplete the vital and protective forces, reducing the psychophysiological resources of the patient. But if in modern life it is completely impossible to eliminate stress, then changing your reaction to it is quite a feasible task.

So, psychological work on oneself is ...

• Work with your behavior.
• Work with your mind.
• Setting adequate goals for each day and for the future.
• Reassessment of your life values.

Self-help methods

• Cultivating self love. Connect with yourself and your needs.
• Overcoming negative states - resentment, fear and anxiety. These states take away strength, paralyze, interfere with rational thinking and finding a way out of a difficult situation, and also deplete the body's defense mechanisms.
• Increasing stress resilience through behavioral and thinking changes that will help reduce the impact of the stressor.

Changing behavior and thinking

Even the ancient sages knew this secret: "If you want to change your life, change yourself through your thoughts." Our thoughts form our worldview, actions, and, consequently, our life. Maintaining a good mood and a positive attitude, you can support your body during and after treatment. Start small. Think about how you can create a good mood for yourself today, in these difficult circumstances. Remember: you are responsible for your mood, your physical condition, doctors only create conditions for your struggle with medical treatments and medicines. Always tell yourself: cancer is not a death sentence, it is an opportunity to change and change your life. Believe in it with all your heart, and you will definitely succeed. Remember that a lot depends on you.

Help your body heal!

Rules that help during the treatment process and after it

1. Get all information about the disease and treatment only from doctors. Do not listen to "hospital horrors" from neighbors in line or in the ward. What happened to someone doesn't mean it will happen to you too. All people are unique, each organism is unique. Therefore, it is not necessary to try on someone else's experience, especially negative. Negativity destroys your health, taking away strength and depressing your immunity.
2. Get ready to meet the doctors. The doctor for you is both a source of stress and a source of hope, and in a state of stress, people concentrate poorly. Therefore, write a list of questions to the doctor that you would like to receive answers to.
3. In the hospital, try to communicate with patients who remain optimistic and support your faith in the effectiveness of treatment and your strength.
4. During and after treatment, try to maintain sincere and open relationships with family and friends. They will be your support during this difficult time. Learn to share your feelings, don't be alone with your fears. Remember that shared grief is no longer grief.
5. Switch your attention to the positive. A funny drawing or a postcard placed in a conspicuous place can help you with this, which will catch your eye, stopping the disturbing flow of thoughts and "pulling" you out of the negative. Always praise yourself and say thank you to yourself when you manage to cope with such conditions.
6. In any environment, look for something good, beautiful, interesting. For example, they brought you flowers: examine each flower, leaf, absorb its wonderful energy. As the Japanese say, "beauty exists in small things." If you go outside, look around and you will definitely find something that brings joy.

Self-help methods

7. Try, if possible, to do things that are pleasant for you: read interesting books, listen to pleasant music, watch your favorite films.
8. Be active. Remember what you really wanted to do, but did not reach your hands or did not have enough time. At the hospital, write a list of places you would like to visit, learn new things, and meet people. This is how you tell your subconscious: "I am interested in life, I enjoy life, I want to live, and I will cope with the disease!".
9. Love yourself, every day do small accessible "joys" for yourself. Walk, exercise, eat right, live a rich and interesting life. Do not put off taking care of yourself until later, do not ignore your needs for rest. Learn to listen and hear your body.

Help your body overcome disease

Psychotherapeutic methods that help to cope with pain and other unpleasant sensations during the treatment process.

Cancer treatment is associated with many unpleasant sensations and side effects, such as dizziness, nausea, pain, increased pressure, etc. But you need to overcome all this in order to defeat the disease and destroy the tumor.

The proposed exercises will help to cope with the unpleasant manifestations of the treatment and make it easier to endure them.

Exercise 1.

Begin by slowly sinking into a calm and relaxed state. Close your eyes, focus on your breath. Breathe deeply, slowly and naturally. At a slow pace, count from 10 to 1, with each number sinking more and more into a relaxed state.

