Funny scenes about school have always been, are and, of course, will be popular; they reflect the brightest possible events of the wonderful school years. Therefore, there are many funny skits that show the brightest school events.
Scene “wonderful medicine”
The action takes place in a chemistry lesson. The props require a desk, two chairs and a teacher's table with chemical supplies. Characters: Petya, Sasha and Marya Ivanovna. Two boys dressed in school uniform, the teacher first appears in a black robe with a staff, then appears in her usual form.
- Sasha, did you do your homework? - Petya asks his neighbor at his desk.
- No, I played computer games all day and almost until the morning! - Sasha answers.
- I was doing the same thing, I really want to sleep! – Petya answered, yawning loudly. By the way, bet I get an A today?
How is that? – Sasha is indignant. “You haven’t prepared anything at all, just like me!”
- It's simple! – Petya answered with a smile. – I read on the Internet that if you mix pop, yellow soda, green soda, a crow feather, a cat’s whisker, a tomato, green tea and a slice of chocolate, you get a wonderful potion, by drinking which you can manipulate people. I’ll drink it and tell Marya Ivanovna to give it an A, and she will! Do you want to try my medicine?
- Ha ha! Sasha laughed. - All this is nonsense!
- Well, if you don’t want to get an A, don’t drink! - Petya muttered.
- Okay, let's drink your dubious decoction, maybe something will work out! – Sasha agreed.
Petya drinks from the bottle with the “drug”, hands it to Sasha, who takes a sip.
- Ugh, what an abomination! – Sasha was indignant.
Drink-drink! A's don't come easy! – his desk neighbor grinned.
After drinking the decoction, the schoolchildren, who had not slept until the morning, lay down on their desks and closed their eyes for a second. Opening them, they saw Marya Ivanovna near the table in a long black cape with a staff.
- Marya Ivanovna! - Petya gasped. What is this strange outfit you have?
- Why is it strange? – Marya Ivanovna was surprised. – The most common outfit for the lord of darkness, very suitable for the ceremony of absorbing souls.
- What did you treat me with, you fool? – Alexander asked quietly and indignantly.
“This is probably a side effect...” Peter answered him in surprise and became thoughtful.
“Today I decided to absorb your souls.” “The teacher said, grinning. – It’s been a long time since I took souls from lazy people!
- I saw something like this in computer game! – Petya said in a whisper. “When the dark lord touches us with the tip of his staff, he can take our souls!”
- I play this game too! – Sasha supported. – In order to neutralize the dark lord, you need to move your hands in a circular motion and say the magic word “arakunada.”
- So, let's do this while our souls are still with us! - Peter exclaimed.
The boys move their hands and shout the word “arakunada”.
“This won’t save you, dears, because my staff works at a distance!” – the teacher shouted and swung her staff.
The boys fall on their desks and close their eyes. Opening their eyes, they see Marya Ivanovna without her robe and staff.
- Sanya, the spell is working, her staff and robe fell off, let’s do it again! – Petya joyfully proclaimed.
The boys shout the word "arakunada" and continue to move their hands. The teacher looks at them in bewilderment.
- What does this mean? – she asks indignantly. – Is this what you’re telling me about sodium?
- Calm down, dark lord! - Sasha shouted. You won't get our souls!
- Yes, I don’t need your souls, but homework yours! – Marya Ivanovna laughed. - What kind of concert is it, boys? I go in and they are sleeping. I woke up - they were shouting strange words and waving their hands. Are you OK?
“Yes, yes, Marya Ivanovna...” Sasha answered, stuttering.
- So it turns out we all dreamed? – asked his seatmate. Listen, maybe at least the potion worked after all, let's try to force her to give us a high five?
- Yah you! – Alexander said offendedly and smiled.
Sketch “strange first-grader”
The main characters: a group of high school students, a teacher and a first grader. The only props you will need are markers.
The teacher walks down the corridor and sees high school students laughing loudly at their little first-grader.
- What's the matter? – the teacher was indignant. – Why do you offend someone who is younger than you?
And we don’t offend! - answered one of the crowd. - Look how stupid he is! We offer him to take either three markers or one, and he takes only one, saying that it’s better this way! If you don't believe me, look at it for yourself!
A high school student takes three markers in one hand and only holds one in the other.
- What will you take for yourself? – he asks the boy, laughing. – One felt-tip pen or several.
“I’d rather take one from you.” – the boy answers quietly, takes the felt-tip pen and puts it in his backpack.
- You see! – the high school student convinces the teacher.
The teacher takes the little student aside.
- Boy, why don’t you take three markers at once? – the teacher quietly asks the question.
“If I take away three markers at once, they’ll think I’m smart and the game will end.” - The boy answers. So, I’d rather be stupid, but with twenty markers! - takes out twenty won felt-tip pens from his briefcase.
Scene “school romance”
Characters: teacher Nina Semyonovna and student Kolya. The props you need are a sheet of paper and a pen.
Kolya runs up to Nina Semyonovna.
- Nina Semyonovna! - Kolya shouts. – I want to make a romantic card with my own hands and give it to a girl, please help me write a beautiful declaration of love.
- Who are you going to give it to, Kolenka? – the teacher asks in a whisper. – Probably Tanya from the parallel class? I see that all the boys really like her.
- No, not her! - Kolenka answers.
- Why? – Nina Semyonovna is surprised. Really, you don't like her at all?
“I like it, very much...” Kolya sighs heavily. “But now all the boys are hitting her on the head with their briefcases and pulling her beautiful braids, so she will soon be bald and stupid.” Why do I need such a wife?
Scene “without being late”
Characters: student Masha and teacher Lidia Mikhailovna. Props - a beautiful gold or gilded chain.
The teacher is preparing to start the lesson; fashionista Masha enters the class.
- Mashenka, I want to praise you! – the teacher is delighted. – You are very, very rarely late lately!
- Where should I go, Lydia Mikhailovna? – Mashenka answers, sighing heavily. My mother bought herself a gold chain from the latest fashion collection, and now the one who wakes up first puts it on! – Masha adds and shows the chain.
Characters: student Vovochka and teacher Natalya Nikolaevna. No props required.
The teacher checks the student's homework.
- Vovochka, I want to compliment you! – says Natalya Nikolaevna. – You showed yourself very well in doing your homework, you have excellent creative thinking!
- Thank you, Natalya Nikolaevna! - Vovochka thanks. Can I give you a compliment too?
- Well, of course you can! - Natalya Nikolaevna answers.
