Disrespect for people in works. Disrespectful attitude towards people. Arguments in the Russian language for the composition of the exam

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We write an essay-reasoning in the format of the Unified State Exam - 2017 Text by V.P. Astafiev (option 5 from the collection of I.P. Tsybulko -EGE-Russian language-2017) The work of the teacher of Russian language and literature Repina Ekaterina Kirillovna (Moscow)

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A plan for an essay-reasoning Problem of the text. Commentary on the problem of the text. The position of the author of the text. My opinion (my position). Literary argument. Second argument. Conclusion to the composition.

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The problem of the text of V. P. Astafiev There are several problems in the text of the Soviet and Russian writer Viktor Petrovich Astafiev. One of them is the problem of uncultured and disrespectful attitude towards people. Is it okay to treat people around you disrespectfully? Why does a person allow himself to treat others rudely and uncivilized? The author tries to draw the attention of readers to this topical problem, includes us in the dialogue, so that everyone thinks about how he treats the people around him?

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Commentary on the Problem of the Text Viktor Petrovich Astafiev examines the question of a cultureless and disrespectful attitude towards people on the example of two cases from the life of the narrator. The first incident, which happened to the orphanage, does not give an adult peace of mind, his whole life is tormented and gnawed by his conscience for the fact that he so thoughtlessly and irritatedly "pulled the plug of the loudspeaker from the socket." And the second case is the behavior of the audience of the concert in Yessentuki, the behavior is unceremonious, rude and angry. The author writes about this: "I wanted to ask forgiveness for all of us from the lovely conductor ... and from the orchestra members." And this incident is also deeply rooted in the memory of the writer and worries him very much. And how not to worry about all this? After all, this is a very burning question. It touches each of us! We all want to be treated only humanly, that is, culturally, respectfully and kindly.

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Commentary on the problem of the text That is why V.P. Astafiev tries very hard to convince us that every person remembers that all people deserve a cultural, respectful and kind attitude towards themselves everywhere and always. Wherever a person is: at home, on the street, at work, in an educational institution, in a theater or concert hall ... After all, no one is allowed to offend human dignity. A person, showing a cultural, respectful and kind attitude to all people, helps this first of all to himself. And not only to himself, but to all those with whom he communicates. And this is of no small importance in our life ...

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The position of the author of the text This text proves the idea that if a person shows disrespect to the people around him, he insults them. Such an attitude towards those with whom we communicate is simply unacceptable. From the text of V.P. Astafiev, one can clearly understand that a cultured person has self-respect. And this quality in a person will never allow him to be disrespectful, uncultured and rude to others.

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My opinion (my position) My opinion completely coincides with the point of view of the writer Astafyev, since everything that the author wrote about is painfully familiar to me, as if the text tells about what I had to see and hear. I have repeatedly visited theaters in Moscow and other cities and the Moscow House of Music. I saw the situations that V.P. Astafiev wrote about. And I, too, felt heartache ashamed when, at the beginning of the performance, latecomers noisily entered the hall, and during the concerts, mobile phones rang, the noise of candy wrappers was heard, and some spectators left the hall without waiting for such a wonderful moment when everyone was grateful. artists and performers.

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The first argument More recently, I read several articles about the writer A.P. Chekhov, about the artist Kachalov, about the engineer Shukhov. All of them are united by the fact that they always and everywhere treated others with great respect. And most importantly, everyone who communicated with them was not only interested, but also very comfortable, since they had a talent for self-respect and a respectful, cultural attitude towards those with whom they communicated. Artist Art theater Vasily Ivanovich Katchalov loved people very much, appreciated and respected them. He treated women in a special way, and in the presence of the artist they also felt in a special way:

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The first argument is that every woman "felt attractive and worthy of care." Such a case happened with Kachalov. Late in the evening, the artist saw two unfamiliar women. They seemed too strange to him. They were blind women who got lost. Kachalov quickly escorted them to the tram, helped them get on the car. What motivated such an attitude towards blind women? Is it just observance of the rules of good form? I think that the depth of this act lies not only in the cultural and respectful attitude towards unfamiliar women, but above all in the spiritual qualities of the artist - in his heart and kind

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The first argument in relation to all people around. What is the conclusion that suggests itself from this? Knowledge of the norms of cultural and respectful attitude towards people only helps to manifest the inner qualities of a person: kindness, humanity, decency, restraint ...

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First literary argument And in Denis Ivanovich Fonvizin's comedy "The Minor" we see a completely opposite picture, where the attitude towards everyone around is far from the best way... Why is this happening? Self-respect is absolutely not characteristic of all the inhabitants of the house. But where does he come from if the house is run by an ignorant mother and wife? From morning to night, arbitrariness, humiliation, rudeness, rudeness reign here ... A terrible intemperance, an uncultured and disrespectful attitude towards everyone is what distinguishes this house. This cruel mistress of the house declares to the truth: “… now I swear, now I fight; so the house holds on. " Prostakova is even proud of it! Reading a comedy, we understand that the author wants to tell us: "Anyone who is not able to respect himself will never be respectful and culturally related to others."

Everyone in this life has their own business. In my opinion, the work of any person should be respected, be it the work of a janitor, engineer, musician or scientist. Those who work diligently are worthy of attention and respect.

Disrespectful attitude towards people. This is one of the problems raised by the author in the text.

In our society, you can often see a disrespectful and uncultured attitude towards people. People who are too lazy to throw their garbage into the garbage chute leave it in the doorways, making life difficult for themselves and their neighbors. Children who want to buy themselves an expensive gadget demand it from their parents, not understanding how hard they got the money. Teenagers and adults paint on the walls, damaging architectural monuments and other people's property.

As a child, the hero reacted disrespectfully to the work of the singer, who later became his beloved. In the orphanage, where he used to live, there was a loudspeaker, and one day the singer's voice was heard in it, which irritated the boy, and then he pulled the plug of the loudspeaker without anyone's permission. This act became one of the most shameful in the hero's life.

Many years later, he ended up in Essentuki, where a free symphony concert took place. The musicians tried to explain to the public that they were going to play, what these works were about, but many listeners did not like classical works, they behaved rudely, leaving their seats with noise during a musical event: “they left with indignation, shouts, abuse, as if they had them in the best lusts and dreams. " The hero of the work felt ashamed for the behavior of the vacationers, who did not respect the musicians who “. ... they try to convey the composer's suffering with all their strength, capabilities and talent. "

The author is convinced that one cannot be so indifferent and disrespectful to the work of other people. By showing disrespect to others, we insult them. "Help!. ... Well, if you can't help me, at least help yourself! ... "

This problem was addressed by the authors of both Russian and foreign literature... In the novel "Coraline" by Neil Gaiman main character she was unhappy with her parents, believed that they paid little attention to her, did not want to help them around the house, to obey them. Once Coraline found a small door in her new home, behind which there was exactly the same world, the same mom and dad. Only instead of eyes they had buttons and they were very kind and caring, they cooked well and were real wizards. The comparison was not in favor of the real world and Coraline began to visit her new parents for a long time. But the truth turned out to be terrible, another world was created by a witch who wanted to lure Coraline and deprive her of the opportunity to communicate with her real parents. At the end of the story, the main character realized that she loves her mom and dad as they are, and she doesn't need others.