Imagine the light of any color you like in the form of a bright sphere, which, gradually growing, fills the entire space of the room. Then the sphere shrinks to its previous size until it shrinks to 1 cm. Then you need to imagine if it turns out that this light is your pain. Again, expand this sphere to the boundaries of the room, and then try to mentally compress it to 1 cm and bring it out of the body through exhalation. Imagine how this small dot dissolves into the air. The same can be done with nausea.

Exercise 2.

Immerse yourself in a relaxed state in any way described above.

After complete relaxation, imagine an image of pain or nausea, the subconscious mind itself will tell you what it looks like. After that, try in your imagination to modify this image to a more pleasant one for you. For example, if pain appears to you as a porcupine with large quills, then try to translate the image into a hedgehog with small quills, feed it from a saucer, then the image of a live hedgehog into a hedgehog soft toy, then into a soft small ball. Mentally squeeze this ball to a small size of 1 cm and try to remove it from the body in any way. Open your eyes, listen, praise yourself for coping with an unpleasant state.

Our mind and body are one, and the powerful medicine that is always with us is imagination. Fight disease with imagination and relaxation.

Scientists have proven the effectiveness of relaxation and visualization methods in the treatment of even the most severe diseases. Relaxation exercises will help your body not only increase stamina, improve the functioning of the immune system, increase energy flow, but also relieve fear and anxiety and restore contact with your inner world. In the process of such work with the imagination, the heartbeat normalizes, blood pressure decreases, brain rhythms normalize, the body rests and gains strength.

Positive Thinking Exercise

Doing the exercise regularly will help make your mindset positive. Therefore, every night before going to bed, mentally find at least 5-7 points for which you can say thank you for today or remember 5-7 pleasant moments. At first it will work out with difficulty, but gradually you will learn to notice everything in life that is truly amazing and joyful. Gradually getting rid of the pessimistic, depressive perception of what is happening, you will be able to form in yourself a real and vital optimism that is so necessary for your recovery.

Relaxation exercises

Exercise number 1.

If you are not able to completely relax, do not despair, this can be learned. Relaxation through self-hypnosis. Try to do this exercise 4-5 times, this will help you remember the state of relaxation and call it quite easily. Before starting the exercise, you can take a warm, pleasant shower. While lying or sitting with your eyes closed, focus on your breathing. Try to feel how the air passes through your bronchi and lungs. Observe your breath for about a minute, and then begin to mentally slowly repeat:

"I'm completely calm" - 1 time.
"My right hand is heavy and warm" - 6 times.

"My left hand is heavy and warm" - 6 times.
"I'm completely calm" - 1 time.
"My right leg is heavy and warm" - 6 times.
"I'm completely calm" - 1 time.
"My left leg is heavy and warm" - 6 times.
"My face, neck, back, and abdominal muscles are relaxed"
"I'm completely calm" - 1 time.
"My body is heavy and relaxed" - 2-3 times.
"I am calm and relaxed" - 2-3 times.
"I feel good and calm in this state" - 2-3 times.

When you reach the feeling of heaviness in the whole body, the body will become heavy and, as it were, "spread" over the surface. There will be complete silence inside. If any thoughts start to come to mind, do not fight or drive them away, let them slowly flow as they like. Stay in this state for as long as you want, and then mentally count from 10 to 1, open your eyes, stretch. And you can get up.

Exercise number 2.

It is possible to induce such a state of heaviness and relaxation through the creation of images of pleasant relaxation. Take a comfortable position, relax, close your eyes. Mentally examine the fingers of both hands one by one, visualizing them completely relaxed, warm and heavy, then examine the forearms and shoulders in the same way. Next, mentally focus on the muscles of the face and neck, trying to relax tense muscles. Do the same for the legs and torso.

Feel how a gentle, warm wave slowly fills your entire body.

After that, you can imagine yourself where you usually feel good, for example, on the sunny edge of a forest, on the banks of a river, in the mountains or by the sea. Try to smell the grass, the rustle of leaves or the sounds of the sea, hear the cries of seagulls, feel a light breeze on your face. Stay in this state for as long as you want. Enjoy this state of cozy warmth, peace and tranquility.

Then slowly count to 10, with each number imagining how your strength increases. Open your eyes and stretch vigorously, tighten your muscles and stand up.