-Your nails are so long and beautiful! - Vovochka says, examining the hand. – You must be very comfortable climbing trees!
Scene "at the meeting"
Characters: the student’s mother, student Kostya and teacher Elena Petrovna. No props needed.
The teacher and mother scold Kostya.
- Kostya, remember, you promised to study well, and I promised to make you the head of the cultural sector? - asks the teacher.
- I remember, Elena Petrovna! - Kostya answers sadly.
- Do you remember, you promised me to study well, and I promised to buy you a bicycle? - asks mom.
“I remember, mommy...” Kostya says quietly.
- So why don’t you study for “A’s”? - asks both the teacher and mother.
- Well, if you don’t keep your promises, I don’t think it’s necessary to keep mine! – exclaims Kostya.
At entertainment events, educational institutions, funny skits for schoolchildren are most liked by the audience. The need to stage such skits may arise at a school KVN, a class hour or a performance competition amateur performances. Who is the script for schoolchildren talking about? Of course, about exactly the same students, poor students, excellent students, teachers, class teacher.
Surely the schoolchildren themselves will be interested in staging a couple of such skits. It's very easy to play yourself.
Script for a funny skit about schoolchildren "Los students"
This sketch contains an instructive story for schoolchildren about the importance of doing homework. Several elementary or middle school students take part in the funny production. They play the following roles: Kolya Petechkin - a poor student and a bully, Sasha Gavrilov - his bosom friend, Vitya Melnikov is an excellent student, two schoolgirls.
Props for the scene: a school desk with chairs, a wooden board, large prop buttons.
So, there is a desk on the stage. Two girls run out. Kolya Petechkin, chasing them, jumps out behind them with a plastic tube in his hands.
Girl 1 (shouting):
Stop it, Petechkin!
Girl 2:
Petechkin, stop it! Who are they talking to?
They are trying to hide from Petechkin at his desk.
Petechkin (selflessly spits papers through a straw):
And I will spit! And I will spit! La-la-la! I'm having so much fun!
Girl 1:
We need to do computer science, not mess around.
Girl 2:
Otherwise, Kolya, they will ask you today in computer science class, and you will get a bad mark!
(Both schoolgirls run away.)
Petechkin (stops spitting):
Computer science? That's right, the teacher promised to call me... What should I do? Oh, I'll try to get help from a friend! (Calls.) Sashka! Gavrilov!
(Sasha Gavrilov comes out.)
Gavrilov:
What do you want, Kolya?
Petechkin:
I need to copy computer science from someone. Maybe you can help a friend out?
Gavrilov:
I would be glad to help you, but, you know, what’s the secret: I didn’t do it myself.
Petechkin:
Eh, problem! How can that be, huh?
Gavrilov:
Do you know what?
Petechkin:
What?
Gavrilov:
Write to Melnikov.
Petechkin:
He won't give it.
Gavrilov:
How about you somehow manage...
(Vitya Melnikov appears with a notebook. He has an exemplary appearance, he wears glasses.)
Petechkin:
ABOUT! Melnikov! (Sarcastically.) Excellent student!
Melnikov:
Kolya Petechkin, poor student and truant! Gerasim, why did you drown Mu-Mu?
Petechkin:
I'm not Gerasim, I'm Nikolai.
Melnikov (sings with expression to the tune of a melody from the film “The Godfather”):
Why did Gerasim drown his Mu-Mu? She lay there and didn’t bother anyone! (He leaves proudly.)
Petechkin (following the departed Melnikov):
Oh, are you thinking of teasing? Well, I'll teach you a lesson. You'll let me write off computer science and the rest of my life...
Gavrilov (rubbing his hands):
Will it work on medications?
Petechkin:
No! He will be afraid of me! (Takes out a piece of a wide wooden board from behind the scenes.) This board will help me deceive him. Only you, Sanya, should help me in this matter.
Gavrilov:
Okay, what should I do?
Petechkin:
Confirm everything I say. (Puts the board under his sweater, presses it to his chest. Shouts backstage.) Hey, Melnikov! Come here! Melnikov! I'm telling you! Come here for a minute.
(Vitya Melnikov comes out.)
Melnikov (proudly):
What do you want, Petechkin?
Petechkin:
That's it, Victor, I have something to do with you.
Melnikov:
What business could you have with me?
Petechkin:
The most friendly. Help me out, eh? Don't let a person get lost. Let me write off computer science.
Melnikov:
Ah-ah-ah, that’s what you’re talking about. Do not even hope.
Petechkin (in a solemn bass voice):
Victor, then prepare to die! I’m not Kolya Petechkin, but you know who I am? You know? I am the Terminator!
Melnikov (dismissively):
What? You're completely crazy, aren't you?
Petechkin (pretentiously):
No. I just came from the future, from 2069. And I came with Miss...
Melnikov:
With what miss?
Petechkin (whispering):
Not with a miss, but with a mission. (Kolya corrects himself and continues calmly.) Yes, I came with a mission.
Melnikov (fearfully):
From which one?
Petechkin:
I must destroy you, since you know computer science well. And after many years you will know it so well that you will write a computer virus that will destroy all computers on the planet...
Melnikov (stuttering with fear):
But I don't know how to write viruses...
Petechkin:
You will learn in the future. And no one will be able to cope with him, because you will program him with high artificial intelligence. And no one will be able to unravel the algorithm of its action, because you don’t let anyone copy it. Therefore, no one can fight him.
In general, "hasta la vista, baby"!
(Pretends to pull the trigger of a machine gun and takes a militant pose.)
Melnikov (cringes):
Oh, don't! Spare me. I have a mother and little brother...
Petechkin (menacingly):
Spare?
Gavrilov (questioningly):
Maybe we'll spare him?
Melnikov:
And I want to ask, what feelings do you experience when you feel like a Terminator?
Petechkin:
Strength and power throughout the body. (Offers.) Hit me in the chest...
Melnikov (hitting the board hidden under his sweater):
Oh! (Grinces in pain.) You're like bulletproof! Why do you have bad grades in physical education?
Petechkin:
I'm pretending.
Melnikov:
Well, do you see how, somehow in a special way?
Petechkin:
I can see perfectly, even in the dark. Just ask me any question.
Melnikov:
Well, let's say... (Thinks.) How are you?
Petechkin (pretends, shakes his head):
And before my eyes, as if on the monitor of an invisible computer, several possible answers appear at once. The first option is “I’m a fool myself,” the second (reads a malicious rhyme) - “How are you, how are you, I laid an egg!” The third one is “none of your business.”