Also, in the novel "The Martian Chronicles" Ray Bradbury describes the story of a fascinating discovery, rapid settlement and merciless plunder by earthlings of the planet Mars. People who came from Earth and wished to populate Mars do not respect the work of the Martians, who erected their homes, enriched their culture, developed all the time they lived on the planet, they try to find as many expensive jewelry, precious metals and their deposits as possible, but not in order to help the Martians in their desire to improve the world, but only in order to collect it and take it to Earth, where it can be sold. People are disrespectful to their art, do not enjoy the beautiful architecture and nature that the inhabitants of Mars are trying to preserve, they only destroy everything in their path in search of expensive prey.

Thus, a person must be judged not only by his own labor, but also by how he treats a stranger. The ability to honor the work of others is something that is worthy of respect.

We write essays for you!

Essay on the topic "The problem of the complexity of human relationships, non-humanity, indifference to others, lack of responsibility of a person before other people."

Every person is a biosocial being. This means that in addition to biological needs, we also have social ones. Such as communication, different kinds relationships. In relationships, people often have problems, because people are not always ready to understand each other.

The topic of human relationships is very important in modern society, because more and more often we are witnessing difficulties in relationships, lack of humanity, respect and responsibility. Many great philosophers, writers and poets have talked about human relationships and the problems that can arise between people.

For example, Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin in his novel "Eugene Onegin" examines in great detail the topic of human relationships, as well as the topic of loneliness. The protagonist of the novel, Eugene Onegin, is unhappy because he has become "unwillingly selfish." The environment made him that way, the society in which he was. Because of this, Onegin became selfish, indifferent to the fate of other people. Everyone who tried to get closer to him became unhappy, Onegin himself, also did not find happiness in life. All the actions of the hero and the influence of the surrounding society on him became the cause of deep disappointment in the life and loneliness of the hero.

KG Paustovsky in his work "Telegram" also touches upon the topic of human relationships and various problems that arise between people. The heroine - a girl Nastya, lives in Leningrad and receives a telegram that her mother is sick. But the girl had many important things to do that did not allow her to go to her mother. Later, when the girl still managed to get to the village where her mother lived, she found out that her mother was no longer there ... So it happens that sometimes even the closest people act so calmly and indifferently towards their relatives.

Valentin Grigorievich Rasputin in his work "Live and Remember" tells us the following story. A man who deserted once, again returns to the vicinity of his village. But the inhabitants do not want to accept him, everyone turns away from him except his wife. Maria tries her best to save him, doing her best, but word of mouth is scarier. Persecuted by her fellow villagers, Maria realizes that she could not achieve better life for herself and her husband, and can not live on like this. Maria commits suicide. In this story we see how worried about her family and how Mary loved her husband. But her husband turned out to be cowardly and selfish, which is why the end of this story is so sad.

In Mikhail Yuryevich Lermontov's novel "A Hero of Our Time", the writer tells us about a multitude of extraordinary personalities who found it difficult to get along in society. Many of these people are “superfluous” in the existing society, since they differ from the others in their individuality, and the public mass does not want to accept them as such. The main character of the work is Pechorin, a man with a difficult fate. From the novel we learn that Pechorin strives for knowledge, that "immense powers" are hidden in him. But, there is also a lot of bad in him, a lot of atrocities lie on his conscience and does not allow him to live in peace.

Based on the foregoing, we can conclude that mutual understanding is necessary in society. Each of us should value and respect the other's choices. Indeed, without mutual understanding, forgiveness and love for each other, people will not be able to get along together and avoid conflicts.

Essay on "Human Relationships"

This text raises the problem of relationships between people, namely, it touches on such an important aspect in them as communication.

Despite the fact that the text refers to the beginning and middle of the twentieth century, the problem described in the text remains relevant in our time. V modern world the number of social contacts between people has only increased due to the development of various spheres of human life, so no one should ignore the problem of communication.

The author believes that the ability to communicate is a very important component of the success of people employed in various fields of activity. In addition, the author emphasizes that the ability to communicate is essential for a happy personal life. The author notes that it is necessary to communicate sincerely, since otherwise it negatively affects the subject of communication, which does not comply with this rule.

I completely agree with the position of the author. In the modern world, a lot really depends on the ability to communicate: according to a person's speech, those around them judge the level of upbringing, education of a person, and the conclusions drawn on the basis of such observations can play a decisive role in the future. As for sincerity in speech, you should always remember that communication occurs with a person, and here the principle "Treat people the way you want to treat you" is very useful, but everyone wants a sincere attitude and communication, not like that is it? In addition, a person who constantly controls himself, without true feelings, greatly harms his the spirit world... Examples confirming the correctness of the author of the article can be found in various sources.

First, it is literary works... So, for example, in the work of F.M. Dostoevsky's "Idiot" Prince Myshkin is a very, simple, open and sincere person, which attracts people to him, because in the society in which the prince is, everyone has long forgotten about such behavioral phenomena.

Secondly, in the life of every person there comes a moment when emotions, impressions, events, any other feelings overwhelm him and he needs to speak out, but at the same time not a small part of what worries him, but everything, he needs to be sincere in conversation , only then will he feel the lightness and the feeling of a slightly incomprehensible vault.

Thirdly, in such television programs as "Let them talk", "Speak and show" and so on, you can see many examples where only sincere communication helps to establish good relationships between people, which is very important.

Thus, the problem of communication is really very important in the modern world, and sincerity is an important aspect in communication. Let a person be serious, use unusual manners in communication, but sincerity must be present without fail, otherwise a person constantly adjusts to someone, ceases to be himself, and this should not be ...

Arguments in the Russian language for the composition of the exam.

This page contains a huge database of arguments for various problems of essays on the Russian language. The base is updated every day. The table below will help the student in arguing an essay in the format of the Unified State Exam.

To quickly find the problem you need and the arguments to it, we recommend using the keyboard shortcut " CTRL + F".. (Search form on this page).

What influence does personality have on the course of history?

L. N. Tolstoy."War and Peace" One of the central problems of the novel is the role of the individual in history. This problem is revealed by the example of the life of Kutuzov and Napoleon. The writer believes that there is no greatness where there is no kindness and simplicity. According to Tolstoy, a person whose interests coincide with the interests of the people can influence the course of history. Kutuzov understood the mood and desires of the masses, therefore he was great. Napoleon thinks only of his own greatness, therefore he is doomed to defeat.

What is the meaning of human life?

M. Yu. Lermontov. "Hero of our time"... Pechorin's misfortune, by his own admission, misunderstanding of the meaning of his life, he says that he felt strength in his soul, but did not know what to apply them to, he could not find a use for them.