Every time you feel the need for rest and relaxation, mentally move to this place and rest, taking care in advance that you will not be disturbed.

Exercises to visualize the "healing forces of the body" according to the method of K. and S. Simonton

Exercise number 1.

1. Lying on the floor, try to relax the whole body, feel how the muscles of the legs, arms, back, neck, facial muscles relax. It is necessary to achieve that the body becomes heavy and relaxed.
2. Then mentally imagine your illness in the form of some kind of image. If it’s hard to imagine right away, you can first draw an image on a piece of paper, and then try to remember your drawing. In an imaginary movie, imagine how a huge army of your cells - white blood cells - is cracking down on this tumor. Images of leukocytes can be different depending on your imagination. The main thing is that your white blood cells were strong, active, energetic. They pounce on the tumor and destroy it. Cancer cells are weak and die easily.
3. Dead tumor cells are removed from the body naturally.
4. At the end of the exercise, imagine yourself in your favorite place, in nature - where you like. Imagine: you are healthy, full of energy and doing a pleasant, favorite thing for you. You relax and enjoy peace. Stay in this state for as long as you want.

Exercise number 2.

Immerse yourself in a relaxed state. Mentally imagine yourself in a place where you feel good, calm, comfortable and safe. It can be some room in the house that you built in your imagination, a beautiful place in nature: a clearing, a forest with a river, a seashore or mountains. It might even be on another planet. The main thing is that in this place you feel good, calm and pleasant to be. Examine carefully all the details of what surrounds you, try to see or feel the sounds, smells, colors. Now take care of the arrangement of this place. Do everything the way you want. If this is a house, arrange the furniture as you like, if this is a beach, then imagine it in great detail. Listen to yourself and change this place according to your desires. Now this is your "place of power", where you can return every time you want to relax. This is a place of special energy that fills and replenishes your strength, in this place you recover, cleanse, fill with strength, find answers to your questions and make decisions.

Numerous scientific studies and statistics prove that these methods of relaxation and visualization (fantasy) affect the physiological changes in the body, strengthen the immune system and help the body to relax and gain strength, and therefore become stronger. And today this method is used in many advanced clinics around the world, helping patients to gain health. Naturally, this is not the main treatment. Advanced medical methods effectively help in the fight against the disease, and exercises help you regain strength and, in cooperation with doctors, successfully overcome the disease.

How to overcome illness and live life to the fullest again,
Brochure prepared as part of Avon's "Together Against Breast Cancer" Charity Program

Sudden news of a serious, deadly or incurable disease, such as cancer, stroke, HIV infection, severe diseases of the brain, hormonal system and internal organs, or deprivation of body parts or body functions (loss of vision, for example), becomes a blow to both the sick as well as for his loved ones.

A month/week/day/hour ago everything was fine, but the disease suddenly intervenes and turns the whole course of life upside down. There is a prospect, for example, of an urgent operation with an unpredictable outcome or a long, difficult and painful treatment, being in a medical institution. Much changes the patient's inability to move freely, serve himself and the need to care for him.

Article navigation: "If your loved one is seriously ill: psychological assistance to the sick and their loved ones"

Psychologist Kübler-Ross, in her work with seriously ill and dying people, identified 5 stages of accepting the disease.

These stages (periods) may have different durations for different people, may not occur in the order described below, and may also be repeated even if the person has already passed this stage.

It consists first of helping them understand what is happening to them.

1. The first reaction to news of a serious illness is almost always shock and/or denial.

A person cannot and does not want to believe (defensive reaction of the psyche) that this happened to him (or his relatives). He is experiencing a strong shock, a blow.

Shock can manifest itself in the form of stupor, apathy, inaction - in this way the body slows down the violent processes of experiencing very strong emotions which relieves stress. This is a normal reaction.

If your loved one is ill and is in a phase of shock, there is no need to urgently “include” him in solving the problem. He needs time to come to his senses, to realize what is happening.

This does not mean that it is not necessary to help a seriously ill person take urgent measures if they are necessary and prescribed by a doctor. Just be close to your loved one, be attentive to his condition, because shock can go into the next stage - aggression, hysteria, into strong emotional reactions.