Melnikov:
And which one will you choose?
Petechkin (solemnly):
The fool himself!
Melnikov (offended):
Petechkin, why did you call me names?
Petechkin:
And in the future you will call me a fool, so I already answered you. That's how invulnerable I am.
Gavrilov:
So, Melnikov, will you let me write it off? Otherwise the Terminator will destroy you.
Petechkin (fiercely):
"Hasta la vista, baby!"
Melnikov:
Don't, don't ruin it! I'll let you write off computer science.
Gavrilov:
And mathematics. These sciences are interconnected...
Petechkin:
OK?
Melnikov (salutes):
That's right, Comrade Terminator.
(Petechkin waves his fists in front of Melnikov’s nose, demonstrating his muscles. Girls appear behind them. They place buttons on the chair.)
Girl 1 (to viewers):
Petechkin was spitting papers. So we will take revenge on him.
Girl 2:
Let's teach him a lesson! Let's put some buttons on his chair. Let him sit! (Both girls run away.)
Petechkin:
Now I can sit on a chair! (Plops down on a chair, immediately jumps up and yells.) Ahh!
Girls:
Ha ha! Serves you right, little chocolate! (They run away).
Melnikov:
So you're not made of iron? (He takes out a board from Kolya’s bosom.) Oh, that’s how you are! I won't let you write it off! You have to do your homework yourself! (Leaves.)
Gavrilov:
Eh, Kolka, next time we’ll have to do our homework ourselves.
Funny skit for schoolchildren "In class"
Classroom is the ideal place to stage this funny skit for schoolchildren. Moreover classroom teacher can personally participate in it, but any student can play his role.
Characters in the scenario: class teacher (KR); Alekseeva and Fedotova - glamorous blondes, laughing schoolgirls; Semyonov is a typical excellent student, a bore; Nikitin and Vovan are dull schoolboy hooligans; Samoilova is a slack, candy-on-a-stick student who is always late.
The scene begins. The class teacher enters the classroom.
KR:
Okay, okay, let's go. (Everyone comes in except Samoilova.) So, is that all?
Alekseeva:
What do you mean, no, of course not! (Samoilova comes in.) That’s it now!
KR:
And this is from the whole class? Where are the other 18 people? Can anyone explain where everything is?
Semenov:
Well, if we take into account everyone’s address, walking speed, terrain and force majeure circumstances, then 47% are already at home, and another 53% are on the road.
KR:
Yes, it’s clear to a physical education teacher that they left, the question is why did they leave?
Semenov:
Well, if we take into account the character of the majority, the number of lessons today and force majeure circumstances, then 100% missed the class hour.
KR:
Okay, Semenov, Alekseeva, Fedotova - this is understandable, decent students, but why did you come, Nikitin? And he brought another friend with him.
Semenov:
Well, if you consider...
KR:
Semyonov, shut up!
Semenov:
No, I just wanted to say that under no circumstances should you...
KR:
So, Semyonov, here’s a book for you, read it, take notes. So, Nikitin, what is your destiny here?
Nikitin:
And Vovan and I just turned off the lights, you can’t play on the computer, you can’t watch TV, so we came from idleness.
Vovan:
And I'm really, really interested in cool problems.
KR:
Well, Nikitin, you are seriously unlucky that your lights were turned off! Tell me, why did you check the fire extinguisher in the toilet on Thursday?
Nikitin:
Well, we were told that if there is a fire, we must immediately extinguish it with a fire extinguisher.
Vovan:
Yes, you need to simmer it right away.
KR:
So where did you get the idea that something was burning?!
Nikitin:
Well, it smelled like smoke.
Vovan:
Yes, it smelled.
KR (screaming):
As if you don’t know what kind of smoke our toilet smells like!
Nikitin:
Are you talking about this? No, if someone wanted to do this, they would have called me.
Vovan:
Yes, they would have invited him.
KR (after waiting):
All clear. I have no complaints about you, Vova, just a question for Nikitin, what is a student from another class at another school doing in our class hour?
Nikitin:
Oh, I told you, our lights were turned off, and Vovan also had nothing to do, so I took him to have fun, I need to help my friends.
KR:
Have fun! Well, the students went. Now to other others. Samoilova, not bad. There are no twos, no threes, no fours either... no grades at all! Samoilova, when will you start going to school? What are you sick with this time?
Samoilova:
In the encyclopedia of diseases, I reached the letter “G”. I have a headache.
KR:
I would say that you have an inflammation of cunning, but this, as Nikitin says, is a button accordion!
(The class applauds.)
Fedotova:
You just have to learn “IMHO” and Preved Medved and everything will be in chocolate.
Semenov:
I finished reading, took notes, and you know, I think that considering...
KR:
You don’t need to take anything into account, you should generally try to teach less, answer, give the floor to other students...
Semenov:
Yes, but this is from one point of view, psychology says that...
KR:
There's only one way out. Read another book for Semenov, take notes.
So, let's hurry up, we only have 15 minutes before Semenov finishes reading, we need to hurry.
Alekseev and Fedotov also received complaints about you! You talk in every lesson!
Alekseeva:
Yes, we're just on topic.
Fedotova:
Yes, of course on topic. (Giggle.)
KR:
And you laugh in class.
Alekseeva:
Yes you!
Fedotova:
No way (Giggle.)
KR:
Draw in your notebook!
Alekseeva:
Well, if only it’s a drawing book (And both burst into laughter. Everyone looks perplexed, like “Why laugh?”)
KR:
(Coughing, indicating that it’s time for them to stop) Actually, in a chemistry notebook.
Alekseva:
(Scratching the back of his head, thinking about what to lie.) So these are the drawings.
Fedotova:
Yes, okay, what’s there to hide, the chemist is such a sweetheart, he allows us. (They laugh again.)
KR:
Okay, there’s not much time left, Semyonov is already finishing reading, so tell me, who will make the wall newspaper?
(Silence.)
KR:
I think Nikitin is with his friend.
Nikitin:
Why us?
KR:
Well, your lights have been turned off, so you have nothing to do.
Vovan:
And I'm from a different school altogether.
KR:
Never mind. You said yourself that you are interested in cool problems. Besides, you need to help your friends. Whatman paper is in the closet. I’ll go, and calm down Semenov yourself.
It doesn’t take much time to prepare these funny skits for schoolchildren. Words are learned very easily, and in some places you can even improvise. By the way, such humorous skits good for summer camp. Before lights out, you can have fun and remember your time at school.