I. A. Goncharov. Oblomov. Good, kind, talented person Ilya Oblomov was unable to overcome himself, did not reveal his best features. The absence of a high purpose in life leads to moral death. Even love could not save Oblomov. L. N.

Tolstoy. "War and Peace"... The main thing in the best heroes of the novel - Andrei Bolkonsky and Pierre Bezukhov - is the desire for moral self-improvement, the desire to "be quite good", to bring good to people.

Self-realization of a person. Life as a struggle for happiness

1) Let's imagine that some kind wizard or some highly developed aliens decided to bless humanity: they saved people from the need to work, entrusting all the work to smart machines. What would become then with us, with our age-old dream of an idle and cheerful life? Man would lose the joy of overcoming, and life would turn into a painful existence.

2) From a tiny apple tree a seed thrown into the ground will eventually grow a tree that will give sweet, juicy fruits. In the same way, a person must realize the forces inherent in him by nature, sprout in order to please people with the fruits of his labors.

3) Life drama of Eugene Onegin, an outstanding person, was caused precisely by the fact that "hard work was nauseous to him." Growing up in idleness, he did not learn the most important thing - to work patiently, achieving his goal, to live for the sake of another person. His life turned into a joyless existence "without tears, without life, without love."

The problem of real and imaginary values.

I. Bunin in the story "The gentleman from San Francisco”Showed the fate of a person who served false values. Wealth was his god, and this god he worshiped. But when the American millionaire died, it turned out that true happiness passed by the person: he died, and did not know what life is.

M. Gorky, working on one from his novels, he described the scene of the murder of a woman. Suddenly the writer screamed-zero and fell unconscious. The doctors who arrived found the writer with a wound in the very place where the heroine of his work was stabbed with a knife. This example shows that a true writer does not just invent events, but writes with the blood of his soul, he passes everything created through his heart.

The name of a simple peasant girl Jeanne d "Arc is known to everyone today. For 75 years, France waged an unsuccessful war with the English invaders. Jeanne believed that she was destined to save France. A young peasant woman persuaded the king to give her a small detachment and was able to do what the smartest military leaders could not do. : she ignited people with her frantic faith. After many years of shameful defeats, the French were finally able to defeat the invaders. When you reflect on this truly wonderful event, you understand how important it is for a person to be guided by a great goal.

To the book "And there was no better brother" Azerbaijani writer Maksud Ibrahimbekov includes stories and stories, in which our contemporaries are presented. The works of M. Ibragimbekov are always topical and pose the most important, burning moral and ethical problems. The conflict in them arises and is resolved at the level of moral tasks and attitudes. The writer's heroes are looking for genuine life values, sifting them out from the imaginary ones.

The main character story by Elena Katasonova "Who needs a blue bird?" - an orientalist working in one of the research institutes. He knows well the country he is engaged in, his business and personal affairs are going well with him. But it happens that life confronts him with the need to choose between real and imaginary values. And this choice is very difficult, because in order to get through to the present, Paul has to break too much, change in his well-flowing, well-ordered life. The story poses urgent moral problems in an acute, sometimes dramatic form.

Everyone has the fate of the world in their hands

V. Soloukhin tells a parable about a boy who disobeyed an unknown voice and frightened away a butterfly. An unknown voice sadly announced what would happen next: the disturbed butterfly would fly away to royal garden, a caterpillar from this butterfly will crawl around the sleeping queen's neck. The queen will be frightened and die, and the power in the country will be seized by an insidious and cruel king who will cause many troubles to people.

A. Kuprin wrote the story "The Wonderful Doctor" based on real events. A man, exhausted by poverty, is ready to desperately commit suicide, but the famous doctor Pirogov, who happened to be nearby, speaks to him. He helps the unfortunate, and from that moment on, his life and the life of his family changes in the most happy way. This story speaks volumes about the fact that the act of one person can affect the fate of other people.

20th century - the first century in history humanity of the world wars, the century of the creation of weapons of mass destruction. An incredible situation is developing: humanity can destroy itself. In Hiroshima, on the monument to the victims of the atomic bombing, it is written: “Sleep well, the mistake will not happen again”. To prevent one and many other mistakes from being repeated, the struggle for peace, the struggle against weapons of mass destruction, acquires a universal character.

"Notes of a Hunter" by I. Turgenev played a huge role in the social life of our country. People, having read bright, bright stories about peasants, realized that it is immoral to own people like cattle. A wide movement for the abolition of serfdom began in the country.

During the Great Patriotic War GF Flerov, using a short vacation, went to the scientific library. He drew attention to the fact that there are no publications on radioactivity in foreign journals. This means that these works are classified. He immediately wrote a disturbing letter to the government. Immediately after that, all nuclear scientists were summoned from the front and active work began on the creation of an atomic bomb, which in the future helped to stop possible aggression against our country.

Scientific progress and moral qualities of a person

In the story of M. Bulgakov " dog's heart" Doctor Preobrazhensky turns a dog into a man. Scientists are driven by the thirst for knowledge, the desire to change nature. But sometimes progress turns into terrible consequences: a two-legged creature with a "dog's heart" is not yet a man, because there is no soul in him, no love, honor, nobility.

"We got on the plane, but we don't know where it will fly!"- - wrote the famous Russian writer Y. Bondarev. These words sound a warning to all of humanity. Indeed, we are sometimes very careless, we do something “get on the plane” without thinking about what the consequences of our hasty decisions and thoughtless actions will be. And these consequences can be fatal.

Nicolaus Copernicus after long long research came to the conclusion that the center of our Universe is not the Earth, but the Sun. But the scientist did not dare to publish data on his discovery for a long time, because he understood that such news would turn people's ideas about the world order. and this can lead to unpredictable consequences.

Russian literature always was closely associated with moral quest our people. One of the writers who sincerely supports the morality of our society is Valentin Rasputin. A special place in his work is the story "Fire" This is a reflection on civic courage and moral positions of man. When a fire broke out in Sosnovka, there were few of those who, risking their lives, defended popular goods... Many came to "warm their hands". A fire is the result of general ill-being. People are corrupted by the uncomfortableness of everyday life, the scarcity of spiritual life, and a soulless attitude towards nature.

Many problems of our time, including moral ones, are raised by Anatoly Pristavkin in the story "A golden cloud spent the night." He sharply raises the issue of national relations, talks about the connection between generations, raises the topic of good and evil, talks about many other issues, the solution of which depends not only on politics and economics, but also on the level of general culture.

1) History knows many unsuccessful attempts to forcefully make a person happy. If freedom is taken away from people, then paradise turns into a dungeon. The favorite of Tsar Alexander 1, General Arakcheev, creating military settlements at the beginning of the 19th century, pursued good goals. The peasants were forbidden to drink vodka, they were supposed to go to church at the appointed time, children should be sent to schools, they were forbidden to be punished. It would seem that everything is correct! But people were forced to be good. they were forced to love, work, study. And the person deprived of freedom, turned into a slave, revolted: a wave of general protest arose, and Arakcheev's reforms were curtailed.