1. Stage of protest and aggression: a strong emotional reaction is experienced, anger, anger

Aggression can be directed both at doctors and relatives, or at fate, at society.

If you or your sick loved one is in this condition, the techniques described in the article "" can help.

When your loved one is in an aggressive emotional phase, let him speak out, let him express his indignation, give him the opportunity to bring out his fears, feelings, indignation. At expressing difficult feelings emotional stress is somehow reduced.

In a later period of protest and aggression, when the main flow of emotions has subsided, and your loved one has an awareness of the need to cope with negative emotions, art therapy techniques can be useful: invite the patient to draw their experiences, or blind, or even sing.

Psychological assistance to patients at this and other stages can be provided by both close people and specialists. If your loved one is in a health facility, don't hesitate to ask for help from a staff psychologist or volunteer. Such helping the sick often has a positive effect.

1. Deal (bargaining) stage - a person may try to "negotiate" with fate or God

For example: "If I do a certain action every day, then the disease will go away."

Here it is important to maintain faith in the best, to give a person as much positive information as possible, you can tell medical stories with a positive ending, show inspiring films and books. Faith and hope for recovery are very important for the sick person.

If your loved one fell ill, but begins to simply believe in a miracle and stops being treated, it is very important that his relatives motivate him for qualified treatment. After all, if a person truly believes, he does everything necessary. And if he "believes", but does nothing - most often such "faith" covers up an unconscious refusal to fight, hidden despair. And then, as a motivation, you will have to try to make his despair obvious for a person.

1. stage of depression

Here the patient realizes the severity of the disease and sometimes loses hope. It can close itself from communication, want nothing and no longer expect anything. Few have escaped this phase.

Psychological helping the sick on the part of relatives is to give him maximum support, to show that he is not alone with his grief. You can let him know that you are worried about him, but your attitude towards him has not changed. And, of course, you should continue to talk about his and your feelings, and most importantly, just be there.

When doctors give bad prognoses, you should not try to instill optimistic moods in the patient at all costs, motivate him too actively: “get together, don’t hang your nose”, etc. This can lead to even greater alienation of the person from you, to feeling that he is not understood. Often the patient may experience oppressive loneliness at this stage.

When the patient is depression, it is important to provide him with the opportunity of simple communication without consolations and lamentations. It is important to observe the regime, make plans for every day, provide him with the opportunity to communicate with people who are pleasant to him.

What else can be provided helping the sick deeply immersed in depressive experiences? It makes sense to recommend that they use antidepressants. In combination with psychotherapy, they can give a tangible effect and pull a person out of this state. Group therapy can be a good resource for a seriously ill person, as well as their loved ones.

Help is needed for the sick, but the psychological support of their relatives is no less important. If your loved one is sick, and you are actively involved in caring for him, you can experience a whole range of feelings: pain, despair, impotence, anger, sadness, grief, fatigue, and even guilt.

You can feel pain for him, for his suffering, sympathize with him so much that you even want to be in his place. And these are normal feelings, the ability to sympathize, deeply empathize and make a person a person. Don't keep that pain inside, find a way to express it.

Relatives and friends of seriously ill people often have to change their lives, adapt to the changed situation. For example, one of the members families I have to quit my job to take care of the sick. In this case, you may be offended and sorry for yourself, you may be angry at the situation and not sick.

You may feel guilty - for not being able to help a seriously ill person, for the fact that you allegedly do not ideally care for him, for the fact that you may want to protect yourself from all this, is less close to him, run away, go about your business, for your irritation with him, in the end, for that he is ill, and you are healthy.

These feelings are important to recognize, name, and it's good if you have someone with whom you can talk about them. How to realize? Feelings are most often identified by thoughts, for example: “I want to run away to the forests and there is an abyss”, “I can’t bear it, why do I need this unbearable burden?” - despair. “I would have killed him!”, “She is simply unbearable, how I want to break something!” is anger. “I want to send him away, close the door and not see!” - irritation, fatigue. “How can I think about all this when he needs me so much?”, “What a callous person I am!” - guilt.