L. Mishchenkova
"I am late..."
Characters
Anton is a late student.
A student who is late for class bursts into the classroom.
Anton. Sorry I'm late.
Teacher. We understood this. Explain why. What's happened?
Anton. Oh, what just happened!.. I’ll start in order. When I hear the alarm clock, I feel like I'm being shot.
Teacher. And you jump up right away?
Anton. No, I’m lying there like a dead man! That's why Kesha, my parrot, wakes me up. At exactly 7.30 he says: “ Good morning! It's time to get up." But yesterday it was Kesha's birthday, and I treated him to ice cream. And in the morning Kesha didn’t wake me up - he lost his voice, poor fellow...
Teacher. You say you've eaten too much ice cream. Interesting...
Anton. Well, that means... I left the house... And then an armed bandit attacked me!
Teacher. Horror! So what did he do?
Anton. Took away my homework!
Anton. Then I decided to help the old lady cross the street. And as soon as I got it to the middle, the traffic light broke! The light turned red and the cars drove without stopping. So we sunbathed in the middle of the street until the traffic controller appeared.
Teacher. This is the story... Tell me, Anton, is there even a word of truth in your story?
Anton. As many as two: I'M LATE.
"At a break"
Characters
Classmates:
The bell rings from class. Children sit on chairs along the edge of the stage: some with a book in their hands, some with games, starting a conversation among themselves.
Vitalik. All people are like people: during recess they rush around the corridor, and we sit in the classroom like crazy.
Masha. So we punished ourselves: we behaved badly, now we sit in class for a whole week.
Someone sneezes.
Dasha. What will we have now?
Andrey. Mathematics.
Lesha. I love mathematics... (Addresses Sergei.) What is your favorite subject?
Sergey. And my favorite subject is TV!
Anton. And mine is a tape recorder!
Yura. And mine is a computer!
Natasha. Do you have a computer at home?
Yura. Eat.
Natasha. You probably want to become a programmer?
Yura. No, a doctor.
Natasha. Ha, you got a “C” in “The World Around You”!
Masha. So what, Natasha, he’ll fix her! And what kind of doctor - surgeon?
Yura. No, dental: people have one heart, but 32 teeth!
Someone sneezes.
Masha. Do you remember, Katya, how Lyudmila Vladimirovna asks Yura in class: “Why do storks fly to Africa for the winter?”
Kate. I remember, I remember... What did you say then, Yura?
Yura. It’s clear that blacks want to have children too!
Sergey. Vitalik, did you get hit by your parents yesterday for leaving home from rhythm class?
Vitalik. Not that it was terrible, but the relationship deteriorated. Imagine, in the morning I hint to my father: “Dad, I saw in a dream that you bought me three servings of ice cream.” Usually he understands the hints, but then he says: “Great, you can keep them!”
Anton. Well, that's nothing yet. But my dad once gave me two slaps on the head.
Nastya. For what?
Anton. The first time because I showed the diary with “twos”. And the second - when he saw that it was his old diary!
Nastya. Well, why did you show it? It's my own fault. You need to be more careful with your parents. They forgot that they themselves were once children.
Kate. What time is it, Lesh?
Lesha. 10.20.
Kate. This means we have 10 more minutes to sunbathe before the lesson starts.
Dasha. Lyudmila Vladimirovna said there will be no extension today...
Sergey. Badly. I don't like doing homework with grandma. Lyudmila Vladimirovna immediately recognizes her handwriting.
Zhenya. One day I was doing my homework at home. And when I handed in the notebook, Lyudmila Vladimirovna grabbed her head: “It’s simply incredible that one person can make so many mistakes!” And I say: “Why alone? Together with dad! "
Someone sneezes.
Anton. I also didn’t go to an after-school program once. So Lyudmila Vladimirovna asks: “Admit it, Anton, who did your homework for you?”
And I answer: “I don’t know, I went to bed early yesterday.”
Masha. What I like most about after school is drinking tea.
Andrey. Yes, great!
Masha. And my mother gave me a silver spoon and said: “Take it to class. When you drink tea, put a spoon in the cup. From it, from silver, all microbes die.”
And I say: “Mom, do you want me to drink tea with dead germs?”
Sergey. And I somehow shout: “Lyudmila Vladimirovna! My tea is unsweetened." And she: “Did you stir the sugar?” - “I stirred it.” - “Which direction?” - “To the right.” - “So the sugar has gone to the left!”
Anton sneezes and wipes his mouth with his sleeve.
Natasha. Anton, do you happen to have a handkerchief?
Anton. There is, but I'm sorry, Natasha, I don't lend it to anyone.
Masha. Listen, Lyosh, I want to ask you everything. When I pass by your windows, sometimes I hear your cat screaming in an almost human voice...
Lesha. I wash it.
Masha. I wash my cat too, but she doesn’t scream like that.
Lesha. Are you squeezing it out?
Masha. What a flayer you are, Lesha!
Lesha. You yourself are a knacker! But my cat doesn't have fleas. And you, Masha, better not forget to tell your mother that Lyudmila Vladimirovna is calling her to school!
Masha. And I already said, Lesha! “Mom,” I say, “we have a shortened parent-teacher meeting today.” And she asks: “How is this abbreviated?” And I answer: “Very simple: Lyudmila Vladimirovna, you, me and the director.”
L. TOAminsky
Sketch "Our cases"
Characters: teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.
The student goes to the board and prepares to write.
Teacher(dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was silent guiltily, and then promised to improve.”
A student writes from dictation on the board.
Teacher: Wonderful! Underline all the nouns in your story.
The student emphasizes the words: “dad”, “mom”, “Vova”, “behaviour”, “Vova”, “promise”.
Teacher: Ready? Determine which cases these nouns are in. Understood?
Student: Yes!
Teacher: Get started!
Student: "Father and mother". Who? What? Parents. This means the case is genitive.
Scolded someone, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. This means the case is nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has the instrumental case.
Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has the accusative case.
Well, the “promise,” of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's all!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Bring me the diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark you would suggest you set for yourself?
Student: Which one? Of course, an A!
Teacher: So, five? By the way, in what case did you name this word - “five”?
Student: In the prepositional form!
Teacher: In the prepositional? Why?
Student: Well, I suggested it myself!
AND. Butman
"Correct answer"
Characters: teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?
Student: What should we share, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Student: And between whom?
Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.
Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is this?
Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.
Teacher: Doesn't he owe you a plum?