2) One African tribe, who lived in the equatorial zone, decided to help. Young Africans were taught to beg for rice, they were brought in tractors and seeders. A year has passed - we came to see how the tribe, gifted with new knowledge, lives. Imagine the disappointment when they saw that the tribe lived and lives in a primitive communal system: they sold tractors to farmers, and with the proceeds they organized a national holiday. This example is an eloquent testimony to the fact that a person must mature to understand his needs, you cannot make anyone rich, smart and happy by force.

3) In one kingdom came severe drought, people began to die of hunger and thirst. The king turned to the soothsayer who came to them from distant lands. He predicted that the drought would end as soon as a foreigner was sacrificed. Then the king ordered to kill the soothsayer and throw him into the well. The drought ended, but since then a constant hunt for foreign wanderers began.

4) Historian E. Tarle in one from his books tells about Nicholas I's visit to Moscow University. When the rector introduced the best students to him, Nicholas 1 said: “I don’t need clever people, but I need novices”. The attitude towards clever people and novices in various fields of knowledge and art eloquently testifies to the nature of society.

5) In 1848, a tradesman Nikifor Nikitin was exiled to the distant settlement of Baikonur "for seditious speeches about the flight to the moon." Of course, no one could have known that a century later, on this very place, in the Kazakh steppe, a cosmodrome would be built and spaceships would fly to where the prophetic eyes of the enthusiastic dreamer looked.

1) Ancient historians tell that once a stranger came to the Roman emperor, who brought as a gift a metal shining like silver, but extremely soft. The master said that he mines this metal from the clay-sting earth. The emperor, fearing that the new metal would devalue his treasures, ordered the inventor's head to be cut off.

2) Archimedes, knowing that people suffer from drought, from hunger, proposed new ways of irrigating land. Thanks to its opening, the yield has increased sharply, people have ceased to be afraid of hunger.

3) Outstanding scientist Fleming discovered penicillin. This drug has saved the lives of millions of people who previously died of blood poisoning.

4) One English engineer in the middle 19th century offered an improved cartridge. But officials from the military department arrogantly told him: "We are already strong, only the weak need to improve weapons."

5) Renowned Scientist Jenner, who defeated smallpox with the help of vaccinations, was prompted by the words of an ordinary peasant woman to a brilliant idea. The doctor told her that she had smallpox. To this the woman calmly replied: "It cannot be, because I already had cowpox." The doctor did not consider these words to be the result of dark ignorance, but began to conduct observations, which led to an ingenious discovery.

The problem of a thoughtless, cruel attitude of man to the natural world.

How to save the world from environmental disaster?

1) V.G. Rasputin. "Farewell to Matera"... The island, where people have lived for centuries, want to flood. Along with the problems of ecology, there are problems of a moral character and historical memory.

2) M. Bulgakov. "Fatal eggs": Professor Persikov accidentally brings out giant reptiles, which threaten civilization, instead of large chickens.

3) "Heart of a Dog"... Professor Preobrazhensky transplants part of the human brain to Sharik's dog, turning a quite cute dog into a disgusting Polygraph Poligrafovich Sharikov. You can't mindlessly interfere with nature!

The problem of cruelty and humanism towards animals.

V. V. Mayakovsky Poem"Treat horses well." The plot is based on the fall of an old horse, which aroused not just the lively curiosity of the crowd, but even the laughter of those around.

The problem of the complexity of relationships between people (humane attitude towards people around, indifference to the fate of another person, moral responsibility of a person to other people).

1) K. G. Paustovsky "Telegram"... The girl Nastya lives in Leningrad, receives a telegram stating that her mother is sick, but affairs that seem important to her do not allow her to go to her mother. When she, realizing the magnitude of the possible loss, arrives in the village, it is too late: the mother is gone ...

2) V. G. Rasputin "Live and Remember"... The deserter husband secretly appears in the vicinity of his native village. His wife Nastena tries to save him, but the rumor of people is worse: pursued by fellow villagers, realizing that she is driven into a dead end by circumstances (she is pregnant, she cannot betray her husband, but it’s scary to live in a lie), Nastena commits suicide. She is selfless, her husband is cowardly and selfish.

3) V. Bykov "Sotnikov"... The problem of moral choice: which is better - to save your life at the cost of betrayal (as the hero of the story Rybak does) or to die not as a hero (no one will know about Sotnikov's heroic death), but to die with dignity. Sotnikov makes it difficult moral choice: dies, retaining its human appearance.

The problem of kindness, forgiveness. The problem of responsibility for one's own affairs

M. A. Bulgakov. "The Master and Margarita"... The image of Yeshua is the image of Jesus Christ, which carries the idea of genuine kindness and forgiveness. He says about all people, even those who bring him pain and suffering: “ good person”, The procurator of Judea, who doomed him to a painful death, he forgives, going with him into eternity. The image of the procurator of Judea symbolizes how a person can be punished for cowardice. Because of cowardice, he sends innocent Yeshua to execution, to terrible torment, for which he suffers both on earth and in eternal life.

The problem of the relationship between "fathers" and "children". Is it possible to avoid generational conflict? How is the true love of parents for their children (children for their parents) manifested?

1) And S. Turgenev. "Fathers and Sons"... A classic that shows the problem of misunderstanding between the older and younger generations. Evgeny Bazarov feels like a stranger in relation to the older Kirsanovs and in relation to his parents. And although, by his own admission, he loves them, his attitude brings them grief.

2) L. N. Tolstoy. Trilogy "Childhood", "Adolescence", "Youth". Striving to know the world, to become an adult, Nikolenka Irteniev gradually learns the world, realizes that much in it is imperfect, encounters a misunderstanding of the elders, sometimes offends them (chapters "Classes", "Natalia Savishna")

3) K. G. Paustovsky "Telegram". Girl Nastya, living in Leningrad, receives a telegram stating that her mother is sick, but the affairs that seem important to her do not allow her to go to her mother. When she, realizing the magnitude of the possible loss, arrives in the village, it is too late: the mother is gone ...

4) Let's imagine people who start building a house in the morning, and the next day, without finishing what they have begun, start building a new house. Such a picture can cause nothing but bewilderment. But this is exactly what people do, who reject the experience of their ancestors and, as it were, begin to build their "house" anew.

5) The problem of fathers and children includes a number of important moral issues... This is the problem of education, the problem of choosing moral rules, the problem of gratitude, the problem of misunderstanding. They are raised in various works, and each author tries to look at them in his own way. A. S. Griboyedov, describing in the comedy "Woe from Wit" the struggle of the "present century" and the "past century", did not ignore the complex problem of fathers and children. The very idea of the work is a struggle between the old and the new.

6) And Pyotr Grinev in the Tale of A. Pushkin « Captain's daughter”, Following the instruction of his father, remained an honest and noble person in all situations in which he had to fall * honor and conscience remained above all for him for the rest of his life.