Think about what manifestations of the patient affect you the most, hurt you the most, and then try to understand how you feel and why. What is behind your painful reaction to what is happening?

It can be your own trauma, fears, for example, the fear of being left without a livelihood, the fear of losing meaningful relationships, losing the support of this person (because now he himself needs it), finally, the fear of death, which is actualized in one way or another by everyone, who is close to the seriously ill.

Only by being aware of them, you can reduce the sharpness of your reaction. It is very good if you can continue further work with feelings with a psychologist.

Try not to forget yourself. At such a time, you need to take care of yourself even more than usual, because you are the resource of your sick relative, and you need to replenish this resource. How?

Think about what is a resource for you personally? What do you appreciate, love in life, what gives you strength, inspiration? It can be family, children, your friends, pets, hobbies, sports, just going to a cafe next door or talking on the phone with a friend - anything that brings you joy.

Be sure to plan yourself every day for these activities. Tell your family about this, ask them to help you with this. Your seriously ill relative, most likely, will only be glad that you draw joy and energy somewhere.

True, it happens in a different way: sometimes the patient attracts all the attention to himself, for example, he may refuse the help of a nurse, demands that only you be with him all the time, which means for you to lose a lot in your life - work, time for yourself , your family, etc.

Here it is necessary to understand what is behind the manipulative behavior of the patient: does he do it out of feelings of fear of loneliness, isolation? In this case, you can talk heart to heart, explain, reassure that you are not leaving him, but you also have your own life. You can agree on how often you will go away on business, how to build your work schedule so that you have more time to be around. But do not deprive yourself of everything that is important to you in life.

If there is a question of delimiting the parental and your family (for example, you are a man whose mother is seriously ill), it is important to decide for yourself how much time and effort to devote to your mother, and how much to your wife and children. Do not be afraid to talk about your experiences and feelings with the patient, this is important both for you and for him.

Try to determine for yourself what in this situation you can really do for a seriously ill patient, and what you cannot change, realize the limits of your responsibility. Do not take on everything at once: despite your family relationship, his life is still his life, and yours is yours.

Do not sacrifice your life, look for additional help, involve other people in care, in household help. Give the patient the opportunity to take responsibility in those areas in which he himself is able to change something: choose a doctor, method and place of treatment. This will allow him to feel that to some extent he himself influences the situation.

If the patient categorically refuses to use some method of treatment that seems optimal to you, you should not take responsibility for his decision. It is better to organize a conversation with a doctor for him, which will help the patient to correctly assess the situation.

More about the boundaries: if it’s very hard for you to keep up constant conversations about the disease, you should tell your loved one about it, making it clear that you are there, but unable to talk about this topic today, and gently move on to another.

Try to accept a serious illness of a loved one as a given that you cannot change, but within which you can do what you can: support him as much as you can, be there, do some simple but important things for him : make his bed comfortable, read a book, put on a good movie, take him for a walk.

Prepare an action plan for every day, follow the recommendations of doctors, organize your life so that it has time for the patient and for your personal affairs. Try to live in the present, with your goals and values, in the moment "here and now", in harmony with yourself, enjoying the manifestations of life.

Treatment can take a long time, and if you develop a certain routine of life, you can adapt to new conditions and help the patient in this, it will be easier for you to move on to the fifth stage.

1. Acceptance stage

Here the patient accepts the disease, is able to live in a new way, reconsider values ​​and priorities, “rewrite” his life history. There are many examples when seriously ill people reached such a degree of self-actualization that, despite the illness, and despite the forecasts of imminent death, they managed to do something significant for themselves and for society, found the strength and motive to make the most of the remaining time to achieve significant goals.

Irving Yalom described the personal growth of oncological patients in the terminal stage: for them, the importance of life trivialities decreases, a feeling of liberation from everything mortal appears, the experience of life in the present is aggravated, and a deeper emotional contact with loved ones is formed.

Not everyone comes to this stage, but for those who have come, new facets of life open up.

Knowing what phase your loved one is in will help you better understand what is happening to him, help a seriously ill person and yourself to go through this difficult path to acceptance.

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