Student: No, you shouldn't have plums.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?
Student: Four. And all to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why four?
Student: Because I don't like plums.
Teacher: Wrong again.
Student: How many is correct?
Teacher: But now I’ll put the correct answer in your diary!
Scene "3=7 and 2=5"
Teacher: Well, Petrov? What should I do with you?
Petrov: And what?
Teacher: You haven't done anything all year, haven't studied anything. I don’t really know what to put on your report.
Petrov(looking sullenly at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work.
Teacher: What are you talking about? Which one?
Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics was wrong and... proved it!
Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Great Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It’s not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and this... Archimedes!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is only equal to three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov(solemnly): This is not true! I proved that three equals seven!
Teacher: Like this?
Petrov: But look: 15 -15 = 0. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 =0 - also true. So, 15-15 = 35-35. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: We take it out common factors: 3(5-5) = 7(5-5). Right?
Teacher: Exactly.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!
Teacher: Yeah! So, Petrov, we survived.
Petrov: I didn't want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But you can’t sin against science...
Teacher: It's clear. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?
Petrov: Exactly!
Teacher: 8-8 = 0 is also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?
Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.
Teacher: We take out the common factors: 5(4-4) = 2(4-4). Right?
Petrov: Right!
Teacher: Then that’s it, Petrov, I’ll give you a “2”!
Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?
Teacher: Don’t be upset, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2=5. Is that what you did?
Petrov: Let us suppose.
Teacher: So I put “2”, who cares. A?
Petrov: No, it doesn’t matter, Ivan Ivanovich, “5” is better.
Teacher: Perhaps it’s better, Petrov, but until you prove this, you will have a D in a year, which, in your opinion, is equal to an A!
Guys, help Petrov.
AND. WITHEmerenko
"Folder under the mouse"
Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder by the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother ordered.
Andrey: Ha ha ha! It's really funny.
Vovka(surprised): What's so funny? I haven't even started to tell you yet.
Andrey(laughing): A folder... under your arm! Well thought out. Yes, your folder won’t fit under your arm, he’s not a cat!
Vovka: Why "my folder"? The folder is dad's. You've forgotten how to speak correctly because of laughter, or what?
Andrey: (winking and tapping his forehead): Ah, I guessed it! Grandfather - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, but he also teaches. Now it’s clear: dad’s folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it’s great that you came up with this - funny and with a riddle!
Vova(offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn’t listen to the end, but you laugh and get in the way of talking. And he dragged my grandfather under his arm, what a storyteller he was! I'd rather go home than talk to you.
Andrey(to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? For what funny stories tell me if you can’t laugh?
"At science lessons"
Characters: teacher and students in class
Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?
Student Petrov holds out his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Petrov.
Student Petrov: Tiger, tigress and... three tiger cubs.
Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!
Student Kosichkina: These are the kind of forests in which... it’s good to doze off.
Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.
Student Simakova: Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, please answer us, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans?
Student Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.
Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers have you read?
Student Petukhov: "Frog traveler"
Teacher: Who will answer how the sea differs from a river? Please, Mishkin.
Student Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.
Student Zaitsev reaches out his hand.
Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Is there something you want to ask?
Student Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from monkeys?
Teacher: Is it true.
Student Zaitsev: That's why I see: there are so few monkeys!
Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the lifespan of a mouse?
Student Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat.
Teacher: Meshkov will go to the board and tell us about the crocodile.
Student Meshkov(going to the board): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head is seven meters.
Teacher: Think about what you are saying! Is it possible?
Student Meshkov: Happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!
Teacher: Khomyakov, answer me, why do people need a nervous system?
Student Khomyakov: To be nervous.
Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?
Student Sinichkin: Because I'm terribly worried that the bell will interrupt an amazingly interesting lesson.
Teacher: Guys, who can answer where the bird is flying with a straw in its beak?
Student Belkov raises his hand higher than everyone else.
Teacher: Try it, Belkov.
Student Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Teplyakova, what are the last teeth a person develops?
Student Teplyakova: Inserts, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Now I will ask you very complex issue, for the correct answer I will immediately give you an A plus. And the question is: “Why is European time ahead of American time?”
Student Klyushkin reaches out his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.
Student Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!
"At math lessons"
Characters: teacher and students in class
Teacher: Petrov, you can hardly count to ten. I can’t imagine what you can become?
Student Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!
Teacher: Trushkin goes to the board to solve the problem.
Student Trushkin goes to the blackboard.
Teacher: Listen carefully to the problem statement. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...
Student Trushkin heads to the door.
Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going?!
Student Trushkin: I ran home, I have candy!
Teacher: Petrov, bring the diary here. I'll put your deuce in it yesterday.
Student Petrov: I don't have one.
Teacher: Where is he?
Student Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare his parents!
Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?
Student Vasechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: You just don't know math!
Student Vasechkin: No, you don't know my brother!
Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, what is three times seven?
Student Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!
Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?
Student Ivanov: And mom has no free time!
Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself.
The students get to work.
Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you copying from Terentyev?
Student Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he’s copying it from me, and I’m just checking to see if he did it correctly!
Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer, Shcherbinina.
Shcherbinin's student: This is a mathematical Greek.
Sketch "At Russian language lessons"
Characters: teacher and class students
Teacher: Let's hear how you learned your homework. Whoever answers first will receive a higher point.
Student Ivanov(pulls out his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, give me three at once!
Teacher: Your essay about a dog, Petrov, is word for word similar to Ivanov’s essay!
Student Petrov: Mary Ivanna, Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all of us!
Teacher: You, Sidorov, wonderful essay, but why isn't it finished?
Student Sidorov: But because dad was urgently called to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, admit it, who wrote your essay?
Student Koshkin: Don't know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: And as for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to see me tomorrow!
Student Klevtsov: Grandfather? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandpa. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.
Teacher: What kind of word is “egg”, Sinichkin?
Student Sinichkin: None.
Teacher: Why?
Student Sinichkin: Because it is unknown who will hatch from it: a rooster or a chicken.
Teacher: Petushkov, determine the gender of the words: “chair”, “table”, “sock”, “stocking”.
Student Petushkov: “Table”, “chair” and “sock” are masculine, and “stocking” is feminine.
Teacher: Why?
Student Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!
Teacher: Smirnov, go to the board, write down and analyze the sentence.
Student Smirnov comes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates, and the student writes down: “Dad went to the garage.”
Teacher: Ready? We are listening to you.
Student Smirnov: Dad is the subject, went away is the predicate, to the garage is ... a preposition.
Teacher: Who guys can come up with a sentence with homogeneous members?