7) One of the most important facets of the problem“Fathers and children” is gratitude. Are children grateful to their parents who love them, raised them and raised them? The topic of gratitude is raised in the story of A. S. Pushkin “ Stationmaster”. The tragedy of a father, who dearly loved his only daughter, appears before us in this story. Of course, Dunya did not forget her father, she loves him and feels her guilt before him, but still the fact that she left, leaving her father alone, turned out to be a big blow for him, so strong that he could not bear it.

1) After reading the story of A.S. Pushkin"The Captain's Daughter", you understand that one of the themes of this work is the theme of honor and dishonor. In the story, two heroes are opposed: Grinev and Shvabrin - and their ideas about honor. Two officers Russian army behave in completely different ways: the first follows the laws of officer honor and remains faithful to the military oath, the second easily becomes a traitor. Grinev and Shvabrin are carriers of two fundamentally different worldviews.

2) The problem of honor and dishonor rises in the novel by Leo Tolstoy "War and Peace". Honor and dignity are the main qualities human character and any high aspirations and searches are alien to the one who has lost them. The problem of moral self-improvement of the individual has always been one of the most important in the work of Leo Tolstoy.

3) Poet John Brown got from the Russian Empress Eka-terina the Enlightenment project, but could not come because he fell ill. However, he had already received money from her, therefore, saving his honor, he committed suicide.

4) During the Titanic disaster Baron Guggenheim gave up his place in the boat to a woman with a child, and he himself carefully shaved and accepted death with dignity.

5) One of the Stalinist prisoners camps in his memoirs told such a case. The guards, wanting to have fun, forced the prisoners to do squats. Entangled by beatings and hunger, people began to obediently carry out this ridiculous order. But there was one person who, despite the threats, refused to obey. And this act reminded everyone that a person has an honor that no one can take away.

6) One traveler talked about how the Eskimos gave him a large bundle of dried fish. Hurrying to the ship but, he forgot her in the plague. Returning six months later, he found this bundle in the same place. The traveler learned that the tribe had gone through a hard winter, people were starving, but no one dared to touch someone else's, fearing to incur the wrath of higher powers on themselves by a dishonest act.

1) During the second World War II, the Germans persuaded one criminal to play a role famous hero Resistance. They put him in a cell with the arrested underground workers, so that he could learn from them all the information he needed. But the criminal, feeling the care of strangers, their respect and love, suddenly abandoned the pitiful role of an informer, did not give out the information he had heard from the supporters and was shot.

2) Betrayal during at all times it was considered a vile act, dishonoring a person's honor. So, for example, a provocateur who betrayed the members of the Petrashevsky circle to the police (among those arrested was great writer F. Dostoevsky), promised to arrange him for a well-paid job as a reward. But, despite the zealous efforts of the police, all the St. Petersburg clerks refused the services of a traitor.

3) Czech hockey player M. Nova, as the best player of the team, presented the latest model of Toyota. He asked to pay him the cost of the car and divided the money among all the members of the team.

4) Famous revolutionary G. Kotovsky was sentenced to death by hanging for robbery. The fate of this uncommon person excited the writer A. Fedorov, who began to petition for a pardon for the robber. He achieved the release of Kotovsky, and he solemnly promised the writer to repay him in kind. A few years later, when Kotovsky became a red commander, this writer came to him and asked him to save his son, who was captured by the security officers. Kotovsky, risking his life, rescue the young man from captivity.

1) Ardent love for the Motherland, we feel pride in her beauty in the works of the classics.

The theme of heroic deed in the struggle against the enemies of the Motherland is also heard in the poem "Borodino" by M. Yu. Lermontov, dedicated to one of the glorious pages of the historical past of our country.

2) The topic of the Motherland rises in the works of S. Yesenin. No matter what Yesenin wrote about: about experiences, about historical turning points, about the fate of Russia in "severe and terrible years" - each Yesenin image and line is warmed by a feeling of boundless love for the motherland: But above all. Love for the native land

3) Famous writer told the story of the Decembrist Sukhinov, who, after the defeat of the uprising, was able to hide from the police bloodhounds and, after painful wanderings, finally got to the border. Another minute - and he will find freedom. But the fugitive looked at the field, forest, sky and realized that he could not live in a foreign land, far from his homeland. He surrendered to the police, he was shackled and sent to hard labor.

4) Outstanding Russian the singer Fyodor Chaliapin, forced to leave Russia, always carried a box with him. Nobody knew what was in it. Only many years later, relatives learned that Chaliapin kept a handful of his native land in this box. No wonder they say: native land is sweet in a handful. Obviously, the great singer, who passionately loved his homeland, needed to feel the closeness and warmth of his native land.

5) The fascists, having occupied France, offered General Denikin, who fought against the Red Army during the civil war, to cooperate with them in the fight against Soviet Union... But the general responded with a sharp refusal, because his homeland was dearer to him than political differences.

6) African slaves, taken to America, tossed about their native land. In despair, they killed themselves, hoping that the soul, throwing off the body, could, like a bird, fly home.

7) The worst the punishment in ancient times was the expulsion of a person from a tribe, city or country. Outside your home - a foreign land: a foreign land, a foreign sky, a foreign language. There you are all alone, there you are nobody, a creature without rights and without a name. That is why leaving the homeland meant for a person to lose everything.

8) Outstanding Russian hockey player V. Tretyak was offered to move to Canada. They promised to buy him a house and pay a big salary. The Tretiak pointed to heaven and earth and asked: "Will you buy this for me too?" The answer of the famous athlete confused everyone, and no one returned to this proposal.

9) When in the middle In the 19th century, an English squadron laid siege to the capital of Turkey, Istanbul, the entire population rose to defend their city. The townspeople destroyed their own houses if they interfered with the Turkish cannons from targeting enemy ships.

10) Once Upon a Wind decided to dump the mighty oak that grew on the hill. But the oak only bent under the blows of the wind. Then the wind asked the majestic oak: "Why can't I defeat you?"

11) Oak answered that the barrel is not holding it. Its strength lies in the fact that it has grown into the ground, its roots hold on to it. This ingenuous story expresses the idea that love for the homeland, a deep connection with national history, with the cultural experience of ancestors makes the people invincible.

12) When over England impending the threat of a terrible and devastating war with Spain, then the entire population, hitherto torn apart by enmity, rallied the axis around its queen. Merchants and noblemen used their own money to equip an army, people of a simple title were enrolled in the militia. Even the pirates remembered their homeland and brought their ships to save it from the enemy. And the "invincible armada" of the Spaniards was defeated.

13) Turks during of their military campaigns they captured captive boys and youths. Children were forcibly converted to Islam, turned into warriors, who were called janissaries. The Turks hoped that, deprived of spiritual roots, having forgotten their homeland, brought up in fear and obedience, the new warriors would become a reliable stronghold of the state.

Role of example. Raising a person

1) Works teach courage and resilience. The theme of the Great Patriotic War occupies an important place in the literature. The writer often refers to this period of history. The story "Sotnikov", written by Vasil Bykov, is one of the best works about war. After going through difficult trials, the main characters fall into the clutches of the Germans. Sotnikov is a modest, inconspicuous person, a simple teacher. But, being sick and weak, he went on a responsible assignment. Exhausted by torture, he remains unbroken. The source of Sotnikov's courage and heroism was the conviction in the justice of the struggle waged by the people. This work teaches us courage and courage, helps our moral development.