Student Tyulkina raises her hand.
Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.
Student Tyulkina: There were no trees, bushes, or grass in the forest.
Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the numeral “three”.
Student Sobakin: My mother works at a knitwear factory.
Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the board and write down the sentence.
Student Rubashkin goes to the blackboard.
Teacher dictates: The guys caught butterflies with nets.
Student Rubashkin writes: The guys caught butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive?
Student Rubashkin: And what?
Teacher: Where have you seen bespectacled butterflies?
Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word “dry”?
Student Meshkov stood up and remained silent for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think about it, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Student Meshkov: Which one? Dryish!
Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat - thin, cry - laugh, day - night. Petushkov, now give me your example.
Student Petushkov: Cat dog.
Teacher: What does “cat and dog” have to do with it?
Student Petushkov: Well, how? They are opposites and often fight with each other.
Teacher: Sidorov, why do you eat apples in class?
Student Sidorov: It's a pity to waste time during recess!
Teacher: Stop immediately! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Student Sidorov: My older brother got sick.
Teacher: What do you have to do with it?
Student Sidorov: And I rode his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
Student Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?
Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a proposal with an appeal.
Sushkina's student: Mary Ivanna, call!
Sketch for schoolchildren. (Play from school life)
DEAR TEACHERS!
Characters:
Leading,
Zaitsev,
Lisitsyn,
Morkovkin,
Enotov,
Goshkin,
Koshkin,
Senkina,
Lastochkina.
Part 1
Leading (from students): Dear participants! I propose to declare our extremely important ceremonial meeting open! Today there is one problem on the agenda: to decide what we should do next with the school.
Students (from the seat): Correct! How long can you endure!
Leading: Because we do not comply with the main law of school life - “Learning should be fun!” The floor for the report is given to the main truant of the class, Zaitsev.
Zaitsev: Why am I skipping? Because my body requires sleep. And in comfortable conditions. I don't get enough sleep at my desk. And then, there are such insensitive teachers who wake you up at the most inopportune moment. I personally think this is disgraceful!
Lisitsyn (from the seat): If I don’t wake you up, you’ll fall on your neighbors! I believe that, on the contrary, the main problem because the lesson is too boring! There must be loud music, a disco there, something like that!
Leading: Please follow the rules! And you, Lisitsyn, don’t stick your head out until you’ve been given the floor. Carry on, Zaitsev. What constructive suggestions do you have?
Zaitsev: I have such constructive suggestions. Since we are forced to go to this school, humane conditions must be created. At least put some folding beds in! And please, protect from any Lisitsyns. Let them study in the other wing, since they need music and noise! Personally, I don't need them.
Leading: So you are for separate education? There is a rational grain in this. Secretary, write down: cots and separate education. Who wants to add something substantive? Morkovkin!
Morkovkin: I personally don’t like the fact that our health suffers at school. Do you know the statistics? Complete scoliosis and gastritis. Lisitsyn is right - if not dancing, then they should have built a swimming pool in the assembly hall, or something. And we need a normal human restaurant with normal healthy food, so as not to ruin the stomachs here. There are kebabs and ice cream. Chebureks. The list can be compiled later.
Leading : I think no one has any objections. (Addresses the secretary.) Write down: a restaurant instead of a canteen, a swimming pool instead of an assembly hall. I would add a tennis table to each classroom. Who is next?
Enotov: That's not what we're talking about. After all, it's all peripheral. We come to school and spend the best 11 years of our lives there, and for what? What are we being taught? Dear brothers! I look sadly at the current education system. She is terribly far from the people. Therefore: attention! The school urgently needs to open additional courses in extremely important disciplines. They will study things that are truly necessary for the survival of the student. For example: The best way write off, the best way to distract a teacher in class, how to get parents to spend money on them, how to reduce the school load to a minimum, how to spend school time pleasantly and usefully.
Leading: Personally, I respect Enotov because he knows how to think not only constructively, but also within the framework of reality. Since we will be forced to serve this term anyway, we must carry it out with minimal losses. Secretary, please record Enotov’s speech almost verbatim! I invite everyone present to think at their leisure what disciplines we really need. So. Next question. What should we do with teachers? Goshkin will make a report.
Goshkin: I actually observed it here, but they, in fact, have gone completely crazy. They give me all sorts of rubbish, my dad ate half a pack of analgin yesterday after he tried to solve my math problems. His mother then lowered his blood pressure. And they're yelling! Why yell? Well, I blurted out yesterday that Vilnius is a breed of kangaroo, so what, who feels bad about it? I suggest that everyone who yells and harasses the house should be kicked out of school.
Koshkin: And who will be left? You, Goshkin, are fundamentally wrong. You need to work with the material that you have. Not to expel, but to re-educate!
Senkina: And I feel sorry for them! We must be patient too! You, Koshkin, especially! Who threw a cockroach into my compote yesterday in the dining room? You still have to re-educate and re-educate yourself!
Goshkin : Ha! It's a pity! Feel sorry for yourself! They are generally our class enemies, one might say!
Leading: Let's avoid class segregation, please. Carry on, Senkina.
Senkina: No, really, just think about it. By 8am every day. You won’t be able to skip much, because adults have even more serious problems in this regard. We tolerate them one per lesson, they tolerate us thirty at a time. Imagine, Goshkin, that you would have to communicate with thirty teachers for 45 minutes! Horror! Here, only from Redkin and Fedkin you can go crazy - you will not only scream, but also start biting! This is any of us, just hit them on the head with a briefcase - and for fifteen minutes you can relax. But such methods are prohibited for teachers.
Koshkin: And my father says that everyone chooses their own destiny. Nobody forced them into school. Unlike us, by the way. Since they have already come, let them be patient.
Senkina: It's good for you to reason! And she, maybe, was a snotty girl when her parents persuaded her to go to ped. Do you know what kind of ancestors there are?! Can't really argue with that. And now she’s old enough to learn a new way, but doesn’t know how to do anything else. Your mother works as a cleaner, has she dreamed of this all her life?
Koshkin : Where will she go with three children? She might even go to school, but who will support her?
Senkina: So are teachers. They got into trouble once, but now they are enduring with all their might. And we, in turn, must show humanity and not become embittered, like you, Goshkin, but find ways to improve relationships and influence gently, delicately.
Leading : Okay, Senkina, everyone understands. You are smart, in short, your task is to organize classes to study teachers and correct their behavioral stereotypes.
Lastochkina: Or maybe we should even give them a vacation? Let them rest a little, and at the same time become better.
Leading: They would be happy, but who will allow them? They have the same attendance and program.
Lastochkina: Why can’t we teach the lesson ourselves? Let them slowly make their way to school, sit in the back desk, and we will all tell them what is supposed to happen there. Let them relax for at least a week or two. And some of them are really painful to look at - they’re so twitchy, they’re crying like a madhouse.
Leading : Personally, I don't mind. Who agrees? Let's write it down. How do we present this to them?
Senkina: Let's come up with something!
Leading: OK. I believe that we had a useful meeting today. Will be working.
Everyone leaves.
Part 2
There are two people on stage - the Presenter and Senkina.
Leading: Dear teachers! We are extremely happy to congratulate you on the upcoming Teacher's Day! On this solemn day, we want to tell you how much we love you and how grateful we are to you for everything you do for us.
Senkina : Dear teachers! We know how tired you are from your hard work. That's why we have prepared a surprise for you. We are in a hurry to please you! You don't have to prepare for lessons for the next two weeks! Because we will lead them for you... we! And you will relax quietly and calmly in the back desks. Like your laziest students.
Leading: And we promise not to shame you, not to call your parents to school.
Senkina: Don't clutter your head with overwhelming tasks.
Leading: Don't pick on your appearance.
Senkina: You might even be late!
Leading : And skip classes!
Senkina: No, of course, we will try to make your classes interesting. But we won’t force you!
Leading: We also wish you all:
All (one by one):
- Happiness!
- Hello!
- Energy!
- Courage!
- Capable students!
- Responsible parents!
- Loyal administration!
- Optimism!
- And big salaries!
All (in chorus): Happy holiday!
Boys in fluffy skirts come out, dance the cancan and sing a comic song to the melody of an operetta.
It’s impossible to live in the world without school, no.
It contains the happiness of life,
In it the dawn of fate.
Teachers teach us here
Me, you, you, me.
They and I are connected by the same fate.
You and I have been coming here since childhood,
School has replaced our home,
We come here every day.
We congratulate you on this holiday,
With all my heart and soul now
We will play and sing
About how fun we live.
We will play and sing
About how fun, how happily we live.
Sketch for schoolchildren
THEATER PERFORMANCE “RING SHOW”
There are two teams on stage. In front of one there is a sign on which in capital letters"Parents" is written, "Teachers" is written in front of the other.
Leading: Attention attention! Our microphone is installed on the parent Nth meeting schools. Team of teachers versus team of parents. Who will win? So, dear fans, who are we rooting for? Yes, my parents, but I also feel sorry for the teachers... So, let's start!
1st teacher: Dear comrade parents! We invited you today to report on new outrages committed by your children.
1st parent : Dear fellow teachers! Our houses are located next to your school, and we see with our own eyes what your students afford.
2nd teacher : Your children.
2nd parent : Your students.
3rd teacher: I wonder who brings frogs from home and makes them croak in class?
3rd parent : And who forces children to saw the legs of chairs at home, supposedly doing their homework?
4th teacher: What if you do all your homework for your children?
4th parent: You assign stupid tasks and want the children to become smarter!
5th teacher: Yeah, but how wise you are! And who gives prizes to children for good grades? I just wonder how many of our fives your salary is enough for?
5th parent : And our settlements with children do not concern you.
6th teacher: Have you seen what your children did to the walls of the school?
6th parent: Who taught them to write?
7th teacher : And the sloppy ones!
7th parent: Look at your school! In general, it’s high time to organize parking. Otherwise, when you come to pick up your child, there is nowhere to park the car.
8th teacher: It would have been a good idea to help the school improve the grounds a long time ago.
8th parent: Your students...
9th teacher: Your children!
Leading: Stop, it's a draw, the question remains open.
Scene “Telepathy”
Neumnov (sings with joy). Well, Copperfields, you came up with a great idea. Telepathy! Thoughts at a distance! Come on, tell me something.
Copperfields. He spreads his hands like a psychic.
Neumnov. The storm covers the sky with darkness... Why are you telling me literature - we have biology now. Here, take the textbook - paragraph 36. Look, inspire more strongly.
Copperfield sits on the edge of the stage, puts a textbook on his knees, looking at it, sending thoughts.
Call. Start of the lesson. The literature teacher enters.
Teacher. Hello guys, Irina Ivanovna got sick, so instead of biology there will be literature. So, the novel by A. S. Pushkin “Eugene Onegin”. Who wants to answer? As always, a forest of hands. Neumnov, to the board.
Neumnov (clears throat). The image of Evgeny Onegin. Onegin is a socialite from St. Petersburg, a metropolitan aristocrat. Drawing the image of the hero, Pushkin says in detail... (telepathy begins) that his body, the thallus, consists of a mushroom and algae, which are in close relationship. He is very unpretentious. Lives in deserts, rocks, tundras. When it dies, it forms humus. This is his main role... in the novel.
Teacher. Neumnov, what's wrong with you?
Neumnov. Can I tell you better about Lensky? Lensky has many excellent inclinations; the author points to his inherent “noble aspiration of the feelings and thoughts of the young.” It blooms in mid-summer. Insects visit its flowers poorly - they have neither nectar nor an abundance of pollen. (Shakes his head.) Lensky is an educated, cultured person. It is planted in the spring; before planting, the tubers are germinated in a bright room.
Teacher. Neumnov, are you sick by any chance? Or are you not ready to answer?
Neumnov. Ready, ready. Can female image? Tatyana is a sweet ideal for Pushkin. She is a whole person. By nature, Tatyana is gifted with a lively mind. In autumn, she lays eggs in a cocoon woven from a thin web. She weaves a cocoon in secluded places: under stumps, stones. Externally, Tatyana is larger than the male.
The teacher looks puzzled.
Neumnov. No!!! No!!! I prepared the image of Olga.
Teacher. Well, Olga is Olga.
Neumnov. The complete opposite of Tatyana is her sister Olga. Olga has a lot of cheerfulness, energy, and playfulness. Her body is covered with scales. When shedding, the skin comes off in one piece. She moves by twisting her body along the ground. Its toxicity is well known.
Teacher. Enough! Sit down. Col!
Call.
Neumnov (runs up to Copperfield). Well, Copperfields, well, he made friends. Thoughts at a distance. So much for telepathy. (Hits him on the head with a textbook.) Here you go - an A is guaranteed! (Hits.) Here you are - you will become an excellent student!
By the will of fate it happened
Or is this the cross you have?