2) "Instructions" by Vladimir Monomakh... Already in the chronicle sources, the problems of upbringing were given a huge influence: the "Precept" speaks of eternal moral values, love for the motherland, respect for elders, the need for kindness, loyalty ...

3) Many people tend to blame unfavorable conditions for everything: family, friends, way of life, rulers. But after all, it is precisely the struggle, the overcoming of difficulties that is the most important condition for a full-fledged spiritual formation... It is no coincidence that in folk tales the true biography of the hero begins only when he passes the test (fights a monster, rescues a stolen bride, gets a magic item).

4) And A. Goncharov. "Oblomov"... One of the most important parts of the novel reveals the problems of upbringing: in "Oblomov's Dream" it is shown how the atmosphere of laziness, unwillingness to work, to think disfigures the soul of a child.

5) M. Yu. Lermontov. "Hero of our time"... Lack of purpose in life, work habits form " extra person"," Unwillingly egoist. " Pechorin himself is aware of his egoism, admits that he brings misfortune to everyone. His upbringing made him that way.

Historical background

Historical background homeland constantly worried Pushkin both as a poet and as a prose writer. He created such works as "Song of the Prophetic Oleg", "Borodino Anniversary", "Poltava". "Bronze Horseman". "Boris Godunov". "The history of the Pugachev revolt" and, of course, "The Captain's Daughter". All of these pieces describe different historical events, different historical eras

The theme of the triumph of Russian weapons, the heroism of the Russian people, the victor and liberator, is dazzling and strong in the works dedicated to Patriotic War 1812 In the seventh chapter of "Eugene Onegin", the feat of Moscow is glorified.

Human responsibility for the lives of others

So, in the work of Tolstoy "War and Peace" especially acute is the question of the moral responsibility of man before history.

Feelings of guilt and responsibility for those around him rises in works about the Great Patriotic War. For example, in A. Tvardovsky's poem “I know, no fault of mine. The lyrical hero asks a rhetorical question: could he save those who did not come from the war? Of course not, but the feeling of guilt does not leave the hero and the author.

Self-sacrifice for the love of neighbor (*)

1) F. M. Dostoevsky"Crime and Punishment" ."Sonechka, Sonechka Marmeladova, eternal Sonechka while the world stands! "- a symbol of self-sacrifice in the name of one's neighbor and endlessly" insatiable "suffering.

2) A.I.Kuprin in the story "Garnet Bracelet" understands love as a miracle, as a wonderful gift. The death of an official revived a woman who did not believe in love, which means that love still triumphs over death.

3) M. Gorky legend about "Danko". Danko sacrificed himself to save people. Danko's feat is similar to the feat of Prometheus, who stole fire for people, but suffered a terrible punishment for this. This feat of Danko should serve as a reminder to new generations of what a real person should be.

4) One from books devoted to the Great Patriotic War, the former siege soldier recalls that he, a dying teenager, during a terrible famine saved his life as a living neighbor, who brought a can of canned meat sent by his son from the front. "I am already old, and you are young, you still have to live and live," the man said. He soon died, and the boy he saved for the rest of his life retained a grateful memory of him.

5) Tragedy occurred in the Krasnodar Territory. A fire broke out in the nursing home, where the sick old people lived, who could not even walk. Nurse Lydia Pashentseva rushed to help the disabled. The woman pulled several patients out of the fire, but could not get out herself.

Compassion and mercy. Sensitivity

M. A. Sholokhov there is a wonderful story "The Fate of a Man". It tells about tragic fate a soldier who lost all his relatives during the war. One day he met an orphan boy and decided to call himself his father. This step says that love and the desire to do good give a person strength for life, strength in order to resist fate.

Callous and soulless attitude towards a person (Indifferent attitude ..)

January 2006 year in Vladivostok, there was a terrible fire. The premises of the Savings Bank, which was located on the eighth floor of the "skyscraper", caught fire. The chief demanded that the employees first hide all documents in the safe, and then evacuate. While the documents were being removed, a fire engulfed the corridor, and many of the girls died.

During the recent During the war in the Caucasus, an incident occurred that aroused just indignation in society. A wounded soldier was brought to the state hospital, but the doctors refused to admit him, claiming that their institution belongs to the Ministry of Internal Affairs system, and the soldier belongs to the Ministry of Defense. While they were looking for the necessary medical unit, the wounded died.

Can the Internet and television replace a book?

The book and the Internet are two independent types of culture. It should be borne in mind that the book is the oldest type of culture, and the Internet is only a few decades old. Therefore, the Internet will not only not replace, but, on the contrary, in my opinion, will strengthen and return interest in the book. Although, undoubtedly, some part of people now read literature only from the screen. I would characterize the relationship between the book and the Internet as brother-enemies.

Most likely, the book and the Internet will exist together, complementing each other. Another question is whether there will be more - digital or paper literature. I think a book fiction book, will retain its positions. Here in many respects everything depends on the perception of the texts. Judging by myself. I can't read the texts from the screen: I can't completely immerse myself in art world; the screen distracts, prevents you from concentrating.

No. Because a book is something exquisite. A person's love for the book, for the library will not disappear. I would like to note that although the circulation of books is falling, the quality of printing is getting better. Book, by at least, nice to hold in your hands.

M. A Bulgakov"The Master and Margarita". Woland is the embodiment of evil, Yeshua is the bearer of the idea of good, but evil and good separately do not make sense: Woland - the devil says that he is a part of evil, which, unwillingly, brings good.

A.S. Pushkin in the tragedy "Boris Godunov" accurately identified and showed folk character... Always dissatisfied with the existing government, people are ready to rise to its destruction and revolt, striking terror into the rulers - and nothing more. And as a result, they themselves remain offended, since the fruits of their victory are enjoyed by the boyars and noblemen of noble birth who stand at the throne of the sovereign.

The people are left with one thing - to "keep silent."

In the work I. Ilf and E. Petrov "Twelve chairs". The vocabulary of the heroine of this novel, Ellochka Shchukina, was only thirty words. And although she did not feel the need to use any other words, her speech portrait was undoubtedly severely damaged.

Another an example would be ancient greek orator Demosthenes... He long years worked on his speech portrait, facial expressions, gestures, because a weak voice, short breathing did not allow him to fulfill his dream - to become an orator. Demosthenes trained to speak with the sound of waves, with pebbles in his mouth, and as a result was able to eliminate the shortcomings of his speech and become a real professional in his field, leaving a bright mark on history. This happened precisely due to his attentive attitude to his speech portrait.

The problem of heredity and self-formation

In Russian literature and in life we so revered the image of the Lefty in the work of Leskov. Without learning the craft anywhere, he managed to shoe a flea without a microscope. There is no doubt that he developed his own talent. No one told Lefty that such a talent is embedded in his genotype or, on the contrary, is not embedded.

I also wanted I would like to remember the Paralympic Games. People with disabilities, seemingly limited by nature in mobility, find the strength to play sports and set records. This is the clearest proof that everyone is capable of self-formation and self-development, that not everything in human life is determined by heredity.

Memory preservation problem

Memory of the past store not only household items, jewelry, but also, for example, letters, photographs, documents. In the story "The Last Bow" by V.P. Astafiev there is a chapter called "A photograph in which I am not." The hero tells how a photographer came to a rural school, but because of an illness he could not be photographed. The teacher brought Vitka a photograph. Many years passed, but the hero saved this picture, despite the fact that it was not on it. He looks at her and remembers his classmates, thinks about their fates. As the hero says, "village photography is an original chronicle of our people, its wall history."

Let's remember the hero A.I.Kuprina Zheltkova from the work "Garnet Bracelet"... He gives Princess Vera Nikolaevna, his beloved, a family jewel, Garnet bracelet inherited from his mother. Zheltkov sacredly protects him and decides to part with him just before his death.

The problem of human spirituality

Alyoshka, hero story A. Solzhenitsyn "One day Ivan Denisovich», is just an example of a spiritual person. He went to prison because of his faith, but did not give up on it, on the contrary, this young man defended his truth and tried to convey it to other prisoners. Not a single day of his passed without reading the Gospel, copied into an ordinary notebook.

Man and art. The impact of art on humans

For example, song"Holy War" to the words of V. Lebedev-Kumach, A. Aleksandrov's music raised the soldiers to attack, defending their homeland. She became the musical emblem of the Great Patriotic War. With this song, with its harsh pathos, which absorbed bitterness, pain, and anger, the Russian people, seized by "noble fury", went to the "mortal battle", stood shoulder to shoulder to defend the Motherland.

In the story of E. Nosov"Chopin, sonata number two" music becomes a means of uniting people, between Uncle Sasha, a participant in the war, and the band members, mutual understanding begins. Heavy, thumping sounds of suffering, groans, blows - everything that can be heard in the requiem - make the orchestra children realize the significance and cost of victory in the war, because this sonata is in tune with the grief of the entire Russian people.

Human perception of nature as living matter (the influence of nature on the human soul)

Yegorushka, a 9-year-old boy, amazed by the beauty of the steppe, humanizes it and turns it into his double: it seems to him that the steppe space is capable of suffering, and rejoicing, and longing. His feelings and thoughts become not childishly serious, philosophical.

Natasha Rostova, admiring the beauty of the night in Otradnoye, is ready to fly like a bird: she is inspired by what she has seen. Andrei Bolkonsky, during a trip to Otradnoye, saw an old oak tree, and the changes that subsequently took place in the hero's soul are associated with the beauty and grandeur of the mighty tree.

The fisherman Utrobin, having caught a huge fish on the hook, is unable to cope with it. In order to avoid death, he is forced to release her. Meeting with a fish, symbolizing the moral principle in nature, makes this poacher reconsider his ideas about life.

Inseparable connection with the homeland, native land

For Matryona Vasilyevna, her house, courtyard, village are much more important than the place where you live. For the heroine, this is the meaning of her being, a part of her life, the memory of the past, of those close to her.

Human Relationship Problem Arguments

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What should be the relationship between people?

To attract the attention of readers, the author gives examples of conflicts and disagreements between our nations and countries. Most often this happens due to the lack of mutual understanding between people, he said. And to prevent this from happening, the author invites us to be able to understand another person, to forgive other people's mistakes. If we do not forgive, he argues, such thoughts will have a detrimental effect on us: we will become irritable, become sad, and may even get sick. Therefore, the writer encourages us to forgive people, which will allow us to solve our problems, love and enjoy life.

To prove the validity of my point of view, I will give the following examples from the works fiction... In Leo Tolstoy's novel War and Peace, Prince Andrei Bolkonsky, wounded during the Battle of Borodino, meets Anatoly Kuragin at the dressing station. Seeing how his leg is amputated, he feels compassion for the pain and suffering of his rival, is imbued with compassion for him and forgives him.

I will give another example from the novel by M. Dostoevsky "Crime and Punishment". In the epilogue the main character works Rodion Raskolnikov was convicted of his crime and is in prison in Siberia. Sonya Marmeladova, who has compassion for Raskolnikov, goes to him and often visits him. In hard labor, no one loves him and even hates him. The resurrection of the protagonist did not immediately begin. Only his illness and Sonya's illness, the fear of losing her, awakened in him love for her, love for the people around him, the ability to forgive them. From that moment on, Raskolnikov understands that “life has come,” and he has the Gospel under his pillow. And the attitude of convicts towards him also changed.

Thus, all of the above allows us to conclude that the ability to forgive is one of the best qualities of a human character that can perform miracles in our lives. Unexpected transformations can occur to us from the moment we forgive those with whom we have been offended. Let's try to understand the other person and forgive him.

We live in a time when between different countries, nations every day there are any conflicts and disagreements. The reason for this is the lack of mutual understanding and compliance. This applies to both the whole people and each of its representatives. After all, interethnic conflicts are often preceded by a lack of mutual understanding among individuals. This means that we all need to first of all learn to understand another person, forgive other people's mistakes, get rid of our own grievances, remembering that the most important law of life is precisely the ability to forgive.

In the center of attention is the figure of Emelyan Pugachev - a rebel, a man who opposed the government. What prompted him to do this? Why did he not only encroach on the throne himself, but also led the people? And how did the people believe the impostor? Why? Under the burden of years, we can forget the historical setting in which the idea of rebellion was born. People, (note, not slaves, not cattle) being in serfdom dependence on their not always humane masters (remember at least Skotinin from "The Minor"), were forced to obey their will, unquestioningly listening to every, even delusional, demand. The idea of a good king lived in the heart of every person. A brave, daring, desperate rebel took responsibility and decided to give people will, albeit short-lived, albeit such ephemeral, but will. You can assess the degree of his courage only by understanding the tale told by Grinev. Pugachev initially knew the final development of events, into the cycle of which he plunged his country. But he was not frightened, did not rob and hid. No, he went to the scaffold to prove how inhuman power can plunge the country into the horror of a merciless bloody massacre.

2. A.A. Akhmatova "Requiem"

The poem was written at a time when the Stalinist repressions brought the whole country to its knees, when the author of the poem herself stood in line with the transfer to her son, who was condemned as an enemy of the people. A poem was formed from memories and vivid impressions:

It was when I was smiling
Only dead, glad to be calm.

The lyrical heroine draws a parallel between the fate of her contemporary and her longtime compatriot, whose husband was executed as an archer rebel

I will be like streltsy women,
Howl under the Kremlin towers.

The death stars were above us
And innocent Russia writhed
Under bloody boots
And under the tires of black marus.