And all my strength was given to the school,
And going to class is like going into battle.
And at night you dream about the board,
And you have no other worries,
As soon as tomorrow what happens,
And will the class understand the task?
Chorus: Keep your nose up, dear teacher,
Is life hard or good?
Knowledge and soul are one (2 times),
The love for students is the same!
Thank you for everything, our relatives,
And even if we upset you,
Forgive us, we know every hour,
Dedicating yourself to work is not easy,
I think about us alone
You live by caring alone!
Repeat chorus
It was in the evening
The children have nothing to do.
Someone was jumping and jumping,
Someone was dozing in the noise.
1. Today I have a “5”. And you?
2. And I have a “2” in physical education – nonsense!
3. And today in our class it was fun again:
Ivanov managed to chew all the crayons during recess.
Mary Ivanovna - for chalk, Ivanov turned white.
4. And we have a parrot! And you?
5. And a hippopotamus stomped towards us! Here!
6. We wanted to have an aquarium in our class,
So that the fish can save us from stress and overload.
7. In order to keep your aquarium longer,
You need to increase your security staff, that's for sure!
8. We played computers for probably a whole hour!
After that, they forgot what Seryoga and I were called.
9. And our briefcase has disappeared, that’s it!
Lost phone, that's two!
And fourthly, the boy Roma forgot all this at home!
10. And we have darkness! And you?
11. And we have even more. We have no time to be lazy:
There is a subject “learn to learn”!
12. What a subject! Believe it or not -
In the classroom, I am a strategist.
I will find a way to the book,
I can understand the whole context.
14. I do sambo, I go to an iso-circle,
I am interested in jazz ensembles and value theater.
15. I have a swimming pool, French, piano and wushu.
I have time to do everything everywhere, I won’t miss anything.
16. And our teacher is cool,
Strict, smart and funny.
17. Very kind and diligent.
18. Exemplary.
19. The teacher is wonderful.
20. Patient and attentive.
21. There is a very competent director,
22. The head teacher is experienced and talented.
23. We have a school, friends.
24. We are all a friendly family.
25. It was in the evening,
There was no point in arguing.
And at various holidays, in addition to amateur performances, at which the vocal and dancing talents of classmates are clearly demonstrated, funny dramatizations, theatrical performances and skits are especially popular.
We offer a scenario comic school skit "Deserved grade", written based on the story of the same name by Konstantin Melikhan (thanks to the author!). Such a scene can be shown on any holiday: Day of Knowledge, Teacher's Day, March 8, or graduations.
Characters:
Teacher Maria Ivanovna (name can be any)
Pupils (it’s better to call the guys by their proper names; in this scenario, the names are conditional. There may be more or less of them)
School scene script
Maria Ivanovna: Denis, where do wood grouse winter?
Denis: They roam under the snow.
Maria Ivanovna: Interesting observation. Lera, what do you know about crabs?
Lera: Crabs... (waiting for a hint) These are fish... Similar to crayfish!
Maria Ivanovna: Sit down, already! Julia, What class does the cross spider belong to?
Julia: To the cruciferous class!
Maria Ivanovna: And our Yulia has all the flowers on her mind! Where do hamsters live? Kirill!
Kirill: At the pet store!
Maria Ivanovna: What are you saying?!!!
Rogov enters
Maria Ivanovna: Well, why are you late this time?
Rogov: I accidentally fell into a puddle, returned home to change clothes, and at the same time... had lunch.
Maria Ivanovna: And how did you eat? Sit down, my goodness! Well, since we're all here, let's listen to... Rogov! Learned?
Rogov: Learned.
Maria Ivanovna: Get started!
Rogov: Aloud?
Maria Ivanovna (menacingly): Rogov!
Rogov: Your smile is wonderful!
Maria Ivanovna (conciliatory): Well, well, Rogov, tell me.
Rogov: Your hair is always so neat! Not what I have.
Maria Ivanovna (embarrassed): Thank you.
Rogov: Your blouse is beautiful, it suits you.
Maria Ivanovna: Am I right, you haven't learned your lesson?
Rogov: Sorry, I didn't learn. You can’t hide anything from you... Of course, with such and such work experience! How long have you, Mary Vanna, been suffering with people like me at school?
Maria Ivanovna: Oh, Rogov, Rogov! Tell me, where do birds fly for the winter?
Rogov: There!
Maria Ivanovna: Well, sit down. Troika!
(Addresses to the class): Well, since Rogov distinguished himself so much for us, I’ll ask everyone. Now we will conduct a quick survey with you. Anya, what benefits do ants bring?
Anya: Ants protect fruits from caterpillars, and people then collect and preserve them.
Maria Ivanovna: Who knows why some birds fly south?
Fedya: And some are probably lazy!
Maria Ivanovna: Look, our Fedor has woken up! Where do whales live? Well!
In chorus: In China!
Maria Ivanovna: Well, you are on a roll with me today: the further you go, the more interesting it gets! How do pigeons reproduce? Rogov!
Rogov: Pigeons lay eggs and then hatch from them.
Maria Ivanovna: It’s good that it’s not cabbage rolls! Sit down, my dear... Julia, what are nature reserves?
Julia: Nature reserves are places where animals take a break from people.
Maria Ivanovna (walking around the class): Really? I didn’t even know! Where can I find a teacher reserve? Kirill, what skull bones do you know?
Kirill (waking up): Frontal, parietal and back of the head!
Maria Ivanovna examines the note taken from the girls.
Rogov (speaks with Fedor, his desk neighbor): There is no secret here: tell this kikimore a lie about her eyes and blouses, and she will relax!
Fedya: Hush, you will hear!
Rogov: Nonsense! Don't drift, she's two meters away and Ramstein won't hear!
Maria Ivanovna (takes his seat): Now let’s listen to Rogov.
Rogov: You already asked me...
Maria Ivanovna: And I’ll ask you about an old topic. Tell us about...
Rogov: Your smile is wonderful...
Maria Ivanovna: What else?
Maria Ivanovna: Closer to the topic!
Rogov: You have the figure of a top model!
Maria Ivanovna (looking at his figure doubtfully): So you don’t know anything at all!
Rogov: You are just like Messing, you see everything, you know everything! And why did you go to school to work? You're ruining your nervous system because of people like me. Tomorrow is a holiday: You should go to a spa salon, but here you are ruining your health! And even better - go to the sea, read poetry, meet a good person!
Maria Ivanovna: Well, sit down, Rogov. Troika...