3. M.A.Bulgakov "The Master and Margarita"

The main character of the novel, the Master, is a man living in a terrible time of Stalinist repressions. By writing a novel about Pontius Pilate, he touched on the problem of human responsibility for a decision. Its protagonist in the novel, The Masters, is the procurator of Judea - a man invested with practically unlimited power, doubts his righteousness. The phenomenon is practically unacceptable for the authorities. For the era of Stalinism, a person exposed to power has no right to doubt that his decision is fair. This means that such a work is harmful a priori. The craftsmen are arrested. This act broke him, made him weak-willed. So a person who turned against the government turned out to be outlawed, he himself was subjected to repression.

4. A.I. Solzhenitsyn "One day of Ivan Denisovich"

The story is dedicated to the fate of a man who was in the camp on charges of treason, although all his fault was that he was in captivity for several days, but he left the encirclement and was ready to defend the Motherland further. However, his act seemed to the authorities a betrayal. While serving time, Ivan Denisovich carefully preserves his human dignity, he works and complies with all the requirements of the law that reigns in the zone. This is a kind of denial of Shukhov's guilt. This person is always and everywhere law-abiding. Why is he objectionable to the authorities? Simply, the authorities are looking for enemies, and who is among them today is of little importance.

If for women the concept of "respect" lies in the emotional sphere, then for men it has a more practical meaning.

My wife doesn't respect me! I have lost respect for my husband! In our relationship, respect for each other has disappeared ...- the family psychologist hears similar complaints every day.

If you ask any person what they would like from relationships with other people, I am sure that most often you will hear the word "respect".

What is respect and why is it

The need for respect is among the top priorities for most people... Regardless of the nature of the relationship, age and gender, we are very sensitive in everything when it comes to respect.

Why? What gives us respect?

To answer this question, let's try to define respect. It is quite difficult to give a simple and understandable definition right away, so we will try to construct this definition.

1. Respect is one person's attitude(groups of people) to another person(to a group of people)

2. This attitude is based on mutual recognition of the personality merits of each of these people.(groups of people).

3. Recognition of the priority of their safety and non-harm: physical, psychological and moral.

4. Recognition of their fundamental rights to freedom, expression, religion, etc.

As can be seen from our definition, respect is a whole complex of concepts that affects, oddly enough, our instinct for self-preservation!

Now it becomes clear why in personal relationships the problem of loss / restoration of respect is becoming one of the central ones.

In order to understand what gives us respect, let's look at the diagram:

As you can see from the diagram, for men (highlighted in blue) and for women (highlighted in red), the priority qualities in the concept of "respect" are different things.

If for women the concept of "respect" lies in the emotional sphere, then for men it has a more practical meaning. Understanding these differences becomes especially important when we try to analyze what behaviors and actions inevitably lead to a loss of respect for him or her.

Before talking about the reasons for the disappearance of respect in relationships, let's think about how this concept is formed in a person in principle.

In order for a person to be able to respect others, he needs to have an appropriate upbringing based on the mutual respect of men and women, children to their parents, parents to children, as well as to other people. And one more important addition is this a person must respect himself!

There is a very close connection between self-respect and respect for others. Surely many people know the axiom that it is impossible to gain respect from others without respecting oneself. It is believed that a person's self-esteem is divided into two components:

emotional- how I treat myself from the position of "good and evil", my assessment of myself as a "good" or "bad" person, and

rational- an indicator of my competence, professionalism, success. Note that both components that form self-esteem in men and women are different.

Consider the picture:

From the picture it becomes clear that we call respectful such an attitude towards us that strengthens or at least supports our self-esteem.

Accordingly, "unfriendly" behavior that calls into question my competence or my assessment of myself, I will regard as disrespectful. In the relationship between a man and a woman, respect is closely related to sex-role behavior, more precisely, with the expectation of certain behavior.

Let's take a look at a simple example.

A man and a woman are riding in a car. We stopped.

The man got out of the car, opened the door from the woman's side and helped her out of the car.

The man showed respect for the lady (helped to get out of the car), the woman showed respect for the man, waiting for him to come up to help get out, thanked him, thereby showing that she was confident in his good manners.

Respect breeds respect.

Unfortunately, Disrespect starts with little things, the most common of which are: lack of elementary gratitude at the level of thanks ", inattention, failure to fulfill one's promises, raising one's voice.

Of course, some will react to this, and some will not. Are you sure you know the adage that "a little lie creates a lot of mistrust"? The same can be said about respect - small acts of disrespect grow into big problems over time.

Signs of chronic disrespect in men and women are presented in the following figure:

It is important to note that respect is lost not only when such behavior is shown directly to this person, but also to his relatives, friends or colleagues.

My husband doesn't respect my mother! My wife doesn't respect my friends!

From time to time, at a reception, I have to hear how this or that client speaks about the loss of respect for his wife / husband because of her / his disrespectful attitude towards relatives or friends.

Indeed, we often associate ourselves with people close to us and tend to take at our own expense what is not always directed directly at us.

Why it happens?

Belonging to a group (and family, friends, colleagues are a group) gives us an additional sense of security and comfort, so disrespect for this "our" group automatically extends to us. In disunited families, where there are no close emotional ties, this does not happen.

There are a number of actions that almost always cause long-term(if not final) loss of respect.

They are well known, these are: betrayal (betrayal), humiliation, insult, lies, violence.

Regardless of gender, a person faced with such manifestations from a partner instantly loses respect for him. It is extremely difficult to regain respect after such actions. This is due to the fact that each of these actions deeply hurts the victim's self-esteem, hurts him. Pain and respect are incompatible.

The peculiarity of respect is that it is much more difficult to earn it than to lose it. In this sense, respect as a concept is close to trust.

But what if you feel a loss of respect for yourself from your loved ones?

Here is a simple step-by-step instruction that can help regain lost respect.

1. Look at yourself.

Analyze your behavior as "possibly wrong" towards the person. Maybe you violated its "boundaries", doubted its value, or just offended ...

Not everyone is able to openly and immediately declare the wrong attitude towards themselves. Unspoken grievances never go away.

Having admitted that your behavior is wrong, do not rush to immediately ask for forgiveness, but rather try to understand why (?) you did this.

Without understanding the motives of your behavior, you run the risk of repeating it in the future. The next step in your analysis will be to look for another course of action that will not be perceived by your partner as disrespectful.

2. Start a dialogue.

Tell your partner how important their respect is to you and how you feel when they are not. Do not make excuses and do not shift the blame from yourself to him.

Admit your mistakes by simply listing them. Recognize the person's right to take offense at you and change their attitude towards you.

3. Ask for forgiveness.

Forgiveness, not apology.

Not many people know that there are big differences between the two terms.

Apology is a more formal, secular term. Its essence boils down to asking to bring the apologetic out of the "state of guilt." Forgiveness is a more personal term, if not intimate - its essence is a request to accept repentance.

4. Take action.

Whether you are forgiven or not, your awareness of your mistakes should be transformed into new attitudes and actions.

Remember that you first need to regain your respect for yourself and you are on the right track. published by If you have any questions on this topic, ask them to the specialists and readers of